Taking things strictly literally without looking at the big picture can have its drawbacks, for example Jesus said-
"If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off...And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. (Mark 9:43-47)
So if a bloke has a lust problem should he go to work on himself with a pair of garden shears?
We know when something is literal vs. metaphorical. God says we are to love others as we love ourselves. Obviously we would not want to harm another person physically because the Scriptures are clear that we are to turn the other cheek, and do good unto our enemies when evil is done against us. Scripture has to give a testimony somewhere else to support a claim, too. I have found Christians who completely IGNORE all of Matthew 5:28-30 all because they read the words you describe by our Lord as being a metaphor. But even in our culture we use metaphorical words and phrases mingled in with literal talk all the time. So of course they can just thrown down the metaphor card any time they don't like something God has said.
You said:My point is that if we take things too literally it gives us no elbow room to see things in context, so rightly or wrongly I tend to think water-baptism is not such a big deal as some people think,
But what if baptism is a big deal with God whereby it is a thing that is a part of our faith? What if our rejection of the command on water baptism is enough to keep us out of God's kingdom because of our unbelief in His Word? Granted, I am not saying that is going to happen for sure. Maybe God will not hold a believer's rejection of water baptism against them. But what if God will hold it against them? You can play games with your soul if you like, but I consider my life too precious to play games with it. I want to do all of what the Lord commands of me in this life by faith because the just live by faith according to Scripture. Those who are justified by faith are the ones who have peace with God.
Look around you.
Every Christian today is seeking to not obey God in some way.
They are making excuses. They don't want to all obey Him.
Some may be clever at making it appear they are for holy living but listen careful to their words and they will double speak in that they also believe one can sin and still be saved. For Christians today who appear for holy living have also said to me that a believer can commit suicide and be saved. Christians who appear to be for holy living have said you can take the mark of the beast and be saved. Christians today who appear to be for holy living have also said that if a believer goes prodigal (backslides) into a lifestyle of sin, they are still saved.
Others just hold to a wrong belief on sin and salvation that naturally will lead them and others to treat God's grace as a license to sin (Even though again they appear to be for doing good). They say stupid things like how they cannot sin ever again [even while they do sin] according to a false interpretation on 1 John 3:10.
My point here is we are in a spiritual wasteland of darkness where Christians do not really feel the need to follow Jesus because they think that is separate from salvation.
You said:for example there are verses that the holy spirit can descend on people even if they haven't been water-baptised.
But if people WANT to be water-baptised because it'll strengthen their faith, that's fine of course..
If you studied the Bible for any length of time you will realize that there are truths in the Bible that appear to be contradictory but they are not.
The Trinity is that the Lord our God is one God, and yet they are three distinct persons.
One can fall into the error of either Tritheism on one end of the spectrum, or they can fall into the error of Modalism (on the other end of the spectrum). There are pieces of Scripture that appear to teach Tritheism (three separate gods) (See: Ephesians 4:4-6), and there is a verse that sort of sounds like Modalism (that God just puts on a mode or mask of the three different persons and they are not distinct persons who are all one God) (See: 1 John 5:7 in the King James Bible here). But both of these extreme positions are an error. So we have to rightly divide and realize that both verses are true once they are put into their own proper perspective. Both God being three distinct persons and yet He is one God is hard for many to grasp; But the Bible teaches the Trinity (or Godhead).
Meaning, on the point you made with water baptism vs. the Spirit coming upon those without water baptism: Well, one is not the exclusive truth at the expense of the other. Both are true.
In other words, a person can die on their deathbed and be saved by just believing in the name of Jesus alone (John 1:12). Even the thief on the cross was saved without being water baptized. Yet, if they were to live out their faith, then they would have to obey the faith and do those things that God tells them to do. By faith... Noah prepared an ark to the saving of his house (Hebrews 11:7).
The Bible teaches we are first saved by God's grace without works in our INITIAL SALVATION (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Groups like the church of Christ and the Catholic church are wrong for teaching we need to first be water baptized to be INITIALLY saved.
For we do cases in the Bible when the Gentile believers were baptized into the Spirit before they were water baptized (Acts of the Apostles 10:34-48) (Acts of the Apostles 19:1-7). Even water baptism did not bring the Spirit in one case (Acts of the Apostles 8:9-25). Granted, this most likely could have been because Simon the sorcerer needed to be weeded out amongst the group. But the point here I see is that with the Gentiles: Water baptism is not the trigger or point of contact of faith for the Spirit to come. Believers are saved by God's grace without works INITIALLY. No water baptism is needed for us to be INITIALLY saved and or to have the Spirit. Granted, there are other cases we see the Jew being baptized along with repentance. But the Jew already believed in GOD. So they needed to get their heart right with the LORD in coming back because many of them rejected their own Messiah. But even with the jailor and his household, we learn that Paul water baptized them after they believed. This baptism was not done to INITIALLY save them, but it was simply their continuing in the faith as a part of following God's instructions. After they were saved initially by believing, they were water baptized.
Matthew 28:19 sounds like we are to baptize others by the Lord Jesus Himself. Sure, one could read it metaphorically as talking about how we are to immerse (baptize) others into the teachings of Jesus. But where else does Scripture refer to this? Also, what if one is wrong? What if Jesus did really mean to simply water baptize? Well, we do see the apostles (even Paul) water baptize others. So this gives weight that they understood that they were to water baptize. To say that they misunderstood Jesus and God was just operating in their life anyways seems inconsistent. Especially when Jesus said this:
“He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.” (Matthew 10:40).
So when people were being baptized by the apostles, they were in essence receiving Jesus. To claim that the apostles were in error when no Bible verse says that is to write one's own hidden narrative that does not exist in the Bible. Such a thing is not correct because we follow what is written in God's Word and not our own imaginations. There is no clear verse or passage that says that water baptism in the name of Jesus has ended. Thus, if that is the case, then we must conclude that water baptism in the name of Jesus is something we must do.
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