Need Some Advise On Reconciliation

[Fire-7]

I'm wanting to begin on a serious journey of reconciliation but I don't want to discuss it here in public.

It is a family member I'm wanting to reconcile with... and you don't have to be a therapist or anyone professional, just someone who has enough maturity/wisdom/life-experience to give their input. All genuine responses are welcomed. Please inbox me and I will give you the story.

 

[rand]

I may not be the perfect one to give advice on this subject, but it is an area God is working in me. For what it's worth, I'll share what I have learned so far.

You have to forgive. You can never ever hold a grudge. It's one of the crafty ways of the enemy. Never let offence get in your heart. It has something to do with you not forgiving something that God has already forgiven and the effects of that unforgiveness somehow goes back on you.

Also, you have to ask them for forgiveness. This is the real hard part, esp. if you didn't do anything wrong. Ask for forgiveness anyway. If for nothing else, that you let the offence separate the two of you. Just ask for forgiveness. But probably the most important part is to not bring up what they did to offend you, or say anything about how it affected you. If they bring it up, just say something like, 'oh, I've already forgiven you, (without them even asking), and I just need you to forgive me.'

It's never as hard to do as you imagine it is, and once it's done, you will be filled with such joy that you will never let it get to that point again. You will know that beyond any doubt that reconciliation is far better than being offended. Reconciliation: it's the main reason Jesus gave His life.

This is only how you reconcile if the other person knows you are offended. If they don't know, just repent (for being offended and for the unforgiveness) to God and contact the person out of the blue. If they don't know you are holding unforgiveness in your heart, then they don't need to know.

That's about all I got. Hope it helps.

 

[us2are1]

Love covers a multitude of sins. Forgive them and if they don't want to be forgiven forgive them anyway, Pray regularly for them in all honesty but stay away from them.

 

[aspen]

Hey Fire-7,

Glad you are back. I will PM you.

 

[martinlawrencescott]

Don't worry, you don't have to PM me if you don't want to, but if you do I'll gladly read what you're going through.

Ya, reconciliation has to do with forgiveness. Somewhere along the way there was a break in a relationship and you and/or the other party would like it repaired. Sadly, it requires 2 people to restore a relationship and to push it forward, (though a 3rd party can help mediate reconciliation. If you haven't considered this, it could help.) and all you can do is your part. Whether the hurt came from your end or the other person(s'), the establishment of your forgiveness for whatever part they shared in the hurt or break in relationship, is what is most important. That is how you establish you are ready to start over, per say, or start fresh. Now, you can only pray that God would work in their area of hurt so they can reach a place of reconcilable forgiveness as well, even if the forgiveness they need is inward (inward or outward forgiveness has no effective impact on the result of how they reach reconciliation, the hope is that they will anyway). So you can pray, reestablish connection, and verbally state your feelings of forgiveness and want/need to reconcile. After that the ball is in their park.

Say this person hurt you; forgiveness isn't an establishment of trust, which has to be earned and re-earned whenever it is broken. But what forgiveness is saying is, "let's try again and here's hoping things work out better this time." Ya, that's all I got for now.

Blessings in Christ,

M

 

[Strat]

Foregiveness is essential but not all relationships are for life,there is nothing wrong with walking away and realizing that your differences with someone may not be negotiable and that your presence in each other's life may be more of a hinderence and a source of pain than anything else.