How do you know when you've forgiven?

[Kimshi42]

Howdy all...new here...Born again since 1990... about half of my life. But have had a nearly life long issue:How do you know when you've forgiven someone? And how do you forgive when you KNOW you haven't ye?A common question, I guess.I've got some issues I'm still dealing with from childhood. People who've wronged me more recently (who doesn't have those?) still dominate my thoughts at times.So how do you know when you've forgiven?

 

[Christina]

I think People easily confuse Forgivness and Forgeting You can never forget bad situations it is how we learn what cause's us pain. If one puts their hand in the flamethe wound heals but you never forget that the flame caused you pain.Forgivness is to be able to put your anger and hurt behind you turn it over to God and he helps you heal. And move past the pain.

 

[ThinkOnItDevotions]

True forgiveness comes from God's Holy Spirit in you. When you're ready to yield to the Holy Spirit you will be able to forgive. Like the previous poster said about turning it over to God, there is usually a peace that comes along with that kind of surrender. That's when you know it's of Him and not you.

 

[Thunder1]

Blessings,You make a decision to forgive from your heart, you might not have great feelings, but you know that you know, you've done your part and that settles it. As somebody mention you might not be able to forget it,but you have made the right decision. You might still get negative feelings about those people etc. feelings come and feelings go. Just don't let them stick to you, as they can become a bondage in your life. Try to push negative thoughts away straight away when they come into your mind with God's help. You can even say loudly: "I rebuke those thought in Jesus name." You are able to enjoy your life and go forward with God. Forgiveness frees you !The Bible teaches us not hold grudges and to become bitter. Forgiving is a hard thing to do, but it is powerful. God will forgive those who forgive others. And don't forget, God is so big, let Him fight for you and give those people to God. I've noticed, how God is able to deal better with people than me. Those people have to answer to God at some point. God sees and hears everything. Trust Him. We all are sinners, some have done bigger sins than others with bigger after effects. But we all need forgiveness. And you've get it straight away when you ask.

 

[Kimshi42]

(Thunder1;28162)
Blessings,You make a decision to forgive from your heart, you might not have great feelings, but you know that you know, you've done your part and that settles it. As somebody mention you might not be able to forget it,but you have made the right decision. You might still get negative feelings about those people etc. feelings come and feelings go. Just don't let them stick to you, as they can become a bondage in your life. Try to push negative thoughts away straight away when they come into your mind with God's help. You can even say loudly: "I rebuke those thought in Jesus name." You are able to enjoy your life and go forward with God. Forgiveness frees you !The Bible teaches us not hold grudges and to become bitter. Forgiving is a hard thing to do, but it is powerful. God will forgive those who forgive others. And don't forget, God is so big, let Him fight for you and give those people to God. I've noticed, how God is able to deal better with people than me. Those people have to answer to God at some point. God sees and hears everything. Trust Him. We all are sinners, some have done bigger sins than others with bigger after effects. But we all need forgiveness. And you've get it straight away when you ask.
That's the problem: My negative feelings are sticking with me and I am bitter. I can tell. It affects how I treat my parents specifically. I've prayed about it and reached points where I've just told God He needs to handle b/c I can not. I'll explain in a separate post...

 

[desire_his_path]

I'm dealing with a similar issue of needing to forgive someone and I don't believe forgiveness comes easy all of the time. It's not impossible but I don't think it's something that happens overnight for most of us, and sometimes, it might even take years to FULLY forgive. I do know one thing, by being open-minded and recognizing it's something you need to do, that's better than where you were yesterday and if you're honest with God and tell him "God, I'm inspiring to be more Christ-like but God, I need your help, I'm having trouble forgiving, please give me strength when I'm tempted to cling to the negativity when I know you want to free me from those feelings." Gradually, you'll find yourself letting go and each time you have to deal with those feelings, you'll gradually release them too by being honest, speaking on the faith that you have in God restoring you. And don't forget, even if in a year you're still dealing with some feelings of negativity towards that person you're closer to where you need to be than where you were. We're works in progress!

 

[setfree]

I think we all at some time in our life deal with this issue. For me, as others have posted, We chose in our minds to do right, but without the Holy Spirit we are powerless to completely forgive. One thing that helped me realize I had totally forgiven is when I was able to pray for God to Bless the one that wronged me. Before I knew it God had replaced bitterness with compassion for that person. I was tired of Satan having that hold on my life. Sometimes we just have to do the right thing, step out and trust God will lead you.

 

[SpiritSoldier]

Hey I feel you on this topic Kimshi. I had problems forgiving my dad for abusing me when I was little after I was Born Again. I had resentment for the past and it surfaced with annoyance at small trifle things. All I did was prayed to Yahweh God to allow my heart to forgive my Dad for everything he did and the next day it was like a whole new ball game, you have to be willing to let go of the pain and he will heal your heart I promise.