Explaining craziness to the sane

[Lifelong_sinner]

Hello all. Have you ever seen someone doing something bizarre? Or crazy? And you cant seem to figure out why?? Lets reverse that for a minute. Why cant others understand my craziness? Why doesnt my nonsensical thinking make sense?

i get that we all have our unusual quirks, thats just part of being human. But i do try to understand how so many can seem to get a handle on things and not let them spiral out of control.

Many years ago, i had taken more “medicine” than i probably should, i was still learning how this particular medicine worked. My folks had been on me for a good while about my medicine “habit”. When this particular incident happened, they tried to call 9 one one for me, but i stopped them, somehow. And still to this day, they get upset if i even take a tylenol.

i wish that every non-addict could understand the overwhelming emotions addicts go through. I’m not sure of any good comparison i can give. All i know is that when the craving hits, its the most intense state your mind and body can experience. Its just so much easier to feed it rather than fight it. Ok im done venting. Im just worried how next week is getting closer.

 

[APAK]

Next week is another week like all of them. The big difference next week is that it is very personal to you and where the truth you keep bottled inside is revealed to a stranger, on Monday. You and your body are straining I imagine to stay clean of medication that can eventually destroy you. If I'm wrong then I apologize before-hand. And at the same time you might be wondering how this pastor may look upon you and your situation. I would not worry about him, I would be concerned that one side of you might want to sneak out and avoid him...this is most probably the wrong choice as you know.

If he can be a tool to your recovery LS then he a blessing indeed. I would take his advice even if it is a tough talk you might not want to hear. Hang in there mate and pray to God who loves you, and to give you strength and patience to overcome this major issue/concern of yours. You cannot fix this problem successfully yourself if you are still in 'deep.'

Next week is around the corner. Meet it with gladness and strong hope. I hope you can share some positive news next week after this meeting.

Bless you.....you are in better company than you think..and stick to the plan

 

[Lifelong_sinner]

I would be concerned that one side of you might want to sneak out and avoid him...this is most probably the wrong choice as you know.

Bless you.....you are in better company than you think..and stick to the plan

how odd for you to say that, as its true. There is a part of me that says “hey you dont have to tell him everything, this’ll blow over quickly.”

part of me is glad i am doing this, the other side is trying to get everything it can inside of me before its gone.

if this is the spiritual battle we read about, how do you have any fight in you? How can you not succumb to the evil side? I wish i knew how you do it.

 

[APAK]

how odd for you to say that, as its true. There is a part of me that says “hey you dont have to tell him everything, this’ll blow over quickly.”

part of me is glad i am doing this, the other side is trying to get everything it can inside of me before its gone.

if this is the spiritual battle we read about, how do you have any fight in you? How can you not succumb to the evil side? I wish i knew how you do it.

LS, I would strongly suggest to take time every day to pray to God in Christ for his protection and to cure you of you lingering addiction. Get with others that love you. It is essential no to the listen to self as much with emotion - no feeling sorry for self. Get into other habits and pastimes that you can measure some progress in. Change your rhythm in life activities. Try to do other things that not only benefit you but others as well, like giving of yourself. Do a kind act every week that comes from the heart . And do not be alone so much and dwell on the past. Look to a positive future.

Now I say all this because you need to be happier with yourself these days. I would take all this advice if I were in your shoes LS, gladly. I used to be down periodically in my past, maybe not so much as you. God did lift me out of these messes over time. IT really works.

Bless you LS and let me know of your encounters and with the advice that you will get from others....I'm interested LS

 

[Lambano]

how odd for you to say that, as its true. There is a part of me that says “hey you dont have to tell him everything, this’ll blow over quickly.”

part of me is glad i am doing this, the other side is trying to get everything it can inside of me before its gone.

if this is the spiritual battle we read about, how do you have any fight in you? How can you not succumb to the evil side? I wish i knew how you do it.

The lines from two songs were running through my head the last couple of weeks; you can see 'em in my profile history.

The first was from Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young:

"Find the cost of freedom"

The second was from Twila Paris, about Jesus's people living just as He died,

"Willing to pay the price"

I can't say that I've been through your struggle, but I've seen the damage these prisons of addictions can do. From my hoarder friend who lives amid piles of rubbish to my earthy Italian neighbor lady who would go from doctor to doctor to get oxycontin prescriptions for her husband to a neighbor in Florida whose wife snorted their family life up her nose to an alcoholic uncle who died younger than I am now to my mother whose cigarette addiction killed her much too slowly...

I think you're finding out the cost of freedom.

That you're willing to pay the price makes me respect the hell out of you. You have my prayers, and let me know if I can support you in other ways.

[Postscript]
There are others on this board who have testified to their own addictions. They may be able to relate to your struggle better than I can.

 

[APAK]

The lines from two songs were running through my head the last couple of weeks; you can see 'em in my profile history.

The first was from Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young:

"Find the cost of freedom"

The second was from Twila Paris, about Jesus's people living just as He died,

"Willing to pay the price"

I can't say that I've been through your struggle, but I've seen the damage these prisons of addictions can do. From my hoarder friend who lives amid piles of rubbish to my earthy Italian neighbor lady who would go from doctor to doctor to get oxycontin prescriptions for her husband to a neighbor in Florida whose wife snorted their family life up her nose to an alcoholic uncle who died younger than I am now to my mother whose cigarette addiction killed her much too slowly...

I think you're finding out the cost of freedom.

That you're willing to pay the price makes me respect the hell out of you. You have my prayers, and let me know if I can support you in other ways.

Said with love from the heart. My youngest sister (9 years younger) is getting out of prison in June, and not the first time either, for things that were done because of overuse of prescription drugs. It is hell, and I've seen it. I pray she is now 'clean' for good!!

Thank you for putting yourself out there with your words of personal experience and now as encouragement, hope and kindness to others who are currently suffering.

 

[dev553344]

Hello all. Have you ever seen someone doing something bizarre? Or crazy? And you cant seem to figure out why?? Lets reverse that for a minute. Why cant others understand my craziness? Why doesnt my nonsensical thinking make sense?

i get that we all have our unusual quirks, thats just part of being human. But i do try to understand how so many can seem to get a handle on things and not let them spiral out of control.

Many years ago, i had taken more “medicine” than i probably should, i was still learning how this particular medicine worked. My folks had been on me for a good while about my medicine “habit”. When this particular incident happened, they tried to call 9 one one for me, but i stopped them, somehow. And still to this day, they get upset if i even take a tylenol.

i wish that every non-addict could understand the overwhelming emotions addicts go through. I’m not sure of any good comparison i can give. All i know is that when the craving hits, its the most intense state your mind and body can experience. Its just so much easier to feed it rather than fight it. Ok im done venting. Im just worried how next week is getting closer.

As far as insane. I've learned some things from the doctors and social workers over the years and from my own experience having been mentally insane while not taking my medications. What I learned is that the dopamine levels in the brain get low and you enter a sort of semi-sleep mode where the brain manifests visions and hallucinations for your subconscious sort of like your dreaming but awake. This clouds your mind with voices and visions and other hallucinations that interfere with your ability to interact socially and can even cause paranoia. And that is what insanity looks like when I don't take my dopamine regulating meds.

The other is addiction to pain meds. I had a bad surgery back in 2006 and had to be put on pain meds for a long period while the infection lasted. I developed severe headache problems and continued on the pain meds for a few years. I later most painfully came off the pain meds, which took a month of suffering since I was also addicted to Suboxone. Now that I am off the pain meds I hope to never need them again. The withdrawals are terrible and I fear them out of fear of pain and suffering that they cause. I have taken them since I quit but only a few and I find that if I only take a few at times that they are truly needed I don't get addicted again, and the Doctors can regulate that I don't get more.

 

[dev553344]

Oh and I found when I finally came off the pain meds, that they were causing the pain (head pain and other pains) that caused me to keep needing them. Catch 22 sort of thing.

 

[Lambano]

Said with love from the heart. My youngest sister (9 years younger) is getting out of prison in June, and not the first time either, for things that were done because of overuse of prescription drugs. It is hell, and I've seen it. I pray she is now 'clean' for good!!

Though it wasn't a prayer request, I prayed she would stay clean.