Struggling with same-sex attraction (I need help)...

[Darya24]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

 

[Heart2Soul]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

Just for now I will offer my prayers for you....I know your struggle is real and it will take divine intervention from God to free you of what has you bound. I will come back to this post in a couple of days with more words of encouragement.

 

[Stranger]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

That you have come to realize that homosexuality is a sin is good. For, until one recognizes they are a sinner, they don't see any need for a Saviour. And that is your need at this time.

I realize your concern is real over your situation. But, there is no solution without Jesus Christ. Your 'sort of belief' in God is not sufficient. You must come to Jesus Christ and be born-again by the Spirit of God. This is the starting place. Without it, there is no solution.

Get a Bible, preferably in my opinion a KJV, and go to the Gospel of John. Read the third chapter first. Then read the whole book of John. Then read the entire Bible for the rest of your life from Genesis to Revelation. Find a good church. Not one that accepts homosexuality or women preachers. And they must believe the Bible is the Word of God, because it is.

You will find love in your life, as it will come from God and Christ and His people. And you cannot know where it will lead from there once your are born-again. You were born a woman because that is what God wanted you to be.

Stranger

 

[Hidden In Him]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

I know a woman who expressed these very same things to me; that she felt more attracted to women because they were softer, and that she didn't think she could find a man who would be like that.

All I can tell you is that all things are possible with God, and that means the possibility of Him finding you a man you would love being with, as well as empowering you to be able to go without a relationship for a time if necessary.

Just make sure you communicate these very same things you are telling us with the men you date, so they understand that the typical macho man stuff will turn you off.

Btw, I could explain clearly why the Lord desires men to only marry women and women only to marry men, but I'll leave that off for in case you are interested.

Blessings in Christ, and welcome to Christianity Board.

 

[Deborah_]

I agree with Stranger - except that if you're not very familiar with the Bible I would advise you to read a modern English version.

 

[Taken]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

I take note of FIVE things you mention:
1) Your age.
1) Response;
Worldly education is designed to mold children into blurring everything into being acceptable.
Beware of who or what is setting your standards and principles FOR you.

2)Looks of a female;
2) Response;
Outside appearence is modernly eye candy, and makes the lacking internal beauty, worldly acceptable and promoted at all costs.
Beware of flesh eye candy. True beauty stems from the heart.

3) Softness of a female;
3) Response;
Woman taken "out of a man". Think about it. The very first characteristics of a woman is from the "inside" of a man.
Men were designed stronger, thicker skin, builders, for his wife, while having a softness and beauty Inside.
Wishing you were a man, in a relationship with a woman, would not change you from a woman soft IN and OUT. Two softies still dependant on a thrid party Man; to build for you and to provide any children.
A. Pretense of a two party personal relationship.

4) Sex
4) Response;
Sexual relations was designed to occur between a man and a woman. For procreation and pleasure. Revealed by the fact only a man and a woman can procreate. An awesome gift, from the Creator Himself forward to a husband's and a wife's personal intimate relationship, Scripturally promoted to be a relationship to them exclusively.
Worldly promotion is an intimate relationship is okay that your standard be somone else's left-over scraps, they no longer wanted.

5) Iffy toward God.
5) Response;
God IS the Creator and Maker of manKIND.
Avoiding seeking His Knowledge, particularly of PRECEPTS (behaviors between people), leaves the individual and the two desiring to be joined together, debating over their own individual standards and principles, and whose standards and principles shall dominate the relationship.
Beware of submitting to a relationship that your and the other party are NOT knowledgeable of; and in agreement with Gods Precepts; or you might find yourself as someone's used left-overs, discarded, without a tad of remorse, and think yourself broken-hearted.
Beware; The Heart is on the INSIDE, and controlled by God.
Either hardened for they which are Not with Him.
Or Filled with Love and Truth and Power for they which Are with Him.

Advise;
Give heartful thought to what Standards and Priciples you want for your life to Be and Reflect.
You can not BE both; a reflection OF the world and a reflection OF God.

Rom 12:
[2] And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

If unsure what IS OF this world...
Newspapers Headlines it daily ~
Perversion, Cheating, Lying, Murders, Sexual Deviants, Hatred, Deceiving, Stealing, Corruption...
This World today.
IN the world or OF the world, our personal choice.

Glory to God,
God Bless,
Taken

 

[Preacher4Truth]

If you had all the "equipment" of a male you'd still struggle with your iniquity. Your sin is of the mind, not of your "instruments."

Christ came to save from sin and renew the minds of those converted. Satan promotes the lie of "if" to you; "If" this were the case then "this would be true" and it would be "so much better." Nope, you'd still need to be converted.

It's highly likely if you were a male you'd practice sodomy as well. You'd still have some sin that you'd be enslaved to, that's a fact.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

First I’d ask how you know this is a sin? Obviously you feel convicted. Are you convicted because of what man says or are you convicted because of what God says? Man is good at condemning another but man’s condemnation or conviction is not what delivers. It is God’s conviction that shows one they need His grace and mercy.

All I can speak of is my own experience. Don’t know if it will help but when the law came I’d not even been reading the bible. Of course I’d heard of God’s laws throughout life because I’d been to several churches as a child that taught Hell Fire and brimstone and how God was going to punish me forever. But when the law came a few years back it was different. It was between God and me only and slowly, at a pace I guess He felt was needed, God began to shine light on my sins. There is a passage where God asks if they see the fruit of what they have done and mine was bad fruit. A lot of it. Sin and Death. It was so apparent a mourning followed and repentance. It wasn’t because man told me it was wrong. I’d seen it to my core. One sin in particular for a year I wrestled with God over trying to justify my actions as not that bad. That is the main reason I’m sharing this with you because your OP sounds familiar in the -kinda but not fully- in agreement with God. I’d even convinced a counselor at the time to agree with me that if the motive wasn’t wrong then it wasn’t that bad. A day came though where God through orchestrating things in my life fully convinced me to the core it was wrong and I never returned to that sin but agreed with God and fully meant it. Only He took me to that place though.

We speak of grace and mercy. We speak of condemnation and yet at the same time God’s love which is endless. How can we know God’s condemnation and also His love? It is possible. In Christ. To me, the biggest sin would be telling you God could never love you as long as you are where you are at. That is not true...He loves you despite where you are at: in that He died for sinners while they were yet sinners. He died for His enemies, which I was. No one can tell you the walk God would take with you and how He would work in freeing you from whatever holds you captive...The biggest captivity He wants to free you from is thinking you will ever be good enough by your own performance to earn love that is free. Hence the heavy condemnation of every single mouth being stopped before Him. There is nothing you can do to earn His love. And there is something about that heavy condemnation of seeing this, the Old Testament that shows a person is hopeless to do all required and mercy is needed.

A couple verses to consider: 1 John 4:18
[18] There is no fear (bondage)in love; but perfect love casts out fear(bondage): because fear(bondage to that old law of sin earning salvation by works)hath torment. (One must die) He that feareth (bondage)is not made perfect(Free to serve the living God) in love(Christ).

How can we know God’s condemnation and also His love? God’s condemnation, the Mosiac law working death of sin in us, reveals who we are and frees us to receive a love that doesn’t condemn but is mercy and grace and peace. The captivity He came to set us free from is the heavy burden of the flesh (the law of sin)and to set us in the light of His mercy and grace.

Romans 7:23-25
[23] But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. [24] O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? [25] I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

With his mind Paul serves the law of God(the righteousness of Christ)But with the flesh the law of sin(condemnation: the flesh found completely guilty). The old and the new war...the sin kept underneath being tried and condemned and pronounced GUILTY trying to bring Paul back into captivity and under the bondage of the bondwoman who was to be cast out. Remember the verse of perfect love casting out fear. Those born of God are of the woman made free in Christ ...there is no more condemnation in Christ.

Romans 8:1-2
[1] There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. [2] For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. (Free from condemnation and death and brought into Life in the righteousness of Christ).

He IS love. His burden is light. Man’s requirements (the flesh) are too heavy to carry. Only God’s conviction and Condemnation delivers a man or woman ...and changes one to the core(heart).

 

[Episkopos]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

These kinds of sexual bents begin in the early development of what is to become our selves. Often it is triggered by an early contact with a person who has that bent or spirit. I know of a case where a male homosexual teenager was the babysitter of 2 young boys from different families. (they were Christian families). Now BOTH of those young boys became gay.

We are really a product of our collective experiences.

It is a place to start.

But those experiences need not define who we are and what we do. An abused person need not become an abuser.

Consider yourself already married to the Lord...and resist the intimacy of other people as if it was adultery. An unbridled passion is a self-destructive thing. You will have to be creative in finding a way to express what is within you in a constructive and creative way.

The relations between a man and woman are both natural AND creative. Just look at all the people in the world. Human life is a sexually transmitted phenomenon. :)

I have a family member who is gay....but has abstained from any contact of that sort since her conversion to Christ. Her family is us and the church. She goes through periodic difficulties but they are within her ability to resist and have victory. I pray you find that place.

 

[bbyrd009]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

then I guess you came to the wrong place lol, but imo I would seek life, more abundantly even if it means marrying a whore (which you can find in the Book btw) and don't trip too much on the rest imo. Your tastes will change as you age regardless I guess. If you do read the Bible, do yourself a favor and read from a Lexicon ok, Genesis 1:1 Lexicon: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth., the English ones are completely "scribed," virtually garbage believe it or not

 

[Waiting on him]

Welcome to the forum. First of all I believe that given your age you are having an identity crisis, the good news is Christ will show you who you truly are. Good things come to those who wait.

Ps. It would be damaging to your soul to enter in to a relationship with anyone prior to establishing one with the creator of relationships.

 

[amadeus]

You were born a woman because that is what God wanted you to be.

@Darya24
Even so but this does not make it an easy road to walk alone, which is why as our friend, Stranger, indicates you need help and that help really must come from God. Consider these words prayerfully and proceed from there:

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" Matt 11:28-30

Don't read it once or twice only and quit but ask God to help you take it on as a part of you so you start to be able to really come to Jesus.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" Matt 7:7

 

[FatalMoves]

Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of my text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammar mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I woud become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do? (
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!

Sex is not everything.

 

[Darya24]

Sex is not everything.

No. I could not have sex, but there would still be romantic attraction towards women.

 

[FatalMoves]

No. I could not have sex, but there would still be romantic attraction towards women.

Why would God make you gay then force you to be straight.

 

[Darya24]

Why would God make you gay then force you to be straight.

Why do you ask me?

 

[FatalMoves]

Why do you ask me?

What did a bunch of sheep herder's know about the psychology of sexuality.

 

[Darya24]

What did a bunch of sheep herder's know about the psychology of sexuality.

So you don't believe homosexual acts are a sin?

 

[FatalMoves]

So you don't believe homosexual acts are a sin?

Even if it was do you think that the fear of being punished for it will change anything.

 

[Darya24]

Even if it was do you think that the fear of being punished for it will change anything.

If you're an atheist or something I don't really care, please stop talking.