One day I hope for my skitzaffective disorder to go away ( it went away for 12 years and I got it in my late 20s and it came back). I want to get married someday. I just don't know when I will be better and I will be 45 in 3 years. My parents are my Guardians and they aren't getting any younger. I wish I never had this and was married already. I think who is going to marry me with my background. My younger siblings are married and my sister has children. I wanted to adopt teens one day, but I feel that is out of the picture. I can't get married with being mentally unstable. It will only add to the problem. I hope in a year I will be better. I feel like I won't because every medicine I take does nothing. I feel like an experiment. I'm so bummed. Please pray I get help and one day find a husband who is understanding and cares. When I was good at 10 years my psychtrist said I don't see a problem with you dating now it's been so long you haven't had problems. My episode the other day was really bad. I'm so sad.
