Godly Marriage vs. Spiritual Adultery
Marriage as God Designed It
Marriage is a holy covenant, not merely a human contract. From the beginning, God set the standard:Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Marriage is a union of body, soul, and spirit. It is exclusive, binding, and reflective of the covenant between Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:31–32). Stepping outside of this covenant, even emotionally, threatens the sacred bond God had established between the two becoming one flesh.
What the Bible Says About Adultery
The command is clear:Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.”
Matthew 5:27–28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Adultery is not limited to physical unfaithfulness. Jesus expands the definition to include emotional and inward desires that give room to unfaithfulness. God sees the heart, and even cultivating an inappropriate closeness with another person outside marriage is a breach of covenant.
Many today are deceived into thinking they can have a “close friendship” or “emotional connection” with someone outside their marriage without sinning.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 “Abstain from all appearance of evil.”
Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Even if a relationship never becomes physical, when it nurtures intimacy that belongs only to one’s spouse, it undermines God’s covenant design. These so-called “harmless” relationships open the door to idolatry, spiritual and emotional manipulation, lust, spiritual adultery, discontent with your spouse, and eventually betrayal.
Ungodly Soul Ties
When God created marriage, He designed it to be a covenantal union where two people become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This oneness is not just physical but also emotional, spiritual, and relational. It is a sacred bond that requires honesty, vulnerability, and intimacy to be shared within the context of a marriage covenant alone.However, the enemy seeks to distort this design. One of the subtle ways this happens is through ungodly soul ties that form when a husband or wife begins to confide in someone who is not their spouse, outside their marriage, with a friend of the same sex and/or, particularly, in the case of a person of the opposite sex.
Soul Ties vs Ungodly Soul Ties
A soul tie is a deep connection of mind, will, heart, and emotions that binds two people together. God intended healthy soul ties within marriage, family, and godly fellowship (1 Samuel 18:1, Ecclesiastes 4:9–12). But when emotional intimacy and deep personal sharing take place outside of God’s order, an "ungodly soul tie" can form.There are many ways this can happen. A married person may share personal struggles about their spouse or marital issues, which inadvertently opens the door to intimacy outside of their covenant. This often begins innocently, perhaps just “venting” frustrations or seeking a listening ear, but over time, emotional dependence can form, which can become a form of idolatry. Colossians 3:5
Connecting with another person who is not your spouse and discussing personal, marital, family, or financial decisions, job matters, or even personal ambitions can give the listener permission to influence their lives in a way that should only be shared and discussed with their spouse. This kind of deep personal sharing undermines unity within the marriage. Amos 3:3 Creates secrecy: Ephesians 4:25 Fosters Emotional and spiritual adultery. Matthew 5:28
A Biblical Example
Samson’s downfall illustrates this principle. He repeatedly shared secrets with Delilah (Judges 16:15–17), giving her power over his decisions. What he should have guarded, he gave away—and it ultimately destroyed him. In the same way, when husbands or wives entrust personal struggles to someone outside of their marriage, they unknowingly give that person power to influence, manipulate, or even control their lives.In summary: When struggles are shared with others instead of one’s spouse, it invites outside influence into what God has ordained as a sacred two-person covenant. This not only weakens the marriage bond but also opens the door for manipulation, confusion, and division and eventually hurt and betrayal.
Scripture Warnings
“Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.” (Proverbs 5:15)A clear call to keep intimacy within marriage.
“Do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:27)
Even seemingly harmless emotional ties can become strongholds.
“The heart is deceitful above all things.” (Jeremiah 17:9)
What feels innocent can easily cross boundaries.
God’s Way of Healing
1. Repentance: Acknowledge; unhealthy emotional bonds have been formed and confess them to God (1 John 1:9).2. Breaking the tie: Renounce; ungodly attachments in prayer and ask the Lord to sever those bonds (2 Corinthians 10:4–5).
3. Restoration in marriage: Choose; to be transparent with your spouse, rebuild trust, and redirect intimacy back into the marriage. (Matthew 12:25)
4. Guarding boundaries: Keep personal: marital matters between husband and wife, and when counsel is needed, seek Godly, safe, and same-sex accountability or pastoral guidance (Proverbs 11:14). (Eccles 4:9-12)
Closing Thoughts:
Ungodly soul ties don’t begin overnight; they are formed little by little when emotional walls go up in marriage and are lowered with someone else. God’s desire is to protect the sacred covenant of marriage, keeping your body, soul, and spirit united with the one He has given you. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9).
A Call To Faithfulness
God calls His people to purity and devotion:Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Malachi 2:15 “So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.”
The call is not only to avoid adultery but also to guard the heart. Intimacy is a sacred gift reserved for the marriage covenant, just as worship and devotion belong only to God.
Spiritual adultery is not just about straying spouses; it is about straying hearts. The faithful believer is called to honor both their marriage covenant and their covenant with God, walking in holiness, purity, and devotion.
2 Corinthians 11:2 “For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”
Just as the church is to remain faithful to Christ, so too are spouses to remain faithful to one another. Anything less is a distortion of God’s holy pattern.
Angelina 29/08/2025
