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How To Get To Heaven

Discussion in 'Christian Devotions and Inspiration' started by Ezra, Mar 23, 2019.

  1. Ezra

    Ezra Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    How To Get To Heaven
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    teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"

    "NO!" the children all answered.

    "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

    Again, the answer was "NO!"

    "Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"

    In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"
     
  2. Episkopos

    Episkopos Well-Known Member

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    That about sums up the theology of the modern church right there. However, death is more than just a physical state. We can walk in heaven and still be alive physically in this world. It requires a different kind of death. A death to the self-life that we draw our strength from. Then we are free to be attached to God and live from His grace and life. We have this treasure then in earthen vessels.
     
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  3. Ezra

    Ezra Well-Known Member

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    easy it was just a joke
     
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  4. bbyrd009

    bbyrd009 Groper

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    that unfortunately encompasses the beliefs of most who deem themselves Christian I guess right
    See it's maybe a joke to you, but maybe not to Taken et al?
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2019
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  5. Ezra

    Ezra Well-Known Member

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    i feel sorry for you if you or anyone else takes this as theology..i could easily use this as illustration in a message.. just lighten up and take it for what it is..
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    The Dead Mule
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    Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He telephoned the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Pastor to the Health Department.

    They explained, "Since there was no health threat you'll need to call the Sanitation Department."

    When the pastor called the Sanitation Department, the Manager of the Sanitation Department said, "I can't pick up that dead mule without authorization from the mayor."

    The Pastor was not at all too eager to call the mayor, who possessed a very bad temper and was always extremely unpleasant and hard to deal with, but, eventually, the Pastor called the mayor anyway.

    The mayor did not disappoint the Pastor. The mayor immediately began to rant and rave. After his continued rant at the pastor, the mayor finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't your job to bury the dead?"

    The pastor paused for a brief prayer, and asked the Lord to direct his response. The lord led the pastor to the words he was seeking, "Yes, Mayor, it IS my job to bury the dead, BUT I always like to notify the next of kin first!"
     
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  6. tzcho2

    tzcho2 Well-Known Member

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    It made me laugh. Kids answers can be really funny because when they are so literal & blunt. At one of our Church services the Pastor invited the little ones up to the front where he told them the story of the birth of baby Jesus. Then he asked if anyone had any questions and my just about 4 yr old niece put up her hand. The Pastor was all happy one of the little tikes was paying attention and asked , What is your question, dear?" She pointed to the ceiling at the florescent lights and said, " How do you turn on those lights? ":p The whole congregation broke into laughter!
     
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  7. Ezra

    Ezra Well-Known Member

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    i like that
    :D
     
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