I have a lot of strategies for avoiding bad arguments. But in the times when they all fail, I feel resentment. Im not sure I've forgiven who I need to forgive. I pray for then but its not from the heart. I don't actually wish them well. I hope the Lord helps me.
I believe the Lord is, and will continue to, help you.
This is another of those posts that seem to me to be the heart of the matter.
For me, the best way to avoid an argument is to stop responding. To give my POV, or share Scripture, and then walk away.
I think like this. If there is a spiritual leading to respond, I feel and think a certain way generally speaking. If I'm responding because something in my flesh has been triggered, I have a very different feeling and mindset.
Resentments, unforgiveness, these are of course fleshy. I believe the true you, the born again you, does in fact forgive others, does in fact wish them well. That is, when it's not being shoved aside by fleshy reactions.
I try my best to know myself, so that I can tell when something is coming from the Spirit, and when it is from the flesh. If Spirit, then I am to share, but if flesh, then I am to just shut up.
I routinely find myself writing then deleting, or posting then deleting, to remove the fleshy parts. At the end of the day, what I really want to do is to give a gift.
I don't have many illusions about myself. Aside from Jesus Christ, I'm a wretch, and I know it. Unforgiveness implies I think I'm better - the lesser is blessed by the greater - but I'm not any better, and most likely worse.
I don't believe we should define ourselves according to how we perceive ourselves, but we need to begin with what God says about us. He says that we have been made new, and that we are growing into maturity.
I want to give a gift in every post I make. Sometimes that takes some searching. I feel like I'm rambling, I hope I'm giving that gift!
Much love!