So you didn't get much closer to the Lord as a student in a Christian private school? What the biggest hurdle for you regarding believing that God is real and that he exists in the world today as he has since the beginning?
@Riven. Your parents were possible believers then...
No, I didn't get any closer to the Lord as a result of going to a Christian School. We had chapel every Wednesday, and I would listen to every word that was spoken by a handful of pastors that were also teachers at the school.
I didnt allow my mind to wander because I genuinely envied what my cheistian peers had. They seemed very happy in their faith, and I couldn't understand why there was this mental block that seemed exclusive to me.
The biggest block for me is both the bible and God himself. The biblical stories jist don't make sense to me. Especially the stories contained in the Old Testament. In many ways, I view Genesis as a sort of litmus test.
Many Christians I know read Genesis and it made complete sense to them. However, when I read Genesis, I felt like I just read a chapter of the Chronicles of Narnia. It made me disinclined to read anything beyond that chapter. As someone that went to public school for most of his life, and was educated in the sciences, I couldn't get past the very obvious inaccuracies that exist within the text.
My parents were never Christians as far as I can tell. We did not go to church when I was a child. While I think there always was a general belief in God, my stepdad was the only one that was Catholic and I respect him for that. When my mother asked for a divorce, he genuinely didn't believe in the concept. Again, I can't express enough my admiration for the man. Truly.
After my brother died in 1998, my grandparents, who had custody of me at the time because of the extreme circumstances, decided to begin attending church services at a Baptist church a few miles from where we lived. I initially went along, but I hated it. I wanted nothing to do with the church or God at the time. I eventually convinced then to let me stay home, and they also eventually stopped attending the church.