Abstinence/Waiting/Lust/Sin

[FredBotswana]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

 

[quietthinker]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

Look not to your sin nor to your pride in overcoming but look to Jesus; he has forgiven you, he will strengthen you, he will give you good judgement. Just like the Hebrews in the desert bitten by snakes; their healing came from looking outside themselves to the brass serpent Moses erected, a symbol of Jesus and his Grace.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

 

[PS95]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

Such a good question. I do hear your heart. I can only say that either way, your body will naturally release what's inside while asleep.
God knows that you desire a wife to love and share with, and not have to succumb to self-release. Keep trusting Him on that, but do you suppose that means that you can't ask someone out on a date to see if you like each other?
If you do that, pray and seek His counsel. I see no harm in that. Just ask Him to please guide your decisions.
In marriage, you need to truly like each other- the sex is great, but as time goes on the friendship and your commitment to God is the most important part. I will pray for you.

 

[Angelina]

Hi @FredBotswana, welcome to Christianity Board. Our library has some wonderful keys to help deal with daily struggles. Here is one from brother @bdavidc. Which will help understand some of those struggles. There is more information and help there, so feel free to look around. Welcome again.

Teaching - *The Voice You're Following Is Deciding Your Future: Lust vs Trust

The Voice You’re Following Is Deciding Your Future There are two voices that show up every day of your life. One is loud, urgent, and impatient. The other is steady, quiet, and sure. One says move now. The other says, "Trust Me." That first voice is the pull of the flesh. Scripture doesn’t...

www.christianityboard.com

 

[Behold]

Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens,

It seems that you are placing yourself in a situation where you can commit sexual impurity.
So, the first thing you need to do is obey this scriputure.

"FLEE Fornication"......Paul teaches.

How do you do that, in your case ?

You stop going to the place where you can engage in fornication.
Dont go there anymore.

Listen, when Strong Temptation is just on the other side of the closed door........what you do is not open the door.
You are NEVER to "find out if i can handle it"", because you can't.
Sexual drive is stronger then willpower, most of the time.

See, when the room is full of Snakes, and you dont want to be bitten by some Snakes, then dont go in the room, asking to be bitten.

FLEE THE ROOM.........FLEE THE SNAKES........FLEE THE FORNICATION....... = get away from the opportunity, as its impossible for most men to resist easy fornication..........so you dont try to resist it........you FLEE IT....... you dont go there.

 

[quietthinker]

It seems that you are placing yourself in a situation where you can commit sexual impurity.
So, the first thing you need to do is obey this scriputure.

"FLEE Fornication"......Paul teaches.

How do you do that, in your case ?

You stop going to the place where you can engage in fornication.
Dont go there anymore.

Listen, when Strong Temptation is just on the other side of the closed door........what you do is not open the door.
You are NEVER to "find out if i can handle it"", because you can't.
Sexual drive is stronger then willpower, most of the time.

See, when the room is full of Snakes, and you dont want to be bitten by some Snakes, then dont go in the room, asking to be bitten.

FLEE THE ROOM.........FLEE THE SNAKES........FLEE THE FORNICATION....... = get away from the opportunity, as its impossible for most men to resist easy fornication..........so you dont try to resist it........you FLEE IT....... you dont go there.

The do, do, do list goes on and on and on
I think you need to add to the list to fill the bucket!.....Ohhhh, it's never full?....never healed?
Could it be that the 'Israelites' insist on the medical kit in preference to looking at what Moses had erected and bid them to look?

 

[Behold]

I think you need to add to the list to fill the bucket!.....Ohhhh, it's never full?....never healed?

Why do you always post what sounds crazy?
And instead of doing that on this particular Thread......isn't it best to try to help this person who is having some issues?
Why dont you give your crazy speech a rest on this Thread. @quietthinker

 

[Angelina]

@FredBotswana. Here's another thread you may be interested in reading.

Growing In Grace - Crucify Your Old Man

I created this thread almost a year ago and It has been requested so I will post it here. It is a two Part series on crucifying your flesh. Enjoy. Crucify Your Old Man 1 of 2 When talking about the old man, I am referring to our old selfish ways and desires. A life subject to urges and actions...

www.christianityboard.com

 

[quietthinker]

Why do you always post what sounds crazy?
And instead of doing that on this particular Thread......isn't it best to try to help this person who is having some issues?
Why dont you give your crazy speech a rest on this Thread. @quietthinker

I guess many Israelites concluded it was crazy when Moses set up the brass serpent and bid the people look at it for healing.
Perhaps it was those who deemed themselves smart and refused to look, instead reaching for whatever they figured was a remedy, that found themselves dead?

 

[Br4nd0n]

Maybe fasting could be an option? Apparently it can rid the desire to a point. But i am not an expert on the subject. Prayers for you Brother.

 

[FredBotswana]

Look not to your sin nor to your pride in overcoming but look to Jesus; he has forgiven you, he will strengthen you, he will give you good judgement. Just like the Hebrews in the desert bitten by snakes; their healing came from looking outside themselves to the brass serpent Moses erected, a symbol of Jesus and his Grace.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 5:19-21: "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery... I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God

 

[FredBotswana]

Look not to your sin nor to your pride in overcoming but look to Jesus; he has forgiven you, he will strengthen you, he will give you good judgement. Just like the Hebrews in the desert bitten by snakes; their healing came from looking outside themselves to the brass serpent Moses erected, a symbol of Jesus and his Grace.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Its difficult because i keep repeating it

 

[FredBotswana]

Such a good question. I do hear your heart. I can only say that either way, your body will naturally release what's inside while asleep.
God knows that you desire a wife to love and share with, and not have to succumb to self-release. Keep trusting Him on that, but do you suppose that means that you can't ask someone out on a date to see if you like each other?
If you do that, pray and seek His counsel. I see no harm in that. Just ask Him to please guide your decisions.
In marriage, you need to truly like each other- the sex is great, but as time goes on the friendship and your commitment to God is the most important part. I will pray for you.

"God knows that you desire a wife to love and share with, and not have to succumb to self-release" - this is such a good statement, it speaks to my situation 100%. The other thing is i havent found someone that i like that i can ask on a date.

 

[Debp]

The other thing is i havent found someone that i like that i can ask on a date.

Are you putting yourself in activities where you can meet single Christians? Join some Bible studies, visit a few churches. If there are volunteer activities with your churches that's a good way to meet someone.

 

[Anchorite]

At rock bottom, when my life was completely destroyed, I told God, “Lord, I need a wife.”

I had been married once already, but she cheated on me repeatedly, so I divorced her, and was unmarried for decades, just had girlfriends and flings.

I started attending a Baptist church. Two years later, the pastor asked if I would teach a Sunday school class. I said I would. Then the pastor told me a certain woman, who I did not know, would be my assistant.

Within a very short time, we fell in love and got married. It lasted 21 years and was the most amazing and wonderful thing that ever happened to me. She was raised on a farm and was extremely intelligent, deeply devout, and did me good and not evil all the days of our life together. I will need an infinity of eternities to give God the praise He deserves for bringing us together. She died two years ago. I will never stop loving that woman.

So keep trusting God to bring you a woman who is perfect for you.

 

[PS95]

At rock bottom, when my life was completely destroyed, I told God, “Lord, I need a wife.”

I had been married once already, but she cheated on me repeatedly, so I divorced her, and was unmarried for decades, just had girlfriends and flings.

I started attending a Baptist church. Two years later, the pastor asked if I would teach a Sunday school class. I said I would. Then the pastor told me a certain woman, who I did not know, would be my assistant.

Within a very short time, we fell in love and got married. It lasted 21 years and was the most amazing and wonderful thing that ever happened to me. She was raised on a farm and was extremely intelligent, deeply devout, and did me good and not evil all the days of our life together. I will need an infinity of eternities to give God the praise He deserves for bringing us together. She died two years ago. I will never stop loving that woman.

So keep trusting God to bring you a woman who is perfect for you.

I didn't know you are a widower now, Anchorite. My condolences. She sounds like she was wonderful. What a blessing.

 

[PS95]

"God knows that you desire a wife to love and share with, and not have to succumb to self-release" - this is such a good statement, it speaks to my situation 100%. The other thing is i havent found someone that i like that i can ask on a date.

Hang in there, buddy! My prayer for a spouse was answered quickly.- in one week- I had been widowed at a very young age. I've been married now for 36 years and could not be happier. I can just tell you that when God chooses your mate- you will never regret it.
Consider some of Debp's suggestions- but foremost keep praying about it.

 

[FredBotswana]

At rock bottom, when my life was completely destroyed, I told God, “Lord, I need a wife.”

I had been married once already, but she cheated on me repeatedly, so I divorced her, and was unmarried for decades, just had girlfriends and flings.

I started attending a Baptist church. Two years later, the pastor asked if I would teach a Sunday school class. I said I would. Then the pastor told me a certain woman, who I did not know, would be my assistant.

Within a very short time, we fell in love and got married. It lasted 21 years and was the most amazing and wonderful thing that ever happened to me. She was raised on a farm and was extremely intelligent, deeply devout, and did me good and not evil all the days of our life together. I will need an infinity of eternities to give God the praise He deserves for bringing us together. She died two years ago. I will never stop loving that woman.

So keep trusting God to bring you a woman who is perfect for you.

Thank you for thr advise-if there is something i need is a wife in my life, being able to celibate for up to 8 months and hoping to meet "'that woman"is a testament that should i have her then i will never fall into that sexual sin, ever. I have prayed and fasted, but i trust God will make it happen.

 

[FredBotswana]

Hang in there, buddy! My prayer for a spouse was answered quickly.- in one week- I had been widowed at a very young age. I've been married now for 36 years and could not be happier. I can just tell you that when God chooses your mate- you will never regret it.
Consider some of Debp's suggestions- but foremost keep praying about it.

Thank you-I am hoping God will answer my prayer anytime, i am truelly willing to get out of this, which i succumb to because of months of absitinence

 

[PS95]

Thank you-I am hoping God will answer my prayer anytime, i am truelly willing to get out of this, which i succumb to because of months of absitinence

Paul advised women to marry rather than burn with passion.
First Corinthians 7:8–9 says, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

I still think that unless you have an agreement with God that you will never date anyone unless He provides the date- to date and always pray for His guidance for a wife, as you do. Be sure to keep sex out of the equation until you do marry.
Do you attend a church there? Do you engage in the various outreaches/ministries the church has? Do they have any home bible studies or classes etc? Are there many women your age in your church?
I'm not totally clear on any sort of pact you have made with God? If you told him you wont date anyone unless He shows you someone..? have you prayed anything specific like that?
if so - just continue to wait on Him. His timing isn't ours.