In Christendom, Nothing Is More Totally Wrong on Every Level Than … the idea of unconditional love.
I was reminded of this error in a small group at church last week. A woman was sharing her relationship with her son. She spoke out of both sides of her mouth. Paying lip service to loving her son, she spoke to the obligatory preface, “of course, I love my son.” Yet, confessed she’d love him more if he did things that were right. So, it is with all of us.
My than a decade ago I wrote a detailed analysis to a Pastor. Predictably, he had no response. If there is one word I wish I never heard again in church is love for the emotional manipulation is appalling; If you love X, you’ll do Y. <sigh> The flaw was exposed in that letter a decade ago and there is no defense for error. The error has 2 poisonous roots, logical and psychological (emotional manipulation).
You cannot use words inventing a “sense” contrary to the normal sense of the word. And there is no reason to define words that create contradictions. In fact, doing so is contrary to reason. There is a much better word for the Greek word “agape,” compassion.
I reject the idea that it is some failure on our part, such as insufficiently disciplined or not fully embracing the fruit of the Spirit. What does our Lord say?
If you want to be great, you must be the servant of all the others.
Matthew 20:26
Notice the conditional statement, “if?” People love greatness. They yearn to be virtuous and love it in others. And it is inherently conditional. Regarding the psychological error, from Definition of LOVE
Notice how affection is at the heart of love’s oldest sense of meaning? What does affection mean?
Feelings are automatic responses. It is irrational to hold people to their automatic responses, dictating emotion. Some people I just don’t feel that connection, that affection. Doesn’t mean I cannot have compassion for their plight.
I was so glad to read a book my Pastor wrote, Grace and Truth, where she admitted she does not love her children equally. <SHOCK & HORROR> She clarified that she loves them fully and uniquely. This is my experience. I hold that anyone who claims to love everyone equally is fooling themselves.
Thoughts?
I was reminded of this error in a small group at church last week. A woman was sharing her relationship with her son. She spoke out of both sides of her mouth. Paying lip service to loving her son, she spoke to the obligatory preface, “of course, I love my son.” Yet, confessed she’d love him more if he did things that were right. So, it is with all of us.
My than a decade ago I wrote a detailed analysis to a Pastor. Predictably, he had no response. If there is one word I wish I never heard again in church is love for the emotional manipulation is appalling; If you love X, you’ll do Y. <sigh> The flaw was exposed in that letter a decade ago and there is no defense for error. The error has 2 poisonous roots, logical and psychological (emotional manipulation).
You cannot use words inventing a “sense” contrary to the normal sense of the word. And there is no reason to define words that create contradictions. In fact, doing so is contrary to reason. There is a much better word for the Greek word “agape,” compassion.
- For God has such compassion for the world that he gave is only begotten son.
- Compassion is patient, kind. Compassion does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Compassion bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
- Have compassion for your enemies.
I reject the idea that it is some failure on our part, such as insufficiently disciplined or not fully embracing the fruit of the Spirit. What does our Lord say?
If you want to be great, you must be the servant of all the others.
Matthew 20:26
Notice the conditional statement, “if?” People love greatness. They yearn to be virtuous and love it in others. And it is inherently conditional. Regarding the psychological error, from Definition of LOVE
love
noun
ˈləv
1: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
maternal love for a child
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
After all these years, they are still very much in love.
(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
love for his old schoolmates
b : an assurance of affection
give her my love
Notice how affection is at the heart of love’s oldest sense of meaning? What does affection mean?
affection
noun
af·fec·tion ə-ˈfek-shən
1: a feeling of liking and caring for someone or something
Feelings are automatic responses. It is irrational to hold people to their automatic responses, dictating emotion. Some people I just don’t feel that connection, that affection. Doesn’t mean I cannot have compassion for their plight.
I was so glad to read a book my Pastor wrote, Grace and Truth, where she admitted she does not love her children equally. <SHOCK & HORROR> She clarified that she loves them fully and uniquely. This is my experience. I hold that anyone who claims to love everyone equally is fooling themselves.
Thoughts?
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