Being Mad At God

[quietthinker]

I have that eye contact problem too. I never understood why. but I did note that other people notice it.

But the other day I realized I do the no eye contact so I can’t catch the brief but awful flashes of…hatred and anger that flare in the eyes of the relative who raised me. It feels…reptilian almost. I’ve seen awful things in peoples eyes. You catch it and then it’s quickly covered by them and it feels yucky and like something I want to avoid seeing. It looks so dark and untruthful and….yeah, reptilian.

I took the no eye contact thing, which is a…defense mechanism learned in childhood, out into the world. I applied it to everyone. I guess since my own relative was not safe for me my inner child assumed no one was?

Using your eyes like a laser in these circumstances changes the dynamic. It neutralises the intimidation, perceived or otherwise.

 

[Michiah-Imla]

Using your eyes like a laser in these circumstances changes the dynamic.

It neutralises the intimidation, perceived or otherwise.

Sounds like you’re teaching folks to be bold?

Not a quality a Christian should have in non Bible related circumstances.

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering” (Colossians 3:12)

I say use your eyes in a soft gentle manner when facing people.

 

[quietthinker]

Sounds like you’re teaching folks to be bold?

Not a quality a Christian should have in non Bible related circumstances.

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering” (Colossians 3:12)

I say use your eyes in a soft gentle manner when facing people.

Bold is the word M-I. No limp wet dishcloths necessary.
Be mindful to join the dots appropriately!

 

[stunnedbygrace]

Using your eyes like a laser in these circumstances changes the dynamic. It neutralises the intimidation, perceived or otherwise.

I don’t think it would in this instance…
I’ve read a lot about the dynamic I’m dealing with concerning this person. They say to use a technique called grey rock (I won’t bore you with the explanation) and to also show no emotion at all around the person. They also counsel to set firm boundaries and stick to them when they try to cross those boundaries. Those techniques have finally worked to help my situation when decades worth of talking, reasoning and trying to connect have failed miserably. Concerning eye contact, I’m pretty sure it would work against me. I’d be willing to try it, but I don’t think it will help.