what are you supposed to do? She is in a fulfilling relationship with the with a women with the world's blessing and I am a casualty of her 'coming out'. Fact is this would not have happened if she wasn't condemned by her church. Her fear of Hell ruined my life. If you are gay stop lying about it. Your fear destroys other people.
Aspen, first off my soul aches for both you and your former wife! I noted that you've talked about this subject or alluded to it at various times on the board. I caution you as a brother about what you say in public because there are people who will seek to exploit the situation, so just don't let the emotions and struggles overtake you in your words here.
With that said, this is a situation where I do not have a lot of knowledge - only bits and pieces of what you've shared - but regardless of "stances" and "positions," this is a microcosm of one of the intensest struggles that people go through in this life. I do not know your former wife, but I am sure that she struggled through this as more than just a function of fear. I really have little business speaking here, but the Spirit is impressing upon my heart that I need to share this. This is not a struggle that I would assume your former wife woke up one day and decided to have for the fun of it! She may have wrestled with this for a very long time. In my experience, those dealing with these issues will suppress and seek alternatives for a variety of reasons, peer pressure being just one. We truly war on the inside.
As someone a few thousand miles from where ya'll are at, I am praying for you with an earnest heart, for peace for the both of you! Let me just part by saying that people don't necessarily waste time following, thinking, and speaking about other people if they do not care for them at some level. Nothing will fix the past, whatever mistakes were made. The only mistakes you can fix are either the ones being made, or where the both of you are being held prisoner by the unchangeable mistakes in the past. We have a Savior who died for that, and I encourage you two doubly to seek Him in that. The both of you need to get those emotions out and work towards a point of forgiveness. Easier said than done, of course, but nothing is impossible with God!
This is a hard thing and no one here knows exactly what either of you are going through, but I am sure I am not alone in praying for all of you!
