- Jan 23, 2008
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Over the last few months I've been feeling like I need to study Bible prophecy more and really start paying attention to what is going on in the world. Somehow I ended up here and I've been reading a lot of what you folks have to say about prophecy, end-times, news and politics. I definitely feel that this community is blessed. Please bear with me, this is long (and I hope I put it in the right forum), but I would appreciate any feedback you can give me. Let me start by saying that I was raised Catholic, turned away from Jesus in my early teens (but never my Creator or His Holy Spirit) and was turned back toward Jesus when I was 21. Since that time I have sought Jesus in the Scriptures. My husband was also raised Catholic but was influenced in his teens by Baptists. He and I both seek fellowship with other believers but are extremely wary of formal churches, believing that Satan works harder in the church than anywhere else. (I did read the thread about going to church. I have had friends lecture me about it and when God moves me I will go, but I do not believe that attending an organized service is necessary for salvation.) I have a lot of issues with the Catholic church but my husband feels it is better for one of our children to attend a Catholic school than a public one (and to some extent I agree). I've tried homeschooling (and am homeschooling one child right now) but I have not been as effective as I feel I could have been. When I began reading Revelation again (I have read it before and followed a radio preacher's study on it, though now I disagree with much of his interpretation) it took me a long time to go through the churches because I found it really interesting that Jesus' appearance is described in whole to us, the reader, but when John gives the messages to the churches there is a different aspect of His appearance which is stressed to each individual church. Then I got to the "doctrine of the Nicolaitanes" which God says He hates. So I began my internet journey looking to see what exactly this is. I came to 2 different answers. One being that the word Nicolaitanes means "to conquer the laity" in Greek and then the Wikipedia entry tells me that the Nicolaitanes were "they lead lives of unrestrained indulgence." When I initially read the two ideas, "conquer the laity" seemed like a stretch to me. But the more I let it sink in the more inclined I am to accept that definition. I have prayed that God would help me discern the truth and that he would move my husband to be acceptable to removing our child from the school if that was true. I don't want to knowingly put my child/ren in a setting that espouses something that God hates.And this leads me to my second question. I do not believe in any rapture. So if, and it seems likely, we are the generation which will experience the Tribulation, how do we protect our children? I do not worry for my own life, whether I live or die and if I live what manner of life I will have, be it in captivity or not, and if I die I pray that I am blessed to die for my Savior. I will not accept the mark of the beast and I pray and pray that I will not be deceived, for God to open my eyes and show me. But what if our children are separated from us? Yesterday I cried because it really hit me that I may not be able to protect them from it, that it will be forced on them. And I told them that it would be better for them to die than to accept it. But they are young. I do believe in my heart that my 10 and 5 yo understand. Since I have really started to see better the way our world is aligning with God's Word I have experienced much anxiety and panic. I say that I believe my children understand because I know that God speaks to my 5yo. In the midst of an anxiety(spiritual) attack, he began to pray with me and told me that God said to , "Be brave, listen to God and do what He says." But even if the older ones do understand, they are still just children. And what about my toddler?