This is another post I've had to give a lot of thought to. You've raised some very good points!I see people quoting proof texts that they use for their conclusions. What I don't see are those verses that call their proof texts into doubt. Until we use all of scripture to delves into truth, we will not agree.
When don't we use all of scripture? Well, it takes time and effort. Worse yet, the truth may gore our sacred ox and leave us more humble that we'd like.
I've asked God to give me truth while delving into scripture and had Him convict me of falsely claiming that I already knew "the truth." Even asking Him to "take it back" didn't work.
Learning that way will cause a disruption in our hearts and a change in relationships with those who used to accept you based on the fact that you were "all of one mind" previously but now aren't.
We don't like being the oddball among our social group. In that, I think we fear learning God's truth. After all, when we have the social support of 99 others, we fear being the one lamb that follows a different trail.
Incomplete understandings from insufficient learning, or worse still, getting into a "protectionist" stance because we fear losing some teaching we think we need, or worse still, refusing new teaching lest it tear us away from our group.
Realizing, I may yet be wrong, realizing that if God corrects me, it's a GOOD thing, realizing that I am my Father's child, even if I'm confused, realizing that our primary relationship is with our Father, not with our friends and fellows, realizing that if we grow and learn, we will be more able to give good gifts to others.
More mulling to do on this one too!
Much love!