I believe in spanking, but only after having tried other ways to discipline such as: grounding, time-out, loss of privileges etc. It's a thin line between discipline and abuse and we should never discipline our children in anger but love.
Spare The Rod ~ Spoil The Child...Should We Spank Our Children ?
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aspen
“"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few
Hi! 'HollyRock'
As you might be aware, this question is increasingly pestering sincere Christians these days.
As it is, I myself had to decipher the entire thought-world behind the idea of 'punishment' because I suddenly became a single parent of a 4 year old after the government intervened and gave me immediate custody because of the extensive physical abuse evidence at the hands of his mother.
The immediate issue for me was how to correct a child's behavior without physical contact in any way whatsoever.
I was a severely (SEVERELY!) abused child myself and I was insistent to not visit the same cruelty on my son. I remember one Children's Aid Worker saying to me, "Did you know that 60% of abused children abuse their children?" I angrily replied, "Did you know that 40% don't!".
So many of us Christians have a false image of God and we unwittingly visit that false image upon our children. For instance, I was just minutes ago reading a Thread here about "reproof, correction, rebuke, discipline". It was plainly obvious to me (at least) that a lot who were participating in the Thread had hardly a clue about God's posture and response concerning sin and/or godly chastisement.
Those who introduce physical violence upon their children most always possess a false image of God for themselves. In many respects, they erroneously suspect that God somehow behaves as man.
Yes, I was greatly ridiculed by some of my Christian brothers and sisters during the first months of being granted custody of my child. They accused me of being so heavenly minded that I was no earthly good ... that I was risking to spoil my son. The truth was, that I was determined not to spoil or damage his human spirit by visiting him with physical punishment.
The most rewarding day of all was when my four year old son stood in front of me in near tears and angrily stammered: (while stomping his feet), "Dad, even when I'm bad, you still love me!".
That is a moment that gave me eternity!
My son had been busy testing me and pushing me over every edge imaginable. He was unconsciously demanding to know if I too would "disown" him or abuse him and tried everything in the book over several months to prove his suspicions of me to himself.
But I must say this too: maybe a lot of people might find it difficult to believe, but God Himself trained me to be a good a good and godly parent. I was a near complete mess in so many other ways ... a near complete emotional and psychological disaster! ... but God persevered in this one urgent thing with me.
Actually, one day I was so pleased with myself after confronting my son about something ... my first response was to humiliate him ... and while I was sitting on the couch boasting to myself, "Yep! Yuh sure taught that kid a lesson!", I actually heard an audible voice quietly asking, "Do I treat YOU that way?". I was stunned. It cut me to the core. Then the voice said, "You have to tell him that you expect more from him. That you believe that he can do it. You have to give him YOUR faith when he has so little for himself!".
So it is that my son is now a very successful executive of a large computer company today.
When he first arrived at my home, his first school told me that I had to lower my expectations for him; they even placed him in a class for the emotionally disabled. There were times when my son would simply walk up to me and slam his fist into my face. I wanted so much to drop him right on the spot. But God and I worked things out instead.
No, physical punishment is rewarding evil with evil. Neither God behaves this way and nor should we.
goodshepard55
New Member
Give them choices..like...if you do not put on your shoes, you can't go outside, and can stay in your room....Or..." I love you too much to continue to allow you to behave in this way"
If one wishes to compare parenting of the past and parenting today just look at the results
aspen
“"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few
Seems to me that spanking is only a little better than no discipline at all. It kind of reminds me of a lobotomy - all it does is shut the kid up by giving them a new problem without correcting anything.
Hi! 'Shep'
Yes, EXACTLY! Your advice is exceedingly wise.
We should strive to imagine how our heavenly Father behaves towards His children and mirror that image to our own children.
I jus' read an additional comment to this Thread which attempts to blame the increasing evil and immorality in the world on a lack of parenting skills.
In a sense, the individual's view might be a little bit right ... but it's far from being entirely correct.
Our children are having to confront their own inner spiritual Armageddon; the enemies of both God and man are increasing their nefarious activities in this day.
We are living in a day of AFRAIDS ... 'A Factor Related [to an] Acquired Immune Deficiency [of the human] Spirit'. Every cultural item is a potential evil device to injure and damage the human spirits of our children.
I do believe in corporal punishment if administered correctly and with love. I'm surprised no one mentioned the verse, Spare the rod, spoil the child, (paraphrased) Pr. 13:24
Duh, I just noticed the title of the OP, my bad.
Duh, I just noticed the title of the OP, my bad.
No surprise,most don't care what the bible says in regard to anything but "love"...only what modern psychology and people like Dobson and Spock say...in the additional comments you see people offer nothing but lame excuses and the red herring of abuse.....no surprise at all....the modern church is quite pleased with itself and thinks it's doing a marvelous job
Hi! 'Trekson'
You'll forgive me when I say that I too am equally surprised; surprised that people fail to comprehend the spiritual meaning behind the verse you quoted.
The verse you offered, "Spare the rod, spoil the child", might be literally applicable for the "Dog Whisperer" or some other kind of animal trainer. But it is totally wrong to suggest the literal/natural interpretation should apply to our children. After all, we are dealing with humans and not creatures. We are speaking about children who have exceeding more value than a dog or a pet goat. Our children are so much a treasure to God that He has given these little ones a protective angel. And, Christian parents still wish to use the tools of a 'Dog Whisperer'?
On the other hand, there is room for the 'Dog Whisperer' training skills for those who insist to live after the Old Covenant situation. The Old Testament faithful knew nothing about Ephesians 6:12. All their thoughts and actions were determined by visible matters. The did not have a "renewed mind" and so their every response to every situation mostly took place on the earthly level: do this and you will live.
The hard law was: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. A stubborn, disobedient son was beaten; if this did not help, if the parents were at their wit's end, they took their child to the elders of the town and the boy was stoned to death, (Deut 21:21 ).
Fortunately, our gospel provides a much more realistic method of education. We dismiss the advice of the 'Dog Whisperers'. The disobedient child, is restrained and bound by the prayer of his parents. And, if the parents are unable to achieve victory, they go to the elders of their church and enlist them to help in the spiritual battle.
He who loves his neighbour as his own self will also love his children, and refrain from violence. Even in critical situations he keeps focused on Jesus who embraced the children who had just been rebuked by His diciples. This parent knows the voice of the Lord who said: "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth", ( Matt 5:5. ).
Good discipline is always a discipline without violence.
ADDED/EDITED BELOW
To be a king and a priest in one's family is not an Old Testamentical matter. In the Old Testament the parents of a disobedient child had only one final solution: to take their stubborn child to the elders of the city and have him stoned to death (Deut 21:18-21). The Old Testamentical way of thinking is the primary factor behind the reason why so many sincere Believers seem to be such great champions of the rod in the family and concerning capital punishment.
A New Testamentical king uses the rod of the Word to rebuke the real source of evil: the spiritual powers in the heavenly places. A New Testamentical priest is fully consecrated to God and serves Him in the holiness of His name. Such a priestly parent will not find it a difficult thing to maintain an atmosphere of "righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" in their home. The atmosphere of the Kingdom of God touches everyone in the family ... including the little children. Therefore, the Christian parent will not strike his child with their hands nor attack them with instruments. Instead, they come against the inspirations of evil with the iron rod of the Word, (Psalm 2:9).
I have children and when they don't heed my words (which are instruction and safety for them) then they have forsaken a hedge of protection and may be injured physically, spiritually or emotionally.
Same thing with the Children of Israel. When they rebelled and forsook the Lord's Words, the went outside of His protection (God won't be an enabler or accomplice in our sin), and then bad things happened to them. They reaped what they sowed. If they sowed rebellion and disobedience they reaped judgment and sometimes destruction.
Jesus gave us a revelation of this law of Spiritual cause and effect; "Sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee"
John 5:14 Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee
And the same thing with Christians. (God's basic character and nature towards sin has not changed).
Paul did to: Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
So, although our parents do not bring bad things upon us, our choices (actions) sometimes do. When I look back at my childhood including my teenage years I realize that my parents WORDS to me were for my own good and my protection and it would have been much better if I listened to them and heeded their words.
Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Pro 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Pro 3:7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
Pro 3:8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
Pro 3:11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
Pro 3:12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
Pro 3:13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
Axehead
Same thing with the Children of Israel. When they rebelled and forsook the Lord's Words, the went outside of His protection (God won't be an enabler or accomplice in our sin), and then bad things happened to them. They reaped what they sowed. If they sowed rebellion and disobedience they reaped judgment and sometimes destruction.
Jesus gave us a revelation of this law of Spiritual cause and effect; "Sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee"
John 5:14 Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee
And the same thing with Christians. (God's basic character and nature towards sin has not changed).
Paul did to: Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
So, although our parents do not bring bad things upon us, our choices (actions) sometimes do. When I look back at my childhood including my teenage years I realize that my parents WORDS to me were for my own good and my protection and it would have been much better if I listened to them and heeded their words.
Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Pro 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Pro 3:7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
Pro 3:8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
Pro 3:11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
Pro 3:12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
Pro 3:13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
Axehead
A child must come to understand that in life there are boundaries...... and so explanation and punishment are required to define and establish them.
If the child does not have behavioral boundaries established early on... , then later they will find out the hard way.
So, its a parents 2nd most important responsibility to instill the understanding of behavioral boundaries in their kids.
1.)Unconditional love.
2.) Behavioral boundaries
3.)God awareness
K
I think it's to do with age. I know a friend of mine who spanked her kids once they turned one. I can tell you right now, that it didn't damage them. They are the best behaved kids I have ever babysat. You can play with them, hype them up, but as soon as you say "No." they stop.
As a kid myself, I was disciplined many times. I managed to survive.
The way I see it, not spanking children hasn't improved society at all. So perhaps we should go back to the old way, since that proved to be much more successful.
Jer_6:16 Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.
Wow! Just like God. A Christian must come to learn and know there are boundaries, too. Amazing how the "cause and effect" principle in our natural lives mirrors laws in the spiritual realm (cause and effect, reap what you sow, good and evil, blessing and curse, life and death).
Axehead
I don't have children, but I was spanked when necessary and it didn't do any damage to me. There is a difference in discipline and abuse. i was disciplined. I was never afraid of my parents and I am not a violent person. I have spanked my nephew, my niece and my godchildren. When I say "spanked", I mean a swat or two on the rear or a pop on the leg. None of them (now 22, 17, 13 and 3) are any worse for the wear. I think spanking is fine, abusing is not and there is a HUGE difference.
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