This is called a double bind ...a statement that contains circular speech. Early on in my journey, I heard an alter repeating the words, "Believe not to believe." And when I heard it, I understood the meaning.... #1, To believe my memories is not to believe God... #2, to believe God is not to believe my memories.... and #3, what I am to believe is not to believe (God, myself, or my memories). It was a denial programming double bind statement. It finally made sense why I'd always feel a huge sense of doom every time I got new memories. And then, as a defense, I'd run to denial. (But the denial never brought resolution, of course. So it kept me in a loop of not moving forward in my healing and deprogramming.) The cult knows that if a survivor ever truly connects with God, their programming begins unraveling. They do everything they can to program victims against God... even to the extent of using (fake) "God", "Jesus", "Holy Spirit", and scriptures (given twisted meanings) to accomplish that.
As far as what you're hearing from inside, thank them for sharing that with you and ask them to explain what it means to them. Of course, also, pray that God will reveal what you need to know. And on your end, you can pray and renounce all programming that says, "it is all of it and nothing." (And add into that prayer, any other double mind programming statements that you're aware of.
In my case, an example would be, "In the name of (the true) Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth who came in the flesh 2000 years ago, I renounce - on behalf of all parts of me - all "believe not to believe" programming. I renounce - on behalf of every part of me - all programming that says I cannot believe God. I renounce all programming that says that the knowledge of God and the knowledge of my memories cannot come together. I renounce all programming that says I must deny the truth of my memories or deny the truth of God. I declare - on behalf of every part of myself - that I want the truth. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, and I choose to know the truth so that every part of my humanity may be free, because it is knowing the truth that makes me free!"
So maybe that prayer example can help you form a prayer and declarations of truth that counteract the double binds that your alters were made to believe.
Also, if you ever need to discuss any of these things privately, please feel free to message me.
