Heart Of Stone

[followerofchrist]

I have read much in scripture of God hardening the hearts of people and of some just having heardend hearts. The meaning here is quite clear. What use is a heardened heart? Does it feel, does it compassion, does it love as Christ loves? Certainly not.My reason for bringing this here is a personal reason. I fear that, well I am quite sure that I myself have such a heart. Growing up with the family life I have had it was necessary for me to build up walls to protect myself. I've done it for years and apparantly done a much better job than I ever imagined. For since I became a christian, around a year and a half ago, this is one thing about me that has not seemed to have changed. I'm about as easily hurt or moved emotionally as your average rock. I will give you a few examples, just a few months ago my sister informed me that our parents were getting divorced and everyone in the family, aside from myself, had been aware of it for some time. Why I was left out I don't know, but anway, my reaction was...well rather lacking. A mere "Huh, well...ok." sufficed. And when my father informed me that my step mom, who I have grown up with since I was 1 yr old, had been having affairs for years, I didn't so much as flinch. Of course I pitied my dad but it really had no effect on me. And being the reader I am I have read a few books on martyrs and what not, never very pleasant stories if you have ever read one, such books like Jesus Freaks. Very inspiring indeed, but as far as emotional effect on me, there was none. It matters not how horrific, how tragic, sad, or depressing a thing may be; you shall not see a tear escape my eyes. I realize that being so stoic is not normal, and not right at all. I have been very aware of this for some time. And for months I have prayed for God to soften my heart, to allow me to feel. And I am still as dead to emotion as ever. No matter how much I want it, desire it, long for it, or beg for it; a softened heart does not seem to be in my grasps. Has anyone else experienced such...lack of feeling? Or does anyone know a cause for this? I merely want to feel...I would greatly appreciate a friendly point in the right direction. Thanks~Follower

 

[Jordan]

QUOTE (followerofchrist @ Feb 17 2009, 07:17 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69352
I have read much in scripture of God hardening the hearts of people and of some just having heardend hearts. The meaning here is quite clear. What use is a heardened heart? Does it feel, does it compassion, does it love as Christ loves? Certainly not.My reason for bringing this here is a personal reason. I fear that, well I am quite sure that I myself have such a heart. Growing up with the family life I have had it was necessary for me to build up walls to protect myself. I've done it for years and apparantly done a much better job than I ever imagined. For since I became a christian, around a year and a half ago, this is one thing about me that has not seemed to have changed. I'm about as easily hurt or moved emotionally as your average rock. I will give you a few examples, just a few months ago my sister informed me that our parents were getting divorced and everyone in the family, aside from myself, had been aware of it for some time. Why I was left out I don't know, but anway, my reaction was...well rather lacking. A mere "Huh, well...ok." sufficed. And when my father informed me that my step mom, who I have grown up with since I was 1 yr old, had been having affairs for years, I didn't so much as flinch. Of course I pitied my dad but it really had no effect on me. And being the reader I am I have read a few books on martyrs and what not, never very pleasant stories if you have ever read one, such books like Jesus Freaks. Very inspiring indeed, but as far as emotional effect on me, there was none. It matters not how horrific, how tragic, sad, or depressing a thing may be; you shall not see a tear escape my eyes. I realize that being so stoic is not normal, and not right at all. I have been very aware of this for some time. And for months I have prayed for God to soften my heart, to allow me to feel. And I am still as dead to emotion as ever. No matter how much I want it, desire it, long for it, or beg for it; a softened heart does not seem to be in my grasps. Has anyone else experienced such...lack of feeling? Or does anyone know a cause for this? I merely want to feel...I would greatly appreciate a friendly point in the right direction. Thanks~Follower
I'm sorry that you could not be able to feel at all... It's pretty unhealthy, that's the only cause I'm aware of is that... nothing healthy. I'll try my best to help you out, but I can only post my experiences on that.My experiences with people in feeling emotionless began very soon I became a Christian. The more I read God's Words, the more I grew spiritual, but I never took it to heart... to apply it with my life... The only reason I became emotionless is because I shut everybody up including me... didn't care anything what a person says or feel. It went that way until I came to Christianity Board as God led me here. I felt the divine love that I never saw as I'm aware in my life... I was able to feel the love to see others that knows the Truth... I was able to feel the reality. When I saw others know Truth... I began to feel for others that doesn't know the Truth. But I did love them...even though I never felt it. until I apply the bible (not just knowing Truth) in my life... I felt everything people feels and say regardless if they knew Truth or not... I'm still growing in feelings......I don't know if this helps some or not... but I try... because I love you and I care about you.

 

[followerofchrist]

Its not that I don't care about people's feeling or stuff like that. I want to, I want to have a softened heart and feel towards people the same way God feels towards people. Loving always and weaping when they sin against him. But I can't..I want to, I try. i just don't

 

[Jordan]

QUOTE (followerofchrist @ Feb 17 2009, 08:47 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69355
Its not that I don't care about people's feeling or stuff like that. I want to, I want to have a softened heart and feel towards people the same way God feels towards people. Loving always and weaping when they sin against him. But I can't..I want to, I try. i just don't
Well everybody comes from different directions... Your situation are different than mine. But I can say is Make an effort for a change. Sorry if I'm not helping much, but that's the only advice I can give you. God is not going to do all the work for us. We have to make an effort for a change. Then He will help along the way.

 

[followerofchrist]

QUOTE (Jordan @ Feb 17 2009, 08:54 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69356
Well everybody comes from different directions... Your situation are different than mine. But I can say is Make an effort for a change. Sorry if I'm not helping much, but that's the only advice I can give you. God is not going to do all the work for us. We have to make an effort for a change. Then He will help along the way.
Well if it is me doing, or not doing, something that is causing this to happen to me. Than I still don't know how to change it

 

[followerofchrist]

I have come to others about this before and one person told me something very interesting. It has stuck with me. That is, that perhaps God has made me this way, for now, for a specific reason. Maybe there is something coming up in my life that I couldn't handle if I were not so stoic. Maybe this inability to be seriously hurt will save me soon, from something that would break me otherwise. I don't know...

 

[Christina]

Well I dont think you do have a heart of Stone at all follower I think you have learned to bury your emotions because your young and had little control over what happens in your family life ... We all have different ways we block off or deal with emotions we dont know how to process. In the months I have known you Ive seen you care about your friends you feel bad for your dad these are not things of a heart of stone ...You control your emotions perhaps to much .. but its your coping mechanism ... This will change Ive known many young people that feel as you do ...I think in some ways its a saving grace ... when you see so many young people go off the deep end because they take things to much to heart ..we live in trying times for our young adults these days as you grow to a man fall in love You will be amazed at how your heart will open to that person and once it opened you will view the whole world differently. So I wouldnt worry about it too much ..

 

[shmity72]

hi,i'm new here. to respond to your well worded post: It may be that you were born with a particular mental illness. then again it may not. A friend of mine (who is not a christian) does good works all the time. but he has no faith...no remorse...no 'human' compassion. when he was a child and sometimes to this day, he saw shadow people. he saw people as shadows and...that's how he dealt with his fathers leaving him at a young age. I cannot put a label on this particular condition. all i can say is that you're not alone. I too have slight sociopathic tendancies...if you want to call it that. but sometimes in tragic events' someone that doesn't get 'all hysterical' is more apt to do 'good'.on a side note: i think it's a boon to you that you're able to acknowledge the worth of theocracy and Jesus as a Christian. that's cool.well just my two cents.sincerely, shmity72

 

[Letsgofishing]

QUOTE (followerofchrist @ Feb 17 2009, 10:16 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69358
I have come to others about this before and one person told me something very interesting. It has stuck with me. That is, that perhaps God has made me this way, for now, for a specific reason. Maybe there is something coming up in my life that I couldn't handle if I were not so stoic. Maybe this inability to be seriously hurt will save me soon, from something that would break me otherwise. I don't know...
Hey FOC, long time no readI might be completely off on this, but I think you are completely off on this, you are completely mis diagnosing your situation. Just because you don't wear your emotions on your sleeve doesn't mean at all that you don't care about people don't love people, don't feel for people. this far in my life three of my extended family members died and I didn't cry one tear for any of them. Now these were not some far off family members that I didn't associate with, I loved them deeply, but everybody shows there emotions differently. And some, like me and you, don't show them on our sleeve, but inside.For some people, me included, it has to get really personal or tragic for us to break down. So Don't worry about it, I know your not an emotionless jerk, Ive seen you love others time and time again on this board. Your brother in ChristRyan FitzPS. I love you back Jag....even if you weren't talking to me

 

[thisistheendtimes]

followerofchrist,Your heart is as it's supposed to be, right now. When and if The Lord decides that you should change anything about yourself, He will let you know, NOT through man or any pastor, minister, counselor, churchgoer, etc., but He will put the thought into your head in private and you both will discuss it TOGETHER...Isaiah 1:18"Come now, let us reason together".We are to have a PERSONAL relationship with Him (with all of our idiosyncrasies/quirks, habits, shortcomings, etc.) and it is supposed to be a TWO WAY relationship also so that He can have a relationship with you (He "yearns jealously", James 4:5).I'm 54 years old. I suffered 51 years of suicidal depression because I grew up in a severely dysfunctional family. I am also stoic. As with everything, there is a GODLY definition of what love is, and there is an earthly definition of what love is. Earthly love is one of many "emotions" (emotional love), but Godly love (to my understanding) is more stoic...human rights, respect for a person's humanity, live and let live, let others find their own happiness, feeling "sorrow" for other's misfortune (not "bleeding heart" COMPASSION) and EMPATHY/understanding (not "sympathy"). Don't be anyone's "doormat"/patsy. Since I'm 54 years old (and you might be younger), maybe you are not supposed to understand and believe/feel everything I'm explaining right now (discuss it with God). Basically, a person cannot truly show more genuine [earthly] love than they have experienced/learned/received (been taught/given by man). I also used to be concerned about feeling emotionless/hard nosed and stoic, but God explained to me that it's just that I am "principled" (either/or dichotomy). We should not be hypocritical bleeding heart "compassionists". The heart (crux) of the reason you cannot feel is a subconscious identity crisis. My identity crisis was that I was unsure of who I was (confused about my self worth) as a "unique person". The heavenly Father's true name (His "FOREVER" name) is "I am who I am" (Exodus 3:14, He sent Jesus, but that is The FATHER's name "FOREVER"). Two years ago, I started learning from Him about who I am because I decided to no longer learn from MAN. The truth is, regardless of what MAN teaches, there should be NO "self abasement" (self belittlement, NEVER "surrender" who you are, "SELF", that is who God wants a relationship with)...Colossians 2:18http://www.blueletterbible.org/search/tran...;t=RSV&sf=5The bible ("word of truth", 2 Timothy 2:15, Ephesians 1:13) is the introductory doctrine of Jesus (Hebrews 6:1, John 14:6) and has always been taught to us wrong because the modern day "moneychangers" have always wanted to keep making money and had the "strong delusion". The churchgoers enjoy being "scholars" (pride) and the ministers want to stay in business. In scripture, God will give you alot of insight into human nature and good advice (wise counsel) so that you can live under the law of liberty because of what Jesus abolished (Ephesians 2:15)....http://www.blueletterbible.org/search/tran...;t=RSV&sf=5The SPIRIT (not COMMENTARIES) searches EVEN the "depths of God" (1 Corinthians 2:10).God wants us to learn "principles" (Hebrews 5:12) and understand that right is right and wrong is wrong..."and never the t'wain shall meet" so that we make a clear division (as would a "sword")between right and wrong so there is no middle ground between the two ("no variation or shadow", James 1:17) so that the change from right to wrong is clear and abrupt. People with a reprobate mind do not think with this principle, only those who let God's spirit "indwell"...Ephesians 6:17"the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God" (and presently proceeds from His mouth). Have a "more excellent" devotion/relationship (1 Corin. 12:31) based on the "greatest of these" (1 Corin. 13:13) with a "faith for faith" (Romans 1:17, Hebrews 11:6) because the simple ability to believe something (faith) does not impress/please The Lord.

 

[Christina]

My take also LGF Ive have never felt a Stone Heart from follower

 

[Jordan]

QUOTE (Christina @ Feb 18 2009, 04:04 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69391
My take also LGF Ive have never felt a Stone Heart from follower
Yes, but however followerofchrist can make an effort to try to change, but God expects us to make an effort and then He will help along the way... Right Christina?

 

[GeneralJ]

QUOTE
QUOTE (followerofchrist @ Feb 17 2009, 08:17 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69352
I have read much in scripture of God hardening the hearts of people and of some just having heardend hearts. The meaning here is quite clear. What use is a heardened heart? Does it feel, does it compassion, does it love as Christ loves? Certainly not.My reason for bringing this here is a personal reason. I fear that, well I am quite sure that I myself have such a heart. Growing up with the family life I have had it was necessary for me to build up walls to protect myself. I've done it for years and apparantly done a much better job than I ever imagined. For since I became a christian, around a year and a half ago, this is one thing about me that has not seemed to have changed. I'm about as easily hurt or moved emotionally as your average rock. I will give you a few examples, just a few months ago my sister informed me that our parents were getting divorced and everyone in the family, aside from myself, had been aware of it for some time. Why I was left out I don't know, but anway, my reaction was...well rather lacking. A mere "Huh, well...ok." sufficed. And when my father informed me that my step mom, who I have grown up with since I was 1 yr old, had been having affairs for years, I didn't so much as flinch. Of course I pitied my dad but it really had no effect on me. And being the reader I am I have read a few books on martyrs and what not, never very pleasant stories if you have ever read one, such books like Jesus Freaks. Very inspiring indeed, but as far as emotional effect on me, there was none. It matters not how horrific, how tragic, sad, or depressing a thing may be; you shall not see a tear escape my eyes. I realize that being so stoic is not normal, and not right at all. I have been very aware of this for some time. And for months I have prayed for God to soften my heart, to allow me to feel. And I am still as dead to emotion as ever. No matter how much I want it, desire it, long for it, or beg for it; a softened heart does not seem to be in my grasps. Has anyone else experienced such...lack of feeling? Or does anyone know a cause for this? I merely want to feel...I would greatly appreciate a friendly point in the right direction. Thanks~Follower
Hey follower, I can empathize with your situation here. I came from a pretty rough childhood, no need to get into much detail on that but soon after leaving home I enlisted in the Military. While in service I was trained to put aside compassion and emotion and became very cold. I was involved in a number of conflicts overseas that further "hardened" my heart with the numerous atrocities I witnessed by men. To this day I have very little fear of anything other than God and failures which I consider a great blessing; however I would never cry or mourn over anything.Before I changed my evil ways society considered me the perfect unfeeling, coarse, emotionless man, completely separate from good or bad effects of circumstance or conscience, literally what every soldier is trained to be. And this “character” I excelled at.Nowadays I do not cry nor am I emotional over any situation. I have a certain “detachment” in most “panicky” situations and I believe God has given me this “sound mind.” By his mercy and Grace towards me I have learned he has taught me how to exercise the same. Nothing wrong with that. Truthfully every Child of God must “keep” the “soil” of their hearts in order to resist this “hardening” that is so welcomed and encouraged in today’s society by allowing the Spirit of God to work through us.Let me share a story;Soon after I left my first service with the US Marines, I was united with my family in southern Oklahoma. While there I wrestled greatly with my “coarse” character and knew that it was not how Christ would deal with certain situations. It was certainly how my flesh was trained to respond naturally. One morning I went to the pantry to feed the family dog and inside the large bag of food I saw that a very small young mouse had fallen into the bag and was unable to jump or climb out. If my flesh were allowed to have its way I would have killed the little creature with little or no remorse and justified the act by ridding the house of this unwelcome vermin. God had a different plan, however, and I was overcome with pity and compassion for the little mouse. I realized he had in reality fell into what he would have considered “a paradise of unlimited food” but in that act had sealed his fate as well. It must be noted here that there was and is no good thing in me, other than Christ, so the compassion I felt welling up in me was not mine, it was indeed Christ’s. So to make a short story of it all, I gently caught the little creature and released him outside unharmed.The next day at church during the praise service my mother came to me and said she had a word from God for me, it was this; “As you have shown mercy to the least of these, I will show you mercy.” I was overcome. Really what can you say to that? I certainly believe I have done more wrong and evil in one hour of my life than that little mouse will ever in his entire life, but God has chosen out of his grace to show me mercy that can never be earned. That last sentence is the key to this post. I stated before that I never cry….but there is one thing that I weep openly and freely at, that is, when I still myself and meditate on the mercy and grace that my Heavenly father has shown me all throughout my life. In that I realize that when I do show these same attributes of God towards others it is not me that does but Christ in me. And thinking on all the times I deserved his wrath he instead showed me mercy and love I go to pieces.So give it a shot, consider all he has done for you, and he’ll begin to soften your heart and give you a heart of flesh, and the heart of Christ will shine forth.You will begin to see this as you exercise these recollections of grace during praise, and it will burst forth, for you cannot contain it.God bless and keep you as he always has,General-

 

[Jilli]

Dear FOC, I don't think you have too much to worry about. I have only two short things to say.1. A lot of that is just the way you are, your personality. I have a husband whom I have never seen cry in 25 years marriage (unless wet eyes is called crying!) I also have a 19 year old son who is a real softie underneath but you would never know it on the outside. He hasn't cried since he was a little boy.2. If you really want to change, then between you and God, over the years it will happen. You may have erected walls around you for protection (and I can understand that completely) but it is plain to see that you do not have a heart of stone.You seem to be a very caring young guy who loves God and I would be proud of you if you were my son.

 

[WhiteKnuckle]

Well said General!Follower, I struggled with that too. One thing that kept in my mind is this, "The heart is decietful above all things and desperately wicked" I grew up hard and put myself through hard knocks along the way. One thing I've noticed, is this "lack of emotion" isn't a hardening of the heart. Emotions can lead you to all kinds of messed up places. Envy, lust, anger, greed, these are all emotions also. Not to mention, you're very young still. At this point, when most young people are going crazy with their emotions like whirlwinds and waves on the see, you are collected. This to me is a sort of blessing, in a time of your growth to maturity in life and the word of God you have a mind to discern and reason.The very notion that you have a concern about your so called "hard" heart tells volumes of your character and where the true concern lies within you. Your spirit is troubled, and there lies your true heart. Don't let the emotions and feelings of your flesh guide you. You'll be surprised at how you react to situations. Sometimes where you think you should be sad, you will feel happy, or times when you think you should feel happy you'll feel sad. Sometimes you just wont seem to feel anything at all.Don't worry. "Be still and know that I am the Lord". Your heart will be changed in the Lords time.

 

[bethog]

QUOTE (followerofchrist @ Feb 18 2009, 04:57 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69357
Well if it is me doing, or not doing, something that is causing this to happen to me. Than I still don't know how to change it
This is something you have to understand. Nothing “you” do or do not do can change this. Because if you could have done something about yourself, you would not need Jesus. Therefore the first thing you have to make peace with is that you can do nothing about it and only God can do what it takes. So now the question “so, am I going to stay like this, because this is God will”. No certainly not, it is not God’s will for you to be like this. You are created in His images and He is a God with emotions. What you have done to ask this question on this forum was the first step which you can take. You have shown your willingness to change. Now you have to pray and ask God to do what you can not do. Confess you dependency on God. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to yield to God and He will heal your broken heart and He will help you through all the rejection you went though and you will overcome.I pray now for you and ask the Holy Spirit to minister to you in a supernatural way. I call the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. I call the Blood of Jesus over you for your protection, in Jesus Name. Amen.Phl 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. QUOTE (followerofchrist @ Feb 18 2009, 05:16 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=69358
I have come to others about this before and one person told me something very interesting. It has stuck with me. That is, that perhaps God has made me this way, for now, for a specific reason. Maybe there is something coming up in my life that I couldn't handle if I were not so stoic. Maybe this inability to be seriously hurt will save me soon, from something that would break me otherwise. I don't know...
This is not true as God will not make you suffer to help you. It is like having a child and say ok I will break your leg to teach you not to run in the street.

 

[WhiteKnuckle]

{{Hiding kids so Bethog doesn't see them run in the streets}}