Hi everyone,I am new here well I did look around before but I was not too good with the computer and had to get my best friend to help me sign up!! I think I have the hand of this now but any help with this computer type stuff would be greatI came to look online here because I need advice. I come from a Christian family and have been involved in my church and activities all my life. We moved a year ago so it was really nice to be able to settle into a new place with the lord by my side and a welcoming community of other christians.Im 16 soon and I started taking part in the churches youth group as soon as I got here. My parents like me to be actively involved and its a big family trhing for us. The lord keeping us close and all.I am not really sure how to go about asking this. Its not something I was like thinking there is anyone I can ask at my new church without seeming like a bad christian and I would not like my parents to think I was a sinner.I have been raised to work hard and help others and live by the bible.IN my new youth group and also in my bible study group is the same leader. He is born and raised here and he is a really great guy. He works really hard to share and teach and I hope that I can gain the confidence with the help of the lord to be like him. I have a problem though he has invited me for private bible study and witht he encouragement of my family and do not think I was not enthusiastic I was so rapt when he asked me. Its just things he is asking me to do, well I have been praying and praying. I just want to do what the lord requires of me and I want to be a good daughter, a good rolemodel to my little brother and a good student. So I just don't know what to do. I know the bible tells us its not always easy. Am I been a bad christian? Do I just need to keep on doing the teachings of the lord and not complain?PLease help.Confused
Advice for a new member here. Thank y'all
- Thread starter Carissa001
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Hi Carissa001,I am not sure what your asking about. Doing the studying or something else?What things is he asking you to do. Now I get the feeling this could be a WUM thing.Could you go into more detail and let us know how much you have learnt over the years about being all the things you are trying to be.Faithful.
I am also confused about the nature of your question.What is he asking you to do? As a general rule however, I do not think it's a good idea for those of the opposite sex to engage in "private" anything - unless you are marriage minded and even then, having a chaperone is a good idea.
I don't think I was clear about my studies. I have been blessed in some ways but I am not the brightest student. I always make every effort I can though, it just takes me longer.Bible study is a different story. I have my whole family to help. Been offered the private study at church was a great opportunity to also know who my mother things is a very nice family. Whomn we can socialise with. She really likes the parents too.Bible study with him is charpharoned by his dad. He is also a good Christian man and confirms his sons teachings to me. Some suggestions to aid my learning make me feel like a guilty person and a bad christian for feeling like this. I am only 15 still and I did not realise well what it would be like to have to like you know.I just feel embrassed but these are 2 righteous men and I dont know. I think I should confess my feelings to them and ask them to pray moire with me???
(Carissa001;22734)
I don't think I was clear about my studies. I have been blessed in some ways but I am not the brightest student. I always make every effort I can though, it just takes me longer.Bible study is a different story. I have my whole family to help. Been offered the private study at church was a great opportunity to also know who my mother things is a very nice family. Whomn we can socialise with. She really likes the parents too.Bible study with him is charpharoned by his dad. He is also a good Christian man and confirms his sons teachings to me. Some suggestions to aid my learning make me feel like a guilty person and a bad christian for feeling like this. I am only 15 still and I did not realise well what it would be like to have to like you know.I just feel embrassed but these are 2 righteous men and I dont know. I think I should confess my feelings to them and ask them to pray moire with me???
What suggestions to aid your learning make you feel like a guilty and bad christian? Could you give an example?
I don't think I was clear about my studies. I have been blessed in some ways but I am not the brightest student. I always make every effort I can though, it just takes me longer.Bible study is a different story. I have my whole family to help. Been offered the private study at church was a great opportunity to also know who my mother things is a very nice family. Whomn we can socialise with. She really likes the parents too.Bible study with him is charpharoned by his dad. He is also a good Christian man and confirms his sons teachings to me. Some suggestions to aid my learning make me feel like a guilty person and a bad christian for feeling like this. I am only 15 still and I did not realise well what it would be like to have to like you know.I just feel embrassed but these are 2 righteous men and I dont know. I think I should confess my feelings to them and ask them to pray moire with me???
What suggestions to aid your learning make you feel like a guilty and bad christian? Could you give an example?
Teachings about the sins of my body and stuff I dont really like to talk about it. Im getting bad dreams.
(Carissa001;22737)
Teachings about the sins of my body and stuff I dont really like to talk about it. Im getting bad dreams.
Well, since you are 15 and a girl, perhaps this sort of bible study would be obetter with a mature woman of faith, rather than a young man and his father? I can understand why you'd be uncomfortable. I'm sorry you are getting bad dreams. Is it because you are worried about displeasing God? God loves you so very much - even when we sin, if we repent, He totally forgives us. Just like your parents have no doubt forgiven you all of your life for many mistakes, and they still love you as their dear child, God's mercy is FAR beyond anything you could imagine, and He loves you as His child. The best advice I can give you is try your best - ask the Holy Spirit to help you - avoid things that cause temptations & ask forgivness when you screw up. If you don't want to continue with the Bible study tell your parents. A Bible study should be a positive thing - not a negative one. It should NOT cause bad dreams. I'm going to say a prayer for you. I still don't entirely understand your situation, but God does. God bless you.
Teachings about the sins of my body and stuff I dont really like to talk about it. Im getting bad dreams.
Well, since you are 15 and a girl, perhaps this sort of bible study would be obetter with a mature woman of faith, rather than a young man and his father? I can understand why you'd be uncomfortable. I'm sorry you are getting bad dreams. Is it because you are worried about displeasing God? God loves you so very much - even when we sin, if we repent, He totally forgives us. Just like your parents have no doubt forgiven you all of your life for many mistakes, and they still love you as their dear child, God's mercy is FAR beyond anything you could imagine, and He loves you as His child. The best advice I can give you is try your best - ask the Holy Spirit to help you - avoid things that cause temptations & ask forgivness when you screw up. If you don't want to continue with the Bible study tell your parents. A Bible study should be a positive thing - not a negative one. It should NOT cause bad dreams. I'm going to say a prayer for you. I still don't entirely understand your situation, but God does. God bless you.
I argree you need a female teacher or be in a class Rm you can even ask questions here on other sites. I would just tell your parents you are not comfortable talking certain things with them
Is it ok to be told that things we learn during prayer and certain aspects of service to the lord should not be spoken of?I am asking the holy spirit for help. I am almost in tears I dont know what to do. I can not even explain to my best friend or my parents. Please dont leave me here with no answers. I am not strong enough to understand if I am been led by satan with my thoughts into evil or if I am just not trying hard enough.Please forgive me lord
(Carissa001;22758)
Is it ok to be told that things we learn during prayer and certain aspects of service to the lord should not be spoken of?I am asking the holy spirit for help. I am almost in tears I dont know what to do. I can not even explain to my best friend or my parents. Please dont leave me here with no answers. I am not strong enough to understand if I am been led by satan with my thoughts into evil or if I am just not trying hard enough.Please forgive me lord
NO NO NO - it is NOT ok to be told that certain things you learn or certain aspects of service should not be spoken of. No adult should tell you to keep "secrets." There must be someone in your life you can talk about this with? If not a good friend, what about a trusted woman from your church? (Pastor's wife?) Otherwise, I beg you.. please talk to your mother. If you can't talk to her directly, write her a letter and tell her specifically what is going on. You do not need to bear this heavy burden. If someone has hurt you, it is NOT your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. It is difficult to know just what you are talking about, but obviously you are troubled so PLEASE talk to someone.
Is it ok to be told that things we learn during prayer and certain aspects of service to the lord should not be spoken of?I am asking the holy spirit for help. I am almost in tears I dont know what to do. I can not even explain to my best friend or my parents. Please dont leave me here with no answers. I am not strong enough to understand if I am been led by satan with my thoughts into evil or if I am just not trying hard enough.Please forgive me lord
NO NO NO - it is NOT ok to be told that certain things you learn or certain aspects of service should not be spoken of. No adult should tell you to keep "secrets." There must be someone in your life you can talk about this with? If not a good friend, what about a trusted woman from your church? (Pastor's wife?) Otherwise, I beg you.. please talk to your mother. If you can't talk to her directly, write her a letter and tell her specifically what is going on. You do not need to bear this heavy burden. If someone has hurt you, it is NOT your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. It is difficult to know just what you are talking about, but obviously you are troubled so PLEASE talk to someone.
hmm...From what you have spoken, this sounds a bit like two men trying to persuade,use trickery, and your ignorance of the faith to try to make you feel guilty (like, you are not a good Christian, or, you have evil sexual thoughts, you are unclean, etc. to trying to make you feel guilty) and lead you to do immoral and forbidden things with them.If you feel uncomfortable, don't go to their house. It is not good that a girl goes alone into the house of two men who sounds like they are trying to lure you into something. Because if something happens, a single girl would be powerless against two men.If you don't want to make others think that you are a bad Christian and don't mind having a private lesson with him. Then invite him to your house when your parents are present to avoid him doing bad things to you. If he says that a 'private' lesson can only be 'in his house' or when there is 'no one else/ no other people present'. Then this guy is no good! Flee from his evil intentions!If they threaten you, phone the police.If you feel bad and upset to mention this issue to people in your church or your parents, then talk to someone else who you feel is a good woman in the faith (From looking at her) in another nearby church about this issue. Then listen to her advice and accept her help.
hmm...From what you have spoken, this sounds a bit like two men trying to persuade,use trickery, and your ignorance of the faith to try to make you feel guilty (like, you are not a good Christian, or, you have evil sexual thoughts, you are unclean, etc. to trying to make you feel guilty) and lead you to do immoral and forbidden things with them.If you feel uncomfortable, don't go to their house. It is not good that a girl goes alone into the house of two men who sounds like they are trying to lure you into something. Because if something happens, a single girl would be powerless against two men.If you don't want to make others think that you are a bad Christian and don't mind having a private lesson with him. Then invite him to your house when your parents are present to avoid him doing bad things to you. If he says that a 'private' lesson can only be 'in his house' or when there is 'no one else/ no other people present'. Then this guy is no good! Flee from his evil intentions!If they threaten you, phone the police.OR, IF THIS IS THE NOT THE CASE, THEN FROM ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE:If you feel bad and upset about yourself, maybe you desire him very much and cannot keep away forbidden and desirous thoughts about him and you, and you don't want to mention this issue to people in your church or your parents. Then talk to someone else who you feel is a good woman in the faith in another nearby church about this issue. Then listen to her advice and accept her help.
I still do not understand. I wanted to do the right thing. They are from a good family. I thought I did not have a choice but to do the things I was asked to do.I don't know if I can write to mom. I think she would pray with me but you don't know how much she likes thisf amily. I know a few other girls in my youth group but none of them I am really close with yet.Am I evil? I don't know what to do. I have been praying in my room over and over asking the Lord to guide me as surely I know I am lost. I am listening to what he tells me but I am not hearing him. I just keep praying to focus only on him and exclude all the things that have happened.I wish I was back home. I wish we never moved. I am sinning even now for wishing my parents had not made us go. That was my home, my church, my best friend.I am not a good christian
I wish i could help you Carissa, but i live in Australia, and i have no money to travel to your place, plus my parents wont allow that though they've got the money
The only advice i can give you is to ask a good Christian woman in another nearby church for comfort and for help and advice on what to do.P.S. Trust yourself on what you think is good and right, because if you are a Christian, God will guide you. Never ever trust on what other people tell you is right, because they are not you, and you know better than they what is better for you.
(Carissa001;22773)
I still do not understand. I wanted to do the right thing. They are from a good family. I thought I did not have a choice but to do the things I was asked to do.I don't know if I can write to mom. I think she would pray with me but you don't know how much she likes thisf amily. I know a few other girls in my youth group but none of them I am really close with yet.Am I evil? I don't know what to do. I have been praying in my room over and over asking the Lord to guide me as surely I know I am lost. I am listening to what he tells me but I am not hearing him. I just keep praying to focus only on him and exclude all the things that have happened.I wish I was back home. I wish we never moved. I am sinning even now for wishing my parents had not made us go. That was my home, my church, my best friend.I am not a good christian
Your Mom may like this family, but if they've hurt you in some way, I am certain she would want to know. If you don't feel there is anyone you can talk to at your new home in your new church, could you call someone from your old church (Pastor? Best friend?) and explain what's going on? And it's not a sin to wish you were back in your old home with your old friends. For a 15 year old girl especially, that's totally normal. What would make you think it's a sin? Again, I'm not really certain what's going on with you. You've given hints, but I could be totally misinterpreting what you're talking about. So I'm going to say this because I'd rather error on the side of caution and it's important - if it doesn't apply to your situation please forgive me and ignore it:If they have encouraged you to do anything that involved taking off your clothes or if they've taken off their clothes - if they've asked you to do anything sexual at all (even if they didn't call it that) - ANYTHING - you MUST tell someone. If you can't tell your family - tell a teacher at school - tell a friend - tell a friend's mother OR, call the police and tell them you need help and don't know where to turn. I don't care if they are respected members of your church or your parents really like them or whatever. No one and I mean NO ONE at all has the right to hurt you that way. It is not your fault and you CAN make it stop - but you have to speak up and tell someone. I promise you it is what Jesus would want you to do. I'm praying for you.
ray4:
I still do not understand. I wanted to do the right thing. They are from a good family. I thought I did not have a choice but to do the things I was asked to do.I don't know if I can write to mom. I think she would pray with me but you don't know how much she likes thisf amily. I know a few other girls in my youth group but none of them I am really close with yet.Am I evil? I don't know what to do. I have been praying in my room over and over asking the Lord to guide me as surely I know I am lost. I am listening to what he tells me but I am not hearing him. I just keep praying to focus only on him and exclude all the things that have happened.I wish I was back home. I wish we never moved. I am sinning even now for wishing my parents had not made us go. That was my home, my church, my best friend.I am not a good christian
Your Mom may like this family, but if they've hurt you in some way, I am certain she would want to know. If you don't feel there is anyone you can talk to at your new home in your new church, could you call someone from your old church (Pastor? Best friend?) and explain what's going on? And it's not a sin to wish you were back in your old home with your old friends. For a 15 year old girl especially, that's totally normal. What would make you think it's a sin? Again, I'm not really certain what's going on with you. You've given hints, but I could be totally misinterpreting what you're talking about. So I'm going to say this because I'd rather error on the side of caution and it's important - if it doesn't apply to your situation please forgive me and ignore it:If they have encouraged you to do anything that involved taking off your clothes or if they've taken off their clothes - if they've asked you to do anything sexual at all (even if they didn't call it that) - ANYTHING - you MUST tell someone. If you can't tell your family - tell a teacher at school - tell a friend - tell a friend's mother OR, call the police and tell them you need help and don't know where to turn. I don't care if they are respected members of your church or your parents really like them or whatever. No one and I mean NO ONE at all has the right to hurt you that way. It is not your fault and you CAN make it stop - but you have to speak up and tell someone. I promise you it is what Jesus would want you to do. I'm praying for you.
ray4:In this day and age, it really isn't a smart idea to do anything...private...with somebody like this, even if he is somebody from your church. Especially with you being 16 soon. I'd tread lightly with the situation.You say he's a great guy, and maybe he really is, but I think we have all seen enough of the news to know all those people that seem nice enough turn out to sick people. Just be careful.
I do not want to cause any trouble. My family, my little briother how would they feel to know this. It didnt feel right then but I was scared not to do what they asked me. I told you I am not blessed really with been very smart I wanted to to the right thing. You are all telling me the same thing they did, let the Lord guide me. Do it with god in your mind???Are they infested with satan?AM I NOW???I do not want anyone to know when I can not even say here what must be evil I have done. HOW COULD I HAVE KNOW THEY WERE NOT MEN OF GOD?They went to church? They are respected?I can only feel shame and fear. Will I be forgiven what do I say to God but "I am so so sorry father
"I am also scared of another womans thing. I dont understand much about it. It is not things we speak about at home and stuff.I just swore in my mind. I was never like this. I never questioned I followed my church, obayed my parents and listened to my lord.
God is not angry with you for being put in a bad situation he will forgive you as soon as you ask the worst thing you can do is let the their evil ways continue. Please get some help to get away from these evil people they do not deserve your concern for them. I know its hard but God would not want you to keep quite about this so that it continues with you or the next person.
(Carissa001;22867)
I do not want to cause any trouble. My family, my little briother how would they feel to know this. It didnt feel right then but I was scared not to do what they asked me. I told you I am not blessed really with been very smart I wanted to to the right thing. You are all telling me the same thing they did, let the Lord guide me. Do it with god in your mind???Are they infested with satan?AM I NOW???I do not want anyone to know when I can not even say here what must be evil I have done. HOW COULD I HAVE KNOW THEY WERE NOT MEN OF GOD?They went to church? They are respected?I can only feel shame and fear. Will I be forgiven what do I say to God but "I am so so sorry father
"I am also scared of another womans thing. I dont understand much about it. It is not things we speak about at home and stuff.I just swore in my mind. I was never like this. I never questioned I followed my church, obayed my parents and listened to my lord.
Tell your Mom. If you can't find the words, ask her to read this thread on the computer. You have nothing to ask forgiveness for. You were the victim.
I do not want to cause any trouble. My family, my little briother how would they feel to know this. It didnt feel right then but I was scared not to do what they asked me. I told you I am not blessed really with been very smart I wanted to to the right thing. You are all telling me the same thing they did, let the Lord guide me. Do it with god in your mind???Are they infested with satan?AM I NOW???I do not want anyone to know when I can not even say here what must be evil I have done. HOW COULD I HAVE KNOW THEY WERE NOT MEN OF GOD?They went to church? They are respected?I can only feel shame and fear. Will I be forgiven what do I say to God but "I am so so sorry father
Tell your Mom. If you can't find the words, ask her to read this thread on the computer. You have nothing to ask forgiveness for. You were the victim.
I still don't know. IM still worried about the womens things. I still think no matter what I have brought this shame on my family. I will never have the life I wished for now. I wanted to graduate and get married and have a family.Now I am someone who has caused such evil to happen. I am thinking maybe I am cursed. I should be sleeping but I can not. I am thinking I should just leave and not bring my curse on the people I love so deeply.Thank the Lord that this board is here. I was not sure about using the internet but I have been reading around on here and there are so very smart people, not like me. You are good people I hope I dont infect any of you.I am going to pray for God to tell me what to do. I can not sleep or eat so I will keep praying. I am not supposed to leave my laptop on all the time but dad put a protection blanket thing on the internet and christian sites are ok!!!!
