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[AlwaysOnAJourney]

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[GRACE ambassador]

Will I ever get to the place to where I totally trust the lord, and feel loved by him, or not.

Still praying for you:

Grace, Peace, Mercy, Love, and JOY!

 

[Nancy]

I think something seems to be really off about me, or is it something else, or both?

There are many times that I fall into lala land. There is something I feel that I should be doing, but I'm not sure what it is. I'm not in the mood for bible reading. I'm not in the mood for praying. I'm not in the mood for reading and writing. But I'm kinda in the mood for talking. Today I tried to get some conversations started and it all just fell off a cliff. Another way of saying it, it didn't go anywhere. Then I started looking at some of my old posts and soon, I was looking at some other people's posts. I just sit here and marveled at how so many other people had stuff to say about it. But I got the feeling like it was all just a waste of time. A chasing after the wind. What I mean is, people and that includes Christians has got so many different ways of looking at things, and so many different ways of reading and applying the Bible. I don't know how anybody can feel secure in their own belief system. How do you know that you don't got things wrong? How do you know that your not very prideful, thinking you got everything right and then soon you die and find out the truth? I don't know where I should be or where I should go.

On my other prayer requests and posts, I've had some really thoughtful replies. Some of them have been too deep for me to digest and participate. Some have been nice and short, and I could participate. And then there were the ones that called me selfish. The people who call me selfish or something similar to that, I got only one thing I can do. Click the ignore button, and go back to posting like I always do.

In my opinion, the holy spirit should be leading me out of this confusion. But I don't feel that He is. I don't know if I will ever get to the point in my life where I stop worrying about my salvation. Will I ever get to the place to where I totally trust the lord, and feel loved by him, or not.

"I don't know where I should be or where I should go." <--- I'm ALWAYS asking this very thing of The Lord. I get silence. But then, I got silence when as a pre teen on when asking for DECADES to remove something from my life. Not a word. Then, when asking for a good bible preaching church that would be welcoming and nourishing spiritual, I get sent to two quite liberal church's!
Forgive me Lord for my attitude as it is not very good lately, I am so sorry. Things are getting harder by the minute it seems but, this we were promised.

Sure wish I had the answers for you brother, then I'd have them too! And yes, I sometimes wonder how so many Christians are so "crystal clear" on scripture when many turn out to be wrong.

I ask the same questions you do Greg, and if someone thinks they got it all figured out, their skating on thin ice!

We are called to suffer for "His" Name sake but, it is not always FOR His sake, is it? I would love to be persecuted for His Name! My true Christian friends are all on here as, the few folks I have gone to church with, do not know their bible and start talking about worldly things like, all the time. No interest.
It's hard when one is alone too, nobody to help with things in life. But, then if you think about it, people like us have to depend on Him even MORE since we have no one to lift us BUT Christ. I am determined to stay in this race, no matter how I "feel" about things. There is no other choice, really.

 

[Wynona]

Still praying

 

[Lambano]

But I got the feeling like it was all just a waste of time. A chasing after the wind. What I mean is, people and that includes Christians has got so many different ways of looking at things, and so many different ways of reading and applying the Bible. I don't know how anybody can feel secure in their own belief system. How do you know that you don't got things wrong? How do you know that you're not very prideful, thinking you got everything right and then soon you die and find out the truth? I don't know where I should be or where I should go.

Yeah. Me neither.

I guess, "The only people who ever get something right are those who trust if they never get anything right, God will still love them." And God help me, I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it.

 

[Lambano]

In my opinion, the holy spirit should be leading me out of this confusion. But I don't feel that He is. I don't know if I will ever get to the point in my life where I stop worrying about my salvation. Will I ever get to the place to where I totally trust the lord, and feel loved by him, or not.

It's hard when one is alone too, nobody to help with things in life. But, then if you think about it, people like us have to depend on Him even MORE since we have no one to lift us BUT Christ. I am determined to stay in this race, no matter how I "feel" about things. There is no other choice, really.

Aw, man.

Nancy, I gotta love your dogged persistence there. That also says volumes.

I said a prayer for both of you. Aw man. I mean, Amen.

 

[Cassandra]

Somehow people have forgotten the God designed us to talk face to face. The purpose of social technology was to solve the problem of distance when people couldn't be in the same room together. Whenever I'm feeling tempted to try Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter again. I quickly remember of how much of life and energy I pored out into those kinds of services, and where it got me. It got me nowhere, but into a darker place in my soul.

Sometimes I think I should blame my learning disability on all of this. But putting blame on it doesn't change my circumstances. It just merely gives me an excuse for why I have a hard time processing the world around me.

The bottom truth is, I have a hard time processing the world around me, and that also probably answers why my heart and brain isn't attracted to debate. It makes me very cautious of giving people answers to their problems. If I can't figure myself out, how can I help someone out of their issues?

I know this was a lot to read. It was a lot to write. Please keep praying. Thanks.

I'll pray for you as well.

But I want you to know this: I love reading your writings. There is a whole lot of me in them. I'm sure there are others who see them selves in your musings as well.
Perhaps this is your ministry.

 

[Nancy]

Aw, man.

Nancy, I gotta love your dogged persistence there. That also says volumes.

I said a prayer for both of you. Aw man. I mean, Amen.

Thanks brother, what a-man! I mean, amen

 

[Nhisname]

Thank you all for your continued prayers.

I realize that I have been using the word "feel" a lot. I do that because I believe that there are some logical reasons behind my feelings on this. As of lately I have been thinking about Christian places on the internet and my original intentions for getting involved with online social sites. It all started when my life changed. I was a member of a Church that was coming apart. (Currently that is where at in my story about why I had to stop going to Church.) Things were coming to an end there, and I started experimenting with Juno Internet. It was a free service paid for my advertising. But they couldn't keep it paid for by advertising. It was enough for me to get a taste of the internet. Cause I am the kind of person that gets curious, I saw some porn images, and I was ready to be done with the internet. Also that was dial up, and we only had one phone line, so it caused issues with that as well.

As the Church was coming apart, things were changing. I was out looking for a job. Got a job, lost the job. Got another job, lost that job. Went through a nervous break down. Kinda got over it, and got the job I currently have. A 2nd shift job, and it was my Dad who suggested that I get online. A service provider known as brightnet came on the scene, and they advertised a porn filter and a spam filter as part of the package. So I went ahead and paid to have a second phone line, and used brightnet as my service provider. The next step was to see if I could meet women online, in hopes that maybe I could find a wife. I looked into dating sites, chatrooms, social sites, and forums. And I got to talk to some women who lived far far away. Some I really liked, and most just disappeared. Actually they all disappeared eventually. But in those early days I could usually find someone new. Currently that isn't happening so much anymore. What conversations I have now days is not nearly as often, and there is no romantic tones to them anymore. These are not single people in my age group anymore.

Through all the various types of social media, I have encountered many different Christian ideas on ways of looking at things. I find it overwhelming, which is part of what prompted me to write this prayer request. As I reflect on my past experiences with the internet and Christianity, I feel like it's lead me into more and more darkness.

I think the darkness comes from several things. I still struggle with loneliness, and my heart and brain is not in debate. There is nothing in me that makes me feel like I need to go around and explain to everyone why I'm right and they are wrong. I don't even like defending myself, if I can avoid it. It seems to me that is what a lot of Christian people are doing now days. They want to go online and spread what they believe, and then someone else comes along and tries to show what that Christian person believes is wrong, and then the first Christian person tries to defend himself, and soon you got this unending circle going on, while the unsaved world looks at as us like we are all nuts. The excuse I have read is. "Iron sharpens Iron". I get lost, I don't know where my place is in all of that mix. I stay safe but lonely by staying out of it. At least the best I can.

Notice I never found a wife, and solved my problem with loneliness? I guess I'm just not ready for that. God only knows.

Now days I have a better internet connection. No longer dial up, thank goodness! Yet the internet hasn't gotten any better. In my opinion it has only gotten worse. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and numerous social like apps have taken over the personal computer smartphone world. It is getting to the place if you don't have a smartphone, your options are declining fast. I still don't use a smartphone. I don't want porn temptation in my pocket! I don't want constant notifications from the big internet socials buzzing me all the time. I hate it that when I try to talk to people in real life, they would rather look down at their smartphones. It makes me sick how humanity has allowed the internet to take control of their lives like this. I don't think we are far from the mark of the beast. First you will need the smartphone to pay for everything, and next just put a chip on you because it is more secure then the insecure smartphone.

Somehow people have forgotten the God designed us to talk face to face. The purpose of social technology was to solve the problem of distance when people couldn't be in the same room together. Whenever I'm feeling tempted to try Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter again. I quickly remember of how much of life and energy I pored out into those kinds of services, and where it got me. It got me nowhere, but into a darker place in my soul.

Sometimes I think I should blame my learning disability on all of this. But putting blame on it doesn't change my circumstances. It just merely gives me an excuse for why I have a hard time processing the world around me.

The bottom truth is, I have a hard time processing the world around me, and that also probably answers why my heart and brain isn't attracted to debate. It makes me very cautious of giving people answers to their problems. If I can't figure myself out, how can I help someone out of their issues?

I know this was a lot to read. It was a lot to write. Please keep praying. Thanks.

You are a very sensible person, I enjoyed reading this. Keep up your writing!

 

[Angelina]

Please keep to prayers only. Thank you

 

[Nancy]

Please keep to prayers only. Thank you

Oops, sorry for my earlier input!