Unequally Yoked

[inhislove76]

Ok.. Here is the thing. I understand and know what the bible says about being unequally yoked with unbelievers. However, here is my dilema.My new roomate is in a relationship with a man who does not believe in Jesus as his personal savior. She is a Christian woman, who has grown up as a believer. I met her in a church, and her values seemed to have pointed in the biblical standards. Now, I am not a brand new christian but am new in the sense that I am still drinking the milk, but am graduating to the solids. I feel the anger and rage build inside of me towards her, for comprimising, because she says..."He is just so sweet." Now, I got the pleasure of meeting him this weekend, and sure he is nice. But my beliefs in my heart are you shouldn't give your heart and life to someone until he/she makes the comittment to Christ. Obviously her and I don't share this belief to a point. What on earth should I say to her to get her to understand that what she is doing is putting this man over God and her walk. How can I get her to not move to Rhode Island from Tennessee, which is where we live for him until he gives his heart to Christ? How...???? This is tearing me up. Desperatly needing an answer from God!!!

 

[country_lad]

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 dont team up with those who are unbelievers. how can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? how can light live in darkness? what harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? how can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? and what union can there be between Gods temple and idols? for we are the temple of the living God. as God said:i will live with them and walk among them. i will be there God, and they will be my people. therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, said the Lord. dont touch their filthy things, and i will welcome you. and i will be your father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.if you read that to her and she still doesnt see or listen, then about all you can do is pray and leave it in Gods hands. God bless inhislove76...you should put it on the prayer board too.

 

[country_lad]

you could also ask around your church for Christians who have done this (married an unbeliever) and the problems it made. im shure the stories they tell about trying to stay faithful to God while being married to an unbeliever will put a diffrent light on things for her

 

[whirlwind]

(country_lad;33139)
if you read that to her and she still doesnt see or listen, then about all you can do is pray and leave it in Gods hands. God bless inhislove76...you should put it on the prayer board too.
You are wise beyond your years Country Lad....Well said!

........Whirlwind

 

[ForYou]

Try telling her this,Do cats and dogs go together,light and darkanger and happyNo they don't there will be differences in all of those things! and nothing good can prosper!!!Maybe she feels like she can change him,but she should not be talking of marriage or what not until that guy accepts Jesus as his savior!!!Only then will it work,having the girl you said was a christian and having a guy who is not there will be differences!!!

Hope I helped

 

[BearingChristaHammer]

My personal testimony lends to the fact that this can cause a lot of problems. I think this should be avoided, concerning the relationship however, it is up to her. You stated it quite nicely that she is putting this man before God. I think that you need to say your peace and then do what you can to take care of yourself in the situation. Eventually this will ware on you and for the most part it sounds like you are convicted, which is great I congratulate you. You are looking to scripture and trying to do what it says. :study: or says not to do. :naughty:I cannot tell you how many "Christians" I know skim over this. I was currently "yoked" with many unbelievers knowingly living in sin. They basically were almost under common law marriage yet going to church together on Sunday. In my opinion they are disgracing Christ by not seeking Him as the cornerstone of their relationship. I no longer share their company, but I am not sad even a little, and that doesn't make me cold. I am happy that God has given me the strength to stand convicted. I am sad for them, but for myself I am happy, God's company is better anyways.My parents struggled with something similar and almost got divorced. My father was strict Roman Catholic and my mother was raised Protestant so even though they were both believers it still came between them and was a major source of contention. I myself was married to a believer and we are now sadly divorced, but even to that I say amen if it allows me to be closer to God. I never wanted divorce I know that is wrong, but lets just say that we had our differences and one of us wanted out. It was not the only reason but it was a major conflict based on these differences. I wanted to become a minister. She told me plainly that she could never be a minister's wife. I would try to go to your roommate as her friend. Let her know how concerned you are for her but also how much your faith means to you and that you are trying to share that with her. Who knows if anything at least you can be a good example to her and she will have heard the truth. Testimony is a good thing if she will allow it. I didn't heed the voice of many good friends just like yourself. She is lucky to have you and if she wont listen then you have done your best. But don't be afraid to stand strong in God's word. Go at it form the angle of trying to save her a lot of heartache down the road, because unless he comes to Christ what can she expect in the relationship. How will they raise the kids, etc.

 

[tim_from_pa]

The girl's lovestruck and its hard to reason to a person like this. Obviously, she is not as mature in her walk with Christ as she should be, otherwise she'd see more clearly.I have no clear answer, even though I raised two sons myself. From my experience, even if you try to present evidence to her regarding the problems with being unequally yoked, it will probably fall on deaf ears, and if you are persistent enough, she might resent it. And of all things, if something bad happens, DON'T smugly say "I told you so."The best thing to do is petition God to either make the relationship work (e.g. he might become a Christian and maybe you can witness) or some event happen that will open her eyes to see his true colors. To this very day, I struggle myself with the question "why" God allows His supposed children to enter head-on into a destructive relationship that will end in divorce when God is full well against divorce. Why doesn't he stop them in other words? I have my beliefs and suspicions as to why, but I will not elaborate on that here. I'm just thankful that my wife and I are going strong (and we are both on our first) for 22 years.

 

[lastsecman]

Need to get a thing straight.....No jealousy is involved here, right.........?If there is, just tell her your feelings and bless her. That's the most gentleman way to do it. And the only choice, no other.So that you will be totally relieved and will not carry a heavy luggage on your back when she leaves.

 

[Franklin]

these types of relationships never turn out well, the Christian always seems to get pulled down

 

[Faithful]

Then again God could be calling this person and that through the friendship of her family and friends he may give his life over to the Lord and maybe the person God has planned for this girl to marry,Look at Esther, by all rights she should not have married any King who did not believe in her God. But God saved his people through their union.Look at King David and Bathsheba, she was Uriahs wife and though they lost their first Child, their second son Solomon was chosen by God to become the King.Do you not trust her, has she given you reason to doubt her? Why not pray for this guy and ask God what his purpose is in her life? I would pray that through their friendship, whatever the outcome that this guy finds the Lord.After all God is not a respector of persons. We are to treat all with love.Courting is not the same as being married. She is in no way yoked to this man because she is not married. So clearly at this stage she has not become unequally yoked. To stop mixing with non-believers you would have to leave the planet. Depends who you believe is stronger. He who is in her or he who is in him? If he who is in her is stronger then she is on the winning team.So trust God, he knows what he has planned for her.Faithful.

 

[inhislove76]

Thank You FaithfulYour reply makes the most sense, and is confirmed in my heart, through the peace I feel about it. Thank you.Your Wisdom and Heart in the Lord has made it easier for me to face and pray for this circumstance. I think most of it really has to do with the fact that I myself have lost a Christian man in my life, and just really don't want anyone around me to be genuially happy. Make sense?I hope soGod BlessNichole

 

[lastsecman]

Sorry, didn't see your name. Thought you are a man. My mistake!

 

[His By Grace]

inhislove, I'm glad faithful made you feel better, because what he said was true. But, don't stop looking for ways to speak the truth in love in regard to the future too; especially if she opens up to you. People who are trying to convince themselves of a truth are often difficult to convince of anything. But, it's scary to even let yourself entertain thoughts of marrying a nonbeliever. We should always see someone as they are; not what we want them to be. I know that I got into real trouble with this. I ended up marrying a man that was a baby Christian because I became impatient. That is also being unequally yoked. Sometimes I even wonder if he is a Christian because there is little evidence of it in his life. I was seeing and believing what I wanted to at the time. I was also coming out of a long relationship with a guy from church that basically had verbally abused me,etc. I tend to be very soft-hearted, so it's extremely hard for me to hurt people's feelings. It was so hard for me to break it off with the other guy and then I bounced right into this relationship. Well, I can tell you it was hell on earth at its beginning (after the vows, that is). It was so hard that I didn't think I could make it through. There are things that went on that I can't even mention. To this day, if it weren't for the grace of the Lord, we wouldn't have made it. I have cried and wished so many times that I would have taken another path. I love my girls so much and would not want to be without them, but I can honestly say that I have not married within the Lord's will. Now, I see it as a challenge to be a witness unto the Lord of His faithfulness. But, I may never know what others know about how a loving Christian relationship feels like. I have great Christian friends and lots to be thankful for, but that won't take the place of a Godly mate. I post on this site to be able to discuss Godly things because I can't talk about them at home. My husband isn't interested in them. He says some of it is depressing and his motto is, "Let er rip, tater chip!" Now, don't get me wrong. I do love to laugh and be silly. But, I do have a hunger for things of the Lord, as well. Heaven vs. hell is serious to me-not a joke at all. A great site for you to go to is lastdaysministries.org or com. I can't remember. Click on the articles and there's one about being unequally yoked written by Melody Green. It is very good. I'll be glad to talk with your friend any time. I'll be praying for you and your buddy. It sounds like you're a good friend. You are right to be concerned. We can choose our sins, but not the consequences!

 

[His By Grace]

I checked on the lastdaysministries.org site and the article is called "Why You Shouldn't Date or Marry An Unbeliever". It's an interesting article, as many of them are on this site. It's coming from the perspective of 2 people who searched a long time to find the Lord and boy when they did, they gave Him everything! They were set on not compromising if they could help it and had great zeal!