I think that love isn't only how we treat people, but goes deeper to the heart level. And this is why.I believe love is how we treat people, not how we feel about them:
No, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head." Romans 12:20 RSV
1 Corinthians 13:3
[3]And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
This seems to indicate that we can do good works for others and still not truly love them. I do believe that if we obey God and do good to those who hate us, pray for our enemies, etc ...then He will do the work in our hearts to remove hatred and bitterness, and pain/wounding. But even obeying God is rooted in love.
John 14:15, 21
[15]If ye love me, keep my commandments.
[21]He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
Years ago, when I was in my twenties, I heard God say to me, "If your love is right, your life will be right." Ever since then, He has been teaching me more and more about love.
Edit: I believe it all goes back to "first love" ....relationship with God, knowing that He loves us, and responding by loving Him back. And this ties in with the two great commandments that Jesus gave: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind ...and loving others as we love ourselves. Rooted and grounded in love.
Matthew 22:37-39
[37]Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
[38]This is the first and great commandment.
[39]And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
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