We are called to serve the poor and people in need. - which is loving our neighbor. It sounds like you have not experienced a great deal of love from your neighbors, Suhar; it often fosters that kind of 'pull ourselves up by our bootstraps' mentality, which is contrary to the community-minded focus of Jesus and the gospel message. Communities serve one another and we, as Christians are called to model this approach, which is in direct opposition to the radically, individualistic, me first culture of post modern America. We should not be in the business of judging the actions of people who are in need. Instead, our love for others should be patterned after the Grace that God gives to us.
I believe Hell will be a place of radical individualism - Heaven will be a place where we depend on, and serve one another as one body. Ecclesiastes 4:1-8 is America and is Hell. Standing alone is not strength, it is weakness.