(maark;27161)
so what can i do or pray
I had a long post to send you with plenty of good info and a lot of verses for you to meditate on that I believe would help you in your determination to return to the Lord, but unfortunately, it would not post. So this is my 2nd try, and well worth it if it is a help.First, let me confess that I too was once backsld. But I have returned to the God of my salvation and you can too. It is not easy, it is not fun, it is not without trials and temptations, but it is WELL WORTH all your effort.The verses you mentioned in Hebrews also haunted me as I found my way back but I can tell you the enemy will keep drawing you there as long as you let his condemnation stay as your main source of contact with the Word. There are plenty of reassuring verses that you can focus on instead but you must remain aware that is not God that condemns us but our own consciences, powered by our guilt and shame and the enemy's reinforcing our condemning thoughts. God has always called out to His backslidden children and why? So He can condemn us? Hardly.It is very important to remember both in your present state and in the future, that it is God Who saves us and went to the pain of having Jesus assure our hearts that we are written in the palm of God's hand, the sheep of His pasture and so on, and not anything we have or have not done on our own. There are those who would remind us that once backslidden we on our own, but that is not true, and it is UNSCRIPTUAL to think or to say. It is up to us to fight the good fight of faith, as Paul said, and even more important as we struggle with our consciences. Remember that it is written that "If our heart condemns us, He is greater than our hearts." (I John 3:20) Here are some verses you might want to meditate on when you are feeling "depressed", or more like it, "oppressed" by either conscience or the enemy's taunts:John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (have you ever stopped believing in Him? I think not. Are you part of the world? Of course you are)Romans 8:38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Are you "present"? Were you "created", a new man at salvation? Then even you cannot separate yourself from the love of God, can you?) Romans 5:9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. (Can this possibly mean that only if we "go and sin no more" we are justified and saved from wrath? If so, then NO ONE living is saved, for "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" and that is not just before we first repented or else all else He has written is questionable. You yourself know that all Christians occasionally miss the mark (sin) so then, how can any be saved if you can't?) Titus 3:7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. (In both the KJV and the NKJV, the words "should be" are additions of the translators and not in the original text, so this verse should by rights read "That being justified by His grace, we (are) made heirs according to the hope of eternal life". You see, even Bible translators have trouble believing that God is greater than anything else, our consciences included. So it is with us once backslidden ones, and so it is that we have to fight the fight of faith even more diligently and with more difficulty than those of His children who either think they have not, or, perhaps, actually have not backslidden from the faith even once.)I pray for you, my suffering brother, that you will be restored to the joy of His salvation, that you will see with the rest of us returned ones that it is not only possible by the grace and mercy of God to return, but that He actually and truly does desire our return even more than we do. May the God of our salvation convince you that you are loved and desired by Him. May the joy of His salvation be returned to you as your mind is stayed on Him.Please let me know you have read this and also if there is anything I can do to encourage you as you fight this good fight of faith.