Unfading Beauty: Wisdom from Wives

[PS95]

No. He is love. I just don't think His love is without conditions. I think any love is meaningless if it does not have conditions. God demonstrated His love toward us through sacrifice. It was so that we could meet the condition of being Christlike.

I can't separate His love from His blessings which he gives to all freely every day. What He does shows us His love.
The Lord's sacrifice for us is an expression of His greatest love- and yes we accept that in faith. But that has nothing to do with saying He isn't loving to all.
We are being made more like Christ everyday as we walk with Him and grow- yep. We will never be able to earn our salvation. It costs more than we will ever have. We will never be HIM. We can earn rewards.
I hope you can come around to see that He is loving to all. He doesn't always love what we do but He does love. His very breath is in each one of us.
You are a mama- you will love your babies even when they don't seem to love you back. You wont always approve of what they do, but you will love them still. This is why the Lord tarries!-- He loves.


14But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me,
And the Lord has forgotten me.”

15“Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.

16“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me.

17“Your builders hurry;
Your destroyers and devastators
Will depart from you.

 

[PS95]

I do accept that God is loving to all people because that is His nature. His nature will keep being good and full of mercy regardless of how wicked anyone acts. He did sacrifice for us all. I don't agree that it is unconditional love. People act as if "unconditional love" is the highest form of love. I believe sacrificial love is the highest.

His Unconditional love is what He shows us every day via blessings.- on believers and unbelievers. We don't deserve anything good. We all deserve wrath. Yet He blesses us with long lives, families, and so on.. -His Love is absolutely unconditional.

You are mixing salvation into the discussion but I have been separating it for the purpose of showing you His love for all of his creation.
I think maybe you are annoyed with people who claim unconditional love = salvation for those who say they are Christians and yet live like a devil all of their lives? Of course that's wrong.
A person who has Christ in them is being transformed by Him.
Even our faith is a gift. We can never earn salvation. It is a gift. We just remain in the faith given to us.
For those who reject His love- there will be wrath.
The other day, Lambano said he thinks of it as putting down a dog with rabies. We still love the animal.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

@Lambano
I feel like there are two errors married couples can fall into with emotional needs. One is to not address them at all and have pretend peace. What's more common in western culture is to make emotions king and forgo peace entirely. The term "happy wife, happy life" comes to mind.

We don't usually take this saying to mean a wife should do her best to be consistently happy despite life's variable circumstances. We usually mean a husband should accomodate whatever makes his wife happy. Unfortunately there are many cases where this never ends in happiness for either spouse because the wife and husband are misunderstanding what brings fulfillment in life.

Happiness is not getting every little whim and desire met and being pacified. It is living for a purpose greater than yourself and having the capacity to give to and serve others in love.

Getting back to the topic.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

His Unconditional love is what He shows us every day via blessings.- on believers and unbelievers. We don't deserve anything good. We all deserve wrath. Yet He blesses us with long lives, families, and so on.. -His Love is absolutely unconditional.

You are mixing salvation into the discussion but I have been separating it for the purpose of showing you His love for all of his creation.
I think maybe you are annoyed with people who claim unconditional love = salvation for those who say they are Christians and yet live like a devil all of their lives? Of course that's wrong.
A person who has Christ in them is being transformed by Him.
Even our faith is a gift. We can never earn salvation. It is a gift. We just remain in the faith given to us.
For those who reject His love- there will be wrath.
The other day, Lambano said he thinks of it as putting down a dog with rabies. We still love the animal.

@PS95 forgive me. I deleted this post. It was unkind.

 

[TLHKAJ]

@PS95 forgive me. I deleted this post. It was unkind.

What was unkind about @PS95's post?

 

[quietthinker]

I think God is allowed to be love and still have wrath in His nature as well.

God's wrath is defined in Romans 1 as 'giving them over'. ....multiple times.
In other words he is allowing them to reap the consequences of their insistent choices instead of protecting them from those consequences.
It does not mean he is going to smash their heads against the wall, so to speak.....as is usually assumed.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

What was unkind about @PS95's post?

I deleted my own post, not hers.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

God's wrath is defined in Romans 1 as 'giving them over'. ....multiple times.
In other words he is allowing them to reap the consequences of their insistent choices instead of protecting them from those consequences.
It does not mean he is going to smash their heads against the wall, so to speak.....as is usually assumed.

In the King James Version, the word wrath appears 197 times. A quick search in biblegateway reveals God's wrath being active in many cases.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

@TLHKAJ
@quietthinker
@PS95

Should a wife love her husband unconditionally? That is to say if he cheats repeatedly, is physically abusive, gambles all their money away? If yes, what does that look like practically?

 

[TLHKAJ]

@TLHKAJ
@quietthinker
@PS95

Should a wife love her husband unconditionally? That is to say if he cheats repeatedly, is physically abusive, gambles all their money away? If yes, what does that look like practically?

Yes, she should love him. But that does not require her to be abused. Boundaries are not in opposition to love.

I love my family of origin, but there was major abuse and trauma. When I had children, I set boundaries. I still prayed for them and loved them. But I didn't have to raise my children around them. (That was before I realized the extent of all that was involved, but the point is there.)

 

[TLHKAJ]

I deleted my own post, not hers.

Oh, okay ...thank you for clarifying. I was confused! lol

 

[quietthinker]

@TLHKAJ
@quietthinker
@PS95

Should a wife love her husband unconditionally? That is to say if he cheats repeatedly, is physically abusive, gambles all their money away? If yes, what does that look like practically?

'should' needs to be removed from the dictionary.
You either love or you don't. What has 'should' got to do with it?

'Should' God love us or does he love us?

Pick your partner well and grow together. If you don't all the 'shoulds' in the World will be of no use to you.

 

[quietthinker]

In the King James Version, the word wrath appears 197 times. A quick search in biblegateway reveals God's wrath being active in many cases.

It matters not even if the word 'wrath' were repeated 1197 times. What matters is what it means. Unfortunately it is generally understood as God getting his pound of flesh so to speak. Romans 1 defines it. Hear it.

 

[Lambano]

Very carefully. The Sweet Lady is a very good shot with both her AR-15 and her 9mm pistol.

If you reverse the genders, this joke becomes pretty ominous.

The Sweet Lady's ex-husband would throw her into walls, kick her with steel-toed boots, call her ugly names, crap like that. She endured it until he started in on her younger son (who had disabilities); then she knew it was time to get out. She made up her mind that she would never again be a soft target for any man. I helped her get the Purchase Permits, her Concealed Carry, and we took training classes together. I found a good range locally to practice at, and I went with her to the gun shops. She's proud of the skills she's developed, and I'm proud of her.

 

[Lambano]

I don't expect my husband to listen to my problems without trying to solve them. I think it's a good thing that my husband likes to solve problems. I think a lot of husbands are this way. If I want someone to just listen without problem solving, Ill go to a female friend.

When I saw that part in your post, I was thinking that's actually one of the areas I need to do better in - really listening when she wants to talk. Then we can assess whether I need to do something about it, or whether she just wants me to hear what's on her mind. Fair enough.

 

[PS95]

@TLHKAJ
@quietthinker
@PS95

Should a wife love her husband unconditionally? That is to say if he cheats repeatedly, is physically abusive, gambles all their money away? If yes, what does that look like practically?

UGh that's truly awful.. Well, we are to hate the sin but love the sinner & love your enemies--- So love is still the requirement. Agree?

Practically?-- --It would likely end up in a separation or the more permanent, divorce. She would feel very hurt and betrayed of course, but hard as it sounds- the Lord would help her to overcome this too. If she is in physical danger she should be sure she is in a safe place.
If, we are becoming more Christ-like, what did the Lord show us when He was betrayed & crucified by His own people?
" Forgive them, Father.." blessing those who curse you- is what God does.
and since we were forgiven our sins- we are to forgive others. No two ways around that one. There are different kinds of love- Obviously the romantic love has ended- but barring the threat of physical abuse- if he was starving should she give him something to eat? Pray for him?

I suppose in a way it is similar to how rejecters/wicked will be permanently separated from God in the end. They chose it.

I have had to forgive when I didn't think I could. I couldn't frankly- not on my own. I tried and tried. I had to pray for help and He delivered.
Nothing is impossible with God.

 

[PS95]

I don't expect my husband to listen to my problems without trying to solve them. I think it's a good thing that my husband likes to solve problems. I think a lot of husbands are this way. If I want someone to just listen without problem solving, Ill go to a female friend.

HAHA- so true. Ditto.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

UGh that's truly awful.. Well, we are to hate the sin but love the sinner & love your enemies--- So love is still the requirement. Agree?

Practically?-- --It would likely end up in a separation or the more permanent, divorce. She would feel very hurt and betrayed of course, but hard as it sounds- the Lord would help her to overcome this too. If she is in physical danger she should be sure she is in a safe place.
If, we are becoming more Christ-like, what did the Lord show us when He was betrayed & crucified by His own people?
" Forgive them, Father.." blessing those who curse you- is what God does.
and since we were forgiven our sins- we are to forgive others. No two ways around that one. There are different kinds of love- Obviously the romantic love has ended- but barring the threat of physical abuse- if he was starving should she give him something to eat? Pray for him?

I suppose in a way it is similar to how rejecters/wicked will be permanently separated from God in the end. They chose it.

I have had to forgive when I didn't think I could. I couldn't frankly- not on my own. I tried and tried. I had to pray for help and He delivered.
Nothing is impossible with God.

I really like this answer. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it!

 

[TitusTwoWife]

In three days, I will have been married 11 years. I was very naive and selfish in the beginning. I am very glad to all of the older women who have taught me things along the way. @TLHKAJ has been a positive factor in our married life through her advice.

A few values I learned:

Submissiveness as my husband grew into a Godly leader has taught me a greater trust in God and my husband. It gave our marriage peace, order, growth, and unity.

Home-centeredness because home is no prison, it's the place where I'm irreplaceable and my energy can go to the furthest value.

Service. The world looks down on those who serve but Christ served. I want to make my husband's life as easy and happy as I can and that in turn makes me happy.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

It matters not even if the word 'wrath' were repeated 1197 times. What matters is what it means. Unfortunately it is generally understood as God getting his pound of flesh so to speak. Romans 1 defines it. Hear it.

Since were in Romans 1, I dont think that chapter means God's wrath is only limited to giving people over to their sin. The end of the chapter speaks of judgment and death.

Romans 1:32 KJV

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32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.