I Quenched The Holy Spirit - Will He Come Back?

[WhiteKnuckle]

I was wondering how things were going with you!

Don't be discouraged. If the Lord is infact punishing you, then it's because he Loves you. Though you are caught in a sin, and having a struggle, the Lord is still with you, and you are still sanctified by the Holy Spirit. Rest assured there are no demons in you, or your eyes.

It's good to feel sad, and down, and feel worthless sometimes. Believe it or not, those are good things. Before the Lord can build something better, He must tear down what was built in it's place.

One day you will look back and realize exactly what's going on and why. Odder still, You'll be glad and thankfull you went through this. One day in your future, you will run into someone going through the same thing. You will give them a beacon of hope and a light at the end of the tunnel!

Do you remember the story in the Bible (I can't remember which book or chapter, but it's OT) The Jews were going through terrible times. They thought God had abandoned them, and were begging and begging for God to return. But He never left them. They were just so used to miracles and huge blessings. They thought if those stopped, the God went away.

God is doing a powerful work in your life. Don't give up, He's still there, and he feels your pain, and knows and understand completely. He will guide you and restore you in one fashion or another. Rest assured in His mercy and be patient.

Blessings to You.

 

[Endzone]

Thanks WhiteKnuckle, but there are in fact demonic spirits operating in my brain. No, they aren't in control, but they do have influence.

I was wondering how things were going with you!

Don't be discouraged. If the Lord is infact punishing you, then it's because he Loves you. Though you are caught in a sin, and having a struggle, the Lord is still with you, and you are still sanctified by the Holy Spirit. Rest assured there are no demons in you, or your eyes.

It's good to feel sad, and down, and feel worthless sometimes. Believe it or not, those are good things. Before the Lord can build something better, He must tear down what was built in it's place.

One day you will look back and realize exactly what's going on and why. Odder still, You'll be glad and thankfull you went through this. One day in your future, you will run into someone going through the same thing. You will give them a beacon of hope and a light at the end of the tunnel!

Do you remember the story in the Bible (I can't remember which book or chapter, but it's OT) The Jews were going through terrible times. They thought God had abandoned them, and were begging and begging for God to return. But He never left them. They were just so used to miracles and huge blessings. They thought if those stopped, the God went away.

God is doing a powerful work in your life. Don't give up, He's still there, and he feels your pain, and knows and understand completely. He will guide you and restore you in one fashion or another. Rest assured in His mercy and be patient.

Blessings to You.

 

[pastorlesofm]

Thanks WhiteKnuckle, but there are in fact demonic spirits operating in my brain. No, they aren't in control, but they do have influence.

Brother, I too was once homeless,down and out. All through that experience the Lord guided me as wel as used me through the experience, caling me to a ministry with New York City's homeless for 18 years. All praise and honor go to Jesus Christ. God never turns His back on us, and hardtimes he allows in our life has a purpose for His Glory, rest assured. You just need time to sit at His Feet in prayer and worship. Seek Him and He will give you the answers your looking for. He waits for you with His loving Arms opened to you. I'm sure He has not taken the Holy Spirit from you. As far as evil thoughts, I dare say there isn't one person who proclaims Jesus Christ as Lord who doesn't have an evil thought from time to time. Read I John 1:9. Jesus is faithful and He is Loving. Let me ask you a question. If you had a child who was learning to walk, stumbled while learning, would you throw that child out of your life, because he/she fell? I don't think so. Same is with our Loving Heavenly Father. He would no more throw you His child out of His Life then you would throw your child out. Man never fully understands the extent of God's Love for us. His Grace and Mercy covers us, knowing that we will stumble from time to time. Jesus went to the Cross for sins, past, present, and future. So like a doctor I perscribe at least four Gospills per day and rest at His Feet. Jesus Loves You and so do we here at CB. We cover you with our prayers. Love you in Jesus Name, Pastor Les.

 

[Endzone]

Pastor Les bless you my dear brother. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your service to the homeless in NYC for 18 years. May the Lord bless you for your service unto Him. I'll tell you being homeless is a hard life. I pity these people who have to endure this. It's especially hard being homeless when you are sick like I have been. But I at least had a car to stay in and some money. But I pity these people, and I tried to help them out with a 5-spot here and there as much as I could. My parents insisted that I get a place to stay at one of the cheaper monthly hotels here in Ft. Worth. And so I did, and I am so grateful now that I am not homeless. My problems have not gone away, but they are easier to deal now. When we are sick we need to rest before the Lord, and not be out trying to survive at the same time. I met one man my age (black man) who lost both parents near the same time a couple of years ago. He was very sad and heartbroke. His parents were Christians and a big influence in His life. This man loved the Lord, but he didn't want to stay with his brother or sister. He wanted to have a place of his own, and I can understand why he felt that way. He said he was able to deal with the current homelessness knowing the Lord was with Him and the Lord told him He had a plan for his life.

I took a few pictures. This meal last night is considered to be the best meal in town for the homeless. It is served every Thursday night. Just thought you might find it interesting. Click on any picture to enlarge. The Lord bless you.

http://www.pbase.com/craig_c/broadway_baptist

Brother, I too was once homeless,down and out. All through that experience the Lord guided me as wel as used me through the experience, caling me to a ministry with New York City's homeless for 18 years. All praise and honor go to Jesus Christ. God never turns His back on us, and hardtimes he allows in our life has a purpose for His Glory, rest assured. You just need time to sit at His Feet in prayer and worship. Seek Him and He will give you the answers your looking for. He waits for you with His loving Arms opened to you. I'm sure He has not taken the Holy Spirit from you. As far as evil thoughts, I dare say there isn't one person who proclaims Jesus Christ as Lord who doesn't have an evil thought from time to time. Read I John 1:9. Jesus is faithful and He is Loving. Let me ask you a question. If you had a child who was learning to walk, stumbled while learning, would you throw that child out of your life, because he/she fell? I don't think so. Same is with our Loving Heavenly Father. He would no more throw you His child out of His Life then you would throw your child out. Man never fully understands the extent of God's Love for us. His Grace and Mercy covers us, knowing that we will stumble from time to time. Jesus went to the Cross for sins, past, present, and future. So like a doctor I perscribe at least four Gospills per day and rest at His Feet. Jesus Loves You and so do we here at CB. We cover you with our prayers. Love you in Jesus Name, Pastor Les.

 

[Endzone]

Would you all pray for me today? I was blind side punched in the face by a young black thug in downtown Ft. Worth about a week ago. I called the police, but by the time they caught up to him they refused to do anything to him. They made up a story that he never even hit me. I have some loss of peripheral vision in my left eye. They say this is usually a retinal tear in the eye which could lead to blindness. It's suppossed to be fixed right away, but I don't have the money now. I am thinking about going to see a doctor to see if they will let me make payments. I don't know what to do. I sometimes wonder if my life is under a curse given all the things that have happened to me the last 3 or 4 months. The Holy Spirit departed from me, the demonic spirits are stronger, I am very sick physically and not this eye problem. If I could know for sure I wasn't going to go to hell, I wouldn't even cared if I died now. Thank you for praying about this eye problem for me. Blessings, Endzone.

Isn't this a good picture? I found it on my photo share site. I didn't take it.

 

[pastorlesofm]

Would you all pray for me today? I was blind side punched in the face by a young black thug in downtown Ft. Worth about a week ago. I called the police, but by the time they caught up to him they refused to do anything to him. They made up a story that he never even hit me. I have some loss of peripheral vision in my left eye. They say this is usually a retinal tear in the eye which could lead to blindness. It's suppossed to be fixed right away, but I don't have the money now. I am thinking about going to see a doctor to see if they will let me make payments. I don't know what to do. I sometimes wonder if my life is under a curse given all the things that have happened to me the last 3 or 4 months. The Holy Spirit departed from me, the demonic spirits are stronger, I am very sick physically and not this eye problem. If I could know for sure I wasn't going to go to hell, I wouldn't even cared if I died now. Thank you for praying about this eye problem for me. Blessings, Endzone.

Isn't this a good picture? I found it on my photo share site. I didn't take it.

Dear Brother rest assured that you are in all our prayers here at CB. Here is a thought from God's Word. Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV; Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. v.6; In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. v.7 Be not wise in thine own eyes;fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
I wonder how much time do you spend at the Feet of Jesus, reading His Word, talking to Him, and Listening to Him? You know He will always come through for you, ask Him to give you the boldness and wisdom to walk through the doors He opens to you. This will be in my prayer for you. Remember we have all been created by Him and for Him, (for His Purpose), ask Him to guide you into that purpose He has for you. He has designed a path for all of us to walk, He designed it for each of us to get to His Purpose for us, but we must seek Him and if we truly seek Him with our hearts we will find Him, and finding Him is not because He is lost, but many times it is us who are lost, until we find Him. This takes time in prayer, calling upon His Holy Spirit to guide us and counsel us through God's Word. He will if we ask , my brother. He said in His Word "I'll never leave you nor foresake you". He walks through our hard times as well as our good times with us, and meets us on the other side to say "Well done my good and faithful servant.". God has alot in store for you my brother, seek Him and He will lead you to His purpose for Him. Remember in watching a parade we see the middle of the parade, but He sees the begining, middle, and end of the parade. God loves you and so do all of us here at CB. Go forward in Jesus Name.

 

[WhiteKnuckle]

I can't say if you are going to hell or not, that's not my place to judge.

But, I have been in that exact same spot. (I believe I mentioned it in my earlier post) At one time I seriously thought I commited the unpardonable sin. I felt like God turned his back on me. I fell to my knees and cried like a little girl that just got stung by a bee.

I ended up having a nervous breakdown. My mind just snapped. I suffered for over a decade with this worry and fear. It was so bad, I began to neglect myself, and started drinking to try to medicate the problem. I became an alcoholic. I almost destroyed my marriage and everything else good in my life.

Everything I did seemed to fail or work against me. I felt like a complete failure and a loser. I hated myself and my life. I resented everyone around me. I became mean and hateful. I was just a walking time bomb and it was only a matter of time before I crossed the point of no return.

I grew up abused and neglected. I was denied medical care at times growing up. (despite being on medicaid, LOL) I had back problems and was supposed to wear a brace, but was denied. So, I have a "trick" back. I spent some time being homeless as a teen ager, and living at various places I could find. Even before the whole family lived in a homeless shelter for most of a school year.

The Lord always provided people outside of my "home" that provided love and a safe place at just the right times. That showed me another side of life that I otherwise wouldn't have known and shaped me into who I am now.

Even before I quit drinking I heard a voice in my head, (I don't have inner monologue much, I'm a visual thinker) It said, "You don't have much time! I wont put up with this for much longer!" I knew without a doubt that it was the Lord. He helped me quit drinking.

Shortly afterwards, people on this forum helped me understand some things and my fears of the unpardonable sin were 98% diminished. It still lingers out of habit, but It's controlable.

I thought things were going great. Then I got laid off of my job. I thought, "Well, ain't this a little backwards? Shouldn't I be promoted?" LOL, I was laid off for 6 months. But, it was a much needed rest from the stress and responsibilities of work. It gave me time where I had no worries, no schedule. I felt bad because I didn't spend any time studying the Bible or in prayer.
I sat around playing cards and watching TV. I spent alot of time thinking and re-evaluating my entire life.

What I did right, what I did wrong, Where I wanted to go from there. I ran the gammit the whole way through from start to finish. All the weight lifted off of my shoulders, I had no worries or concerns. It was a much needed rest.

Even after all this in my short life, I'm still not sure that I would be able to handle a catastrophe, as in if one of my kids died, or my wife died.

There's still many areas of my life that need fixed. I'm still foul mouthed, and lustfull, and sometimes vengeful, and angery. But, all in all, my life is now for the better. I know I get disciplined for my mistakes, but I know God does that because He loves me. I know for a fact that the Lord will take my life from me before I do anything that would damn me forever.

Know the Lord is there, and try not to worry, and try as you can to relax, rest, and think. I promise there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

 

[pastorlesofm]

I can't say if you are going to hell or not, that's not my place to judge.

But, I have been in that exact same spot. (I believe I mentioned it in my earlier post) At one time I seriously thought I commited the unpardonable sin. I felt like God turned his back on me. I fell to my knees and cried like a little girl that just got stung by a bee.

I ended up having a nervous breakdown. My mind just snapped. I suffered for over a decade with this worry and fear. It was so bad, I began to neglect myself, and started drinking to try to medicate the problem. I became an alcoholic. I almost destroyed my marriage and everything else good in my life.

Everything I did seemed to fail or work against me. I felt like a complete failure and a loser. I hated myself and my life. I resented everyone around me. I became mean and hateful. I was just a walking time bomb and it was only a matter of time before I crossed the point of no return.

I grew up abused and neglected. I was denied medical care at times growing up. (despite being on medicaid, LOL) I had back problems and was supposed to wear a brace, but was denied. So, I have a "trick" back. I spent some time being homeless as a teen ager, and living at various places I could find. Even before the whole family lived in a homeless shelter for most of a school year.

The Lord always provided people outside of my "home" that provided love and a safe place at just the right times. That showed me another side of life that I otherwise wouldn't have known and shaped me into who I am now.

Even before I quit drinking I heard a voice in my head, (I don't have inner monologue much, I'm a visual thinker) It said, "You don't have much time! I wont put up with this for much longer!" I knew without a doubt that it was the Lord. He helped me quit drinking.

Shortly afterwards, people on this forum helped me understand some things and my fears of the unpardonable sin were 98% diminished. It still lingers out of habit, but It's controlable.

I thought things were going great. Then I got laid off of my job. I thought, "Well, ain't this a little backwards? Shouldn't I be promoted?" LOL, I was laid off for 6 months. But, it was a much needed rest from the stress and responsibilities of work. It gave me time where I had no worries, no schedule. I felt bad because I didn't spend any time studying the Bible or in prayer.
I sat around playing cards and watching TV. I spent alot of time thinking and re-evaluating my entire life.

What I did right, what I did wrong, Where I wanted to go from there. I ran the gammit the whole way through from start to finish. All the weight lifted off of my shoulders, I had no worries or concerns. It was a much needed rest.

Even after all this in my short life, I'm still not sure that I would be able to handle a catastrophe, as in if one of my kids died, or my wife died.

There's still many areas of my life that need fixed. I'm still foul mouthed, and lustfull, and sometimes vengeful, and angery. But, all in all, my life is now for the better. I know I get disciplined for my mistakes, but I know God does that because He loves me. I know for a fact that the Lord will take my life from me before I do anything that would damn me forever.

Know the Lord is there, and try not to worry, and try as you can to relax, rest, and think. I promise there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Thank you Whiteknuckle, God richly bless you.

 

[Endzone]

Thank you Pastor Les. Before this trauma started in my life these past 4 months, I would probably spend at least an hour in prayer every day. In fact for the past 33 years of my life, I would say this is about my average. Many times during the day I would fall to my knees in prayer. I would pray in my car at breaks during work. I didn't dare go to work without praying. I have been afflicted by a demonic spirit of music harassment for 33 years. It started after the height of my rebellion against God when I was 20, and it has continued to this day. This has kept me on my knees. I loved the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit and the Lord Jesus anyway. I loved to be in His presence. I had much security in the Lord's leading in my life. But Pastor Les I have always had a problem submitting my life to authority because of the experiences I had with authority when I was a child and teen. I eventually grew to hate authority and was a mad man with rebellion against my dad starting when I was 15. I eventually became demon possessed. I too like whiteknuckle thought I had comitted the unpardonable sin. Satan uses this tactic over and over because it is so effective I guess. Thanks for quoting Proverbs 3:5,6. Trust has been a big problem for me too. I tried to please my parents when I was a kid, but it was all authority and no love. But, I can't blame them entirely. I just wanted to indulge my flesh a little bit too I guess. The huge sexual problem was because I had a hard time trusting the Lord with this area of my life too. How could a demon possessed guy like me have an good intimate relationship with a woman in a marriage relationship? So, I made the stupid decision to get off into illicit sex. I was a virgin until I was 28. And 25 years ago, I was a pretty good looking guy--just like ya'll. A lot of women wanted to go out with me, but I REJECTED MYSELF as being not good enough to date them--especially the really cute girls.

But I'll tell you something. How I would love to just be able to go back and be that 14 or 15 year old kid again and just stay humbly submitted to my parents and God's authority. I wonder if I could do that now. There just doesn't seem to be anything to go back to now. It seems like it is too late in the game to me. My sins have destroyed my life. I am a walking time bomb now with the strong demonic presence and the quenching of the Holy Spirit. I walk in almost constant fear from a demonic spirit of fear tormenting me. Little things bother me and can easily set me off. I am surrounded by darkness. But I was so blessed by what Whitekknuckle said when he said that God would take him out of this life before he would allow him to stay and be cast into hell. I wish I could live a perfectly submitted life to the Lord Jesus Christ. But I just don't know if I can do it. I have tried. I have prayed and cried out to God to be delivered from this sexual stuff for over 25 years. Yet there is a part of my flesh that still wants it. But I don't know if I can be submitted to Jesus now or not. My life is so damaged. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? This sexual thing was such a huge part of my life. Anyway, thanks for listening. I'm tired now. I'll would like to reply to whiteknuckle a little later.

Thanks.

 

[fivesense]

Keeping up with you endzone. It is difficult to mind the things that oppress you since they are mostly identical to what I once was under. I also found myself at the end of my rope, living in a motel linen closet, broke, destitute and being targeted for death by a NYC drug dealer. The way out was simple, but not really. It was traumatic. There was a thin line that day of decision for me, the one voice saying, Jump to your death, you loser, and the other voice saying, I have a plan for you, give up and trust me.

I pray O Father of Lights, that Endzone finds that peace you died for. That the surpassing greatness of the plan you have for his life may be uncovered and brought to light for all to see, to witness, that his confidence will be in you and not himself. Show yourself powerful Father, and bring him into the adoption fully and equip him for service to us. We need him for all that you have done in his life. Nothing has been wasted, but reserved as a testimony of Your faithfulness to him. He is broken Father, allow your mercy to overtake his soul, your word to mend his mind, your life to fill his heart, and establish him according to your plan and purpose that You declared in the heavens from before the disruption of the world. In the name of your blessed Son, I ask these things of you.


Hang on Endzone

fivesense

 

[pastorlesofm]

Keeping up with you endzone. It is difficult to mind the things that oppress you since they are mostly identical to what I once was under. I also found myself at the end of my rope, living in a motel linen closet, broke, destitute and being targeted for death by a NYC drug dealer. The way out was simple, but not really. It was traumatic. There was a thin line that day of decision for me, the one voice saying, Jump to your death, you loser, and the other voice saying, I have a plan for you, give up and trust me.

I pray O Father of Lights, that Endzone finds that peace you died for. That the surpassing greatness of the plan you have for his life may be uncovered and brought to light for all to see, to witness, that his confidence will be in you and not himself. Show yourself powerful Father, and bring him into the adoption fully and equip him for service to us. We need him for all that you have done in his life. Nothing has been wasted, but reserved as a testimony of Your faithfulness to him. He is broken Father, allow your mercy to overtake his soul, your word to mend his mind, your life to fill his heart, and establish him according to your plan and purpose that You declared in the heavens from before the disruption of the world. In the name of your blessed Son, I ask these things of you.


Hang on Endzone

fivesense

Bless You Fivesense, I prayed that prayer in agreement with you. Thank you for your testimony of the Lord's Faithfulness and Goodness. Yes I believe that the Lord does want to use Endzone in a mighty way. I pray he will seek the Lord's direction for his life. He can overcome his addiction in Jesus Name, and We are believing he will to the Glory of God. Keep up the good work.

 

[Endzone]

I can't say if you are going to hell or not, that's not my place to judge.

But, I have been in that exact same spot. (I believe I mentioned it in my earlier post) At one time I seriously thought I commited the unpardonable sin. I felt like God turned his back on me. I fell to my knees and cried like a little girl that just got stung by a bee.

I ended up having a nervous breakdown. My mind just snapped. I suffered for over a decade with this worry and fear. It was so bad, I began to neglect myself, and started drinking to try to medicate the problem. I became an alcoholic. I almost destroyed my marriage and everything else good in my life.

Everything I did seemed to fail or work against me. I felt like a complete failure and a loser. I hated myself and my life. I resented everyone around me. I became mean and hateful. I was just a walking time bomb and it was only a matter of time before I crossed the point of no return.

I grew up abused and neglected. I was denied medical care at times growing up. (despite being on medicaid, LOL) I had back problems and was supposed to wear a brace, but was denied. So, I have a "trick" back. I spent some time being homeless as a teen ager, and living at various places I could find. Even before the whole family lived in a homeless shelter for most of a school year.

The Lord always provided people outside of my "home" that provided love and a safe place at just the right times. That showed me another side of life that I otherwise wouldn't have known and shaped me into who I am now.

Even before I quit drinking I heard a voice in my head, (I don't have inner monologue much, I'm a visual thinker) It said, "You don't have much time! I wont put up with this for much longer!" I knew without a doubt that it was the Lord. He helped me quit drinking.

Shortly afterwards, people on this forum helped me understand some things and my fears of the unpardonable sin were 98% diminished. It still lingers out of habit, but It's controlable.

I thought things were going great. Then I got laid off of my job. I thought, "Well, ain't this a little backwards? Shouldn't I be promoted?" LOL, I was laid off for 6 months. But, it was a much needed rest from the stress and responsibilities of work. It gave me time where I had no worries, no schedule. I felt bad because I didn't spend any time studying the Bible or in prayer.
I sat around playing cards and watching TV. I spent alot of time thinking and re-evaluating my entire life.

What I did right, what I did wrong, Where I wanted to go from there. I ran the gammit the whole way through from start to finish. All the weight lifted off of my shoulders, I had no worries or concerns. It was a much needed rest.

Even after all this in my short life, I'm still not sure that I would be able to handle a catastrophe, as in if one of my kids died, or my wife died.

There's still many areas of my life that need fixed. I'm still foul mouthed, and lustfull, and sometimes vengeful, and angery. But, all in all, my life is now for the better. I know I get disciplined for my mistakes, but I know God does that because He loves me. I know for a fact that the Lord will take my life from me before I do anything that would damn me forever.

Know the Lord is there, and try not to worry, and try as you can to relax, rest, and think. I promise there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Thanks for your testimony Whiteknuckle. Man you have really been through it. It's funny how the Lord takes certain things from us when we are saved and yet other things are a huge battle to overcome. When I turned my life over to Jesus, cussing was the first thing to go. It just dropped off of me. But of course in the sexual area, that has been a tremendous battle.

Anyway, brother I'm so glad you made it. I'm so glad you are still with us. And thank God you were able to quit drinking. And that issue with the unpardonable sin, is used by Satan over and over and over. I've read so many stories in books and on the internet and talked to brothers in person who went through this thing of thinking they had comitted the unpardonable sin. In fact I talked with a beautiful young woman at the downtown Barnes & Noble here about a month ago who thought she had done the same thing. She was going to the Southwest Seminary school here in Ft. Worth. Satan is a liar, and he wants us to think there is no hope. When I was 16, I was in my parents basement at their house in Cincinnati, Ohio reading my Bible. I was really seeking the Lord Jesus Christ, and I realize now Jesus was drawing me to Himself. I desperately wanted to find unconditional love. But I read the passage where Jesus said, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me". When I read that I became angry. I thought to myself that Jesus and God are both tyrants just like my dad is. They want everything and are going to leave me as a slave with nothing. I slammed my Bible down on the ground and I said, "I don't want your f****** life!!!". I was terrified after I had done it. I thought I had comitted the unpardonable sin. It thought it was over before it even got started. I did not understand the love of God at all. I thought God was just a terribly demanding God who would treat his people like slaves. I was obviously deceived. I talked with several pastors about it, and they all said they didn't think I had comitted the unpardonable sin. I prayed about for a few years, and I believed the Lord told me I didn't committ that sin. But I continued on in my rebellion against authority and just partied like crazy. Eventually I had a problem with demonic spirits at the age of 20 that continues to this day. But at the age of 20 I wholeheartedly comitted my life to the Lord. And like you the enemy was always saying, well maybe there is a slight chance you really did committ that sin and that's why you've having so much trouble now. It's a lie. It's a complete lie. You didn't commit that sin.

I just watched a show on cable about the Cook County Prison in Chicago. My God I'm so grateful I'm not in a place like that. It is a place where violence is the rule of the day. A place where people seem to only care about themselves. A place where there is no human compassion or mercy or so it seems to me. A place where people have never been broken before the Lord and surrendered to Jesus Christ. A place where there is hardly any love. It's almost like hell, but not quite.

Pastor les I will be praying about your diabetes. I will check in later. The Lord bless you all and thank you for your prayers! Jesus loves us!

 

[fivesense]

Endzone;

I am offering this to you for consideration. You may not find it helpful, and it you may disregard it.

When Messiah came to His own, and they received Him not, and after the Pentecostal testimony of the Twelve remained unacceptable to the majority of Jews, the writer of Hebrews wrote to the remaining believers and said it would be impossible for those who had tasted of the of the good word of God, the Lords teachings, and the heavenly gift of Messiah on earth, operating in Holy Spirit, and the powers of the world to come under Christ's reign, to renew them again unto repentance. (Heb 6:4-6) All who saw the Messiah's works with their own eyes, are accountable to the Covenant. Denying Christ and His words and deeds, while seeing Him face to face, is an unpardonable sin. It is the unpardonable sin. There is no other. The Holy Spirit testified through our Lord and they refused Him and it.

Unless you were a Jew, walking amongst your people, seeing Christ in flesh, hearing His words, seeing His works, you could not have possibly committed the unpardonable sin. It is the personal loss of the promises to the Fathers, the loss of being part of the former resurrection of the dead, and the condemnation of the second death. All the result of not believing on the Holy Spirit while Christ was on earth for you to see, had you been Jewish.

Those of the nations cannot commit this sin. It is not possible to be elect, chosen and justified outright by God through faith, and then have God back out on the deal. You were saved by His mercy and grace without works of repentance and rites. It will remain that way til death or translation into Christ's image. Blessed indeed are they which believe, and have not seen. And such we are.

He is faithful and abides faithful, even though we may not. If we are His Body, and members in particular, we can do nothing to sever that tie.

2Ti 2:13 If we believe not, [yet] he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.

Trust in God does not go unrewarded. Faith, and believing God, is above all things in the age we are in now. Keep on in your faith, you have never committed the unpardonable sin.

fivesense

 

[Endzone]

Thanks fivesense. I know I did not commit the unpardonable sin. I really hope I can just die. I really don't think I can beat this sexual addiction sin. It is like heroin to me. But life out on the streets just carrying a bag around and being dirty and hungry and sick all the time is also a horrible life. I only experienced it for a couple of months. I would much rather die than live like that. And after seeing that documentary on the prison in Chicago, I would much rather die than be in a place like that. My life has been destroyed by sin, and I am in almost all darkness. The Holy Spirit has been quenched. I am full of demons and my tolerance for things is very low. I am physically sick with this bowel problem and I have contractions and burning all day long. I have chronic fatigue and I have a damaged eye. My retina is probably damaged, but I don't have insurance. I just need to talk to somebody I guess. I hope I can die. This pain is more than I can bear, but I greatly fear going to hell. My only hope is that I will not go to hell. Thanks for just letting me talk.

Endzone

 

[fivesense]

Endzone.

My heart is sunk, and there is nothing to do to change the past. Every moment we spend looking behind is a cloud to shut our eyes to the future. God has a goal. It is to become All in all. He has chosen you to fulfill that goal in advance. He does not choose and set apart to Himself beautiful people, strong and confident ones. These are too easily seen as examples of human achievement and glorified as man's best of the best. God is dismissed as uneeded and of no consequence when man can change himself into the image of God. If the Lord does not build the house, in vain do the laborers labor.

You are a living epistle, a testimony of the Christ seeking to subject all things unto Himself in reconciliation. It is a process, not the end. You have been elected out from among many to experience spiritual realities that are not seen. The forces that oppose God are many and wicked. You are in the midst of it for a reason. The flesh is not and cannot submit to God, and God is not keeping track of what sins you have or will commit. He will use them however, to accomplish His puposes and reach His ultimate goal for you and for everyone, to become All things to all people.

The degree of bondage you are experiencing has no correlation to His operating in you. It is what you acknowledge as being through and of Him that is being established for all to see. There are many "ugly" people in the ranks. He is having it that way, so the power and the glory may be of God, and not us.

When the wicked forces are as strong as the ones you describe, the battles are equally as vicious. These forces must come into subjection, however long it takes, and you are appointed to take hold of the truth and maintain your ground, whether you have victory or not. It is through the Body that these spiritual forces are and will be reconciled unto God. jIt is for the purposes of God in His display of truth. Endzone may fall down, he may fail completely, but his Christ, his God, and seeing Him face to face, is what is to be foremost on his mind. It is not about failure, it is about returning to God in faith and humility. The battle belongs to the Lord.

"Woe is me, I wish to be dead, to avoid these evils". All who are called and chosen must die, and that is the solution. It is resisting co-death with Christ that causes pain and suffering in trials. A dead man is not concerned with what happens in life. If you have any life at all, it is to be His, operating in you. You no longer have your own. Yield to Him in everything, acknowledge His hand in all things good and evil, and seek Him for the next sequel to the drama that is unfolding. He achievement are we, created unto good works, assigned to us from before the foundation of the world.

Did He not know these things would be happening to you? Do you believe He has no next step for you to follow, but intends on leaving you helpless and without resolve? No, emphatically no. He operates all according to the counsel of His own will, and you are in the spotlight of His designs as an adopted Son. Participate in the liberation of your new man by appealing to the truth, and denying the refuse of death any place in the matter. It is for nothing, and is not relevent. Press on in faith, that He has a plan for you, in spite of today's evidence against you. He is not concerned with the evidence, He has already set you before Himself as justified, not guilty, for you have sworn to Him that you are unable to attain in the flesh what is required to be like Him. If He does not perform it in you , it is not real, and will fail assuredly.

The grieving of Holy Spirit does not remove it's powerful operation in you. It is only the mark of a God Who is in love with His creation. The Spirit that is grieved is also the Spirit that seals us completely til the day of redemption. None but the Christ can remove or open seals that God has put in place. Yield to it, embrace it, allow it to minister to you, in spite of how you perceive yourself. It is not for you, but for Him Who is seeking to become All in all.

I am in earnest prayer for you. Please believe me.

fivesense

 

[pastorlesofm]

Brother Endzone, you know when Jesus came to the crippled man by the pool , He asked the man what he would have Jesus do for him. I dare say that Jesus knew what was to be done, but He asked the man in what I see; " Are you sure you want to walk? because when you do, it will mean you will be able to do for yourself, the help you are asking for you will no longer need." "You have been placed at this pool asking people to put you in it for 30 some odd years, you have been served fish, but now you will be able to fish for yourself.". You know I waddled in homelessness and my past too. Pointed my finger at every excuse I could have given me to justify why I was where I was. Finally, I got hungry, walked to the city shelter for dinner, but was too late, and aide there directed me to the Bowery Mission for an evening meal, but warned me that I would have to sit through a Gospel Service first. Well the Mission was only a few blocks from the shelter, so I went, grabbed a newspaper or two from the corner trash barrels, thinking I could read myself through the service. Well the Lord had another plan, that Gospel service was like it was staged just for me. The hymns, the testimonies, even the sermon went right to my heart. I got a clear look at myself and at the path to the Cross of Jesus Christ. The water works started in my eyes and as they poured I felt a cleansing going on. It wasn't sadness but joy , relief that a heavy burden was just taken from my shoulder. I dashed down to that altar at the altar call, asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life. One of the altar workers asked me if I would like to join the Discipleship Program at the mission. Well I said;" this is too important and if the Lord wants me here, then tomorrow the door to the mission would be opened but He would have to open it. That night I went back to the park, a few of my friends at that moment was panhandleing for quarters for a jug, they asked me to join them and help. I started to go to them, then it was like a hand on my shoulder, and a still small voice saying to me;"You no longer belong to them, you belong to Me.". Well daybreak could not come soon enough. I walked down a side street and as I approached kitty corner to the Mission the big red door opened at that very moment, the rest is history. I have never regretted getting out of my pitty party, asking for fish everyday, and allowing the Lord to make me a fisherman for Him.
Endzone , I pray in agreement with Fivesense and also ask that you take another look at the Cross of Jesus Christ, there is nothing in your life that Jesus and You as a team can't overcome, and you can be free and a new creature in Him. Love you in Jesus Name..

 

[fivesense]

Brother Endzone, you know when Jesus came to the crippled man by the pool , He asked the man what he would have Jesus do for him. I dare say that Jesus knew what was to be done, but He asked the man in what I see; " Are you sure you want to walk? because when you do, it will mean you will be able to do for yourself, the help you are asking for you will no longer need." "You have been placed at this pool asking people to put you in it for 30 some odd years, you have been served fish, but now you will be able to fish for yourself.". You know I waddled in homelessness and my past too. Pointed my finger at every excuse I could have given me to justify why I was where I was. Finally, I got hungry, walked to the city shelter for dinner, but was too late, and aide there directed me to the Bowery Mission for an evening meal, but warned me that I would have to sit through a Gospel Service first. Well the Mission was only a few blocks from the shelter, so I went, grabbed a newspaper or two from the corner trash barrels, thinking I could read myself through the service. Well the Lord had another plan, that Gospel service was like it was staged just for me. The hymns, the testimonies, even the sermon went right to my heart. I got a clear look at myself and at the path to the Cross of Jesus Christ. The water works started in my eyes and as they poured I felt a cleansing going on. It wasn't sadness but joy , relief that a heavy burden was just taken from my shoulder. I dashed down to that altar at the altar call, asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life. One of the altar workers asked me if I would like to join the Discipleship Program at the mission. Well I said;" this is too important and if the Lord wants me here, then tomorrow the door to the mission would be opened but He would have to open it. That night I went back to the park, a few of my friends at that moment was panhandleing for quarters for a jug, they asked me to join them and help. I started to go to them, then it was like a hand on my shoulder, and a still small voice saying to me;"You no longer belong to them, you belong to Me.". Well daybreak could not come soon enough. I walked down a side street and as I approached kitty corner to the Mission the big red door opened at that very moment, the rest is history. I have never regretted getting out of my pitty party, asking for fish everyday, and allowing the Lord to make me a fisherman for Him.
Endzone , I pray in agreement with Fivesense and also ask that you take another look at the Cross of Jesus Christ, there is nothing in your life that Jesus and You as a team can't overcome, and you can be free and a new creature in Him. Love you in Jesus Name..

Read this again Endzone, this is Truth for you, personally.
fivesense

 

[truthquest]

Endzone...You remind me of my youngest son, even though we are the same age. He is 27 and has always had a problem with authority. This is not because his Father and I did not love him or show it, though. He was prone to frequent outbursts and had a temper problem. He was diagnosed with ADD when he was a teenager and was taking Welbutrin for a while, which did seem to help him. He was very rebellious toward authority, even to his dad and me, or should I say especially toward us.
Anyway...to make a long story short, one day he took off hitchhiking to California and was homeless there. I was worried sick about him all the time. He was beaten up and mugged on the beach one night. Finally, he found a mission that took him and he was on a year program. He was doing well with this and almost completed the program but got into a fight with a man there and was kicked out. He has moved back to the Southeast.
He has spoken of having demons and being unable to fight against them. He does love the bible and he loves God. He has been going to church since he was a baby. I pray for him constantly.
I made a slideshow about him that I was thinking to try to post here but I don't know if the link will work. And if I do, you may not be able to hear the words and music if you use the computer at a library. I will check to see if the link works...This is a song called, "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns.
http://www.onetrueme...ee8a0ae073f78f1

The link seems to work fine. I hope this video will be a blessing to you. And I am praying for you.
Take care of yourself. Empty yourself and totally submit, give this all to God. Let him handle it.
Isa. 46: [sup]4[/sup]Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you!I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you.

 

[Endzone]

Did He not know these things would be happening to you? Do you believe He has no next step for you to follow, but intends on leaving you helpless and without resolve? No, emphatically no. He operates all according to the counsel of His own will, and you are in the spotlight of His designs as an adopted Son. Participate in the liberation of your new man by appealing to the truth, and denying the refuse of death any place in the matter. It is for nothing, and is not relevent. Press on in faith, that He has a plan for you, in spite of today's evidence against you. He is not concerned with the evidence, He has already set you before Himself as justified, not guilty, for you have sworn to Him that you are unable to attain in the flesh what is required to be like Him. If He does not perform it in you , it is not real, and will fail assuredly.

Thank you Fivesense. You are right. The Lord knew all this before it even happened. He knows things before they even come to pass. And thank you Pastor Les for your testimony. Thank God you were open to receiving the light of Jesus Christ in your life. I am no longer homeless now as my parents just insisted that I get a place to stay. I am staying in one of the cheaper monthly hotels now, but it is so much better than being homless. I hated being homeless.

Yes I have thought about the guy at the pool of Bethesda. I did get comfortable in my sin even though I said time and time again to the Lord that I desperately wanted out of it and that I would do anything to get out of it. I'm scared now. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? My life is ruined by this sexual sin. There is no going back now. It's not possible to have a relationship with a woman.

Today I went to church and a home group, but today was a tormenting day of being attacked by the demonic spirit of fear. I live in a world now bear brothers and sisters where everything is dark. I have the fear, I am not alive, I many times feel like walking death. I snap easily and my tolerance for things is reduced. I am highly demonized. I am at my worst in the morning, but I do seem to get better as the day goes on. I desperately wish Jesus would come back and these demons would be cast out. I just wish my daddy would love me like a father loves his little child. I want my daddy to hold me. I want me daddy to hug me and kiss me and tell me he loves me and everything will be alright. I do not want these demons that hate me.

Thank you again so much for your thoughtful and encouraging words. Would it be alright if I check in every few days? Would the moderators object? If so, that is alright. I don't know how long this will go on in my life. But, I just desperately hope it will not be years or even until the end of my life.

I'm going to go see an eye doctor about my eye tomorrow to see if the retina is torn. As serious a problem as that is, it's the least of my worries now. Thank you dear brothers on this board for caring so much and your very thoughtful and insightful post.

The Lord Jesus bless you. Endzone. (Craig in Ft. Worth)

 

[Endzone]

I was reading a commentary by Charles Spurgeon on the meaning of Proverbs 18:14:

The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear.

Spurgeon's commentary is very insightful. Here is part of it:

Yet do I not wish to speak of that kind of wounded spirit alone for that is rather the business of the physician than of the divine. Still, it well illustrates this latter part of our text, “a wounded spirit, who can bear?” But this is the kind of wounded spirit I mean. When a soul is under a deep and terrible sense of sin —when conviction flashes into the mind with lightning swiftness and force, and the man says, “I am guilty;” when the notion of what guilt is first comes clearly home to him and he sees that God must be as certainly just as he is good, then he discovers that he has angered infinite love, that he has provoked almighty grace, and that he has made his best Friend to be, necessarily, his most terrible foe. A man in such a condition as that will have a wounded spirit such as none can bear. Then you may pipe to him, but he will not dance; you may try to charm him with your amusements, or to please him with your oratory, but you cannot give him peace or rest. “A wounded spirit, who can bear?” You know that there was one of old who said, “My soul chooseth strangling and death rather than my life,” and there was another, Judas, who actually did strangle himself under an awful sense of his guilt in betraying his Lord. Oh! I do trust that no one of you will act as he did, for that were to damn yourself irretrievably; but I do not wonder that you cry out, “Oh, that I could hide myself in the dust to escape from the terrors of a sense of divine wrath!” “A wounded spirit, who can bear?”

Here is the link:
http://www.biblebb.com/files/spurgeon/2494.htm

I found homelessness in my situation to be almost unbearable. The best time of the day was at night where I could go to the place that I slept (outside) and try to forget the struggles of the day. This irritable bowel is a chronic illness. But the worst part is not being able to fellowship with Jesus anymore and not having the sweet comfort of the Holy Spirit. I can't bear this wounded spirit and my infirmities. Spurgeon does give some encouragement at the end. He says that God still loves us, and that we should continue to seek to be restored to him.

Today I go to the eye doctor to see if there is damage to my retina from the blind side punch I received from this young black thug in downtown Ft. Worth.

I think all my friends are afriad of me now. A lot of them were only fair weather friends anyway. They don't want any of what I'm going through to get on them. And most of them quite frankly just don't understand what I'm going through. They can't get the concept of the Holy Spirit departing and demonic spirits increasing. I Samuel 16:14. This would make for an interesting study too for you folks on this board. People do not understand the life of King Saul in the OT. He is rarely if ever talked about in the church today. There is also a controversy about whether Samuel actually appreared to Saul when Saul went to see the witch of Endor. And it makes all the difference in the world beacause Samuel said, "Tomorrow you shall be with me". Well, if it was a demonic spirit, Saul will be in hell. If it was Samuel, Saul will be heaven. Nothing could matter more than that. I believe it was Samuel. Thanks for listening.