- Nov 10, 2013
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Superstitions still abound, and for good reason. The superstitions of yesterday are the science of tomorrow. We've all received chain letters in the mail and now on the internet. Some dispatch them to the trash without a thought while others are compelled due to some foreboding warning of bad luck or financial disaster to pass them on to a dozen or so others for a financial windfall.
When some unfortunate event does occur, how many people think back to any of those chain letters they tossed into the trash? Those who send them on never consider that their bad luck could be due to the chain letter they sent to their friends as a means of protecting them from bad luck. The fact is that science has proven that the very idea of bad luck planted in the superstitious mind is more than enough to insure unfortunate events are to follow regardless of the rituals intended to prevent them.
However, there is a solution. Simply send this to your trash folder, or if you're feeling really daring and want to prove to yourself and others that you're really NOT superstitious, send it on to a dozen or so of your closest friends.
Before making this decision that could have significant, nay perhaps even eternal consequences; it should be noted that there is a new virus going around in a chain letter EXACTLY like the one you are currently reading that, when sent to one's trash; releases a particularly malicious trojan horse that destroys not only the software of your computer, but after corrosively eating up the hard drive and circuitry, continues to dissolve the plastic housing of the computer itself. The bad news is that if you want a computer of your own, you'll need to buy a new one. The good news is that you don't have to deal with the disposal of the old one. It literally dissolves without a trace.
To make this decision even more difficult, the following material is quite simply offensive to anyone who has the capacity to be offended.
An economic collapse is quickly descending upon us, and while we are in no short supply of advice on what to do to prepare for it, chances are that worthless money will still have some uses other than the government's ultimate purpose which is to literally burn it. Contrary to popular opinion, currency is not made of paper, but cotton. So burning it isn't the brightest idea, nor as a substitute for when you run out of toilet paper; that is what the yellow pages are for.
Tip: be sure to crumple each page repeatedly for added softness, absorbency and traction, otherwise it's just an exercise in spreading and smearing.
We do not suggest using the pages of Holy Writ as it is a not so well known fact that POW's, while cleaning latrines, have been known to clean and subsequently read them. Our lives are filled with so much that to read one entire page from the bible is an anomaly, and yet during times of conflict, one man's toilet paper is another's salvation. Not having anything to wipe one's rear end after consuming an extra helping of General Chang's spicy chicken at the Walmart deli looks disturbingly similar to some of the lower levels of Dante's Inferno.
Real inflation, contrary to the ridiculous propaganda being spread by mainstream news outlets; is now hovering just over 7%, and destined to climb which will drive the price of toilet paper(a non-perishable, fungible commodity)up, making even the individual squares worth more than a roll is today.
In the meantime...
Read your bible.
Stock up on toilet paper.
Question Science
Don't be superstitious.
If you can't decide what to do with this message; save it until you can.
When some unfortunate event does occur, how many people think back to any of those chain letters they tossed into the trash? Those who send them on never consider that their bad luck could be due to the chain letter they sent to their friends as a means of protecting them from bad luck. The fact is that science has proven that the very idea of bad luck planted in the superstitious mind is more than enough to insure unfortunate events are to follow regardless of the rituals intended to prevent them.
However, there is a solution. Simply send this to your trash folder, or if you're feeling really daring and want to prove to yourself and others that you're really NOT superstitious, send it on to a dozen or so of your closest friends.
Before making this decision that could have significant, nay perhaps even eternal consequences; it should be noted that there is a new virus going around in a chain letter EXACTLY like the one you are currently reading that, when sent to one's trash; releases a particularly malicious trojan horse that destroys not only the software of your computer, but after corrosively eating up the hard drive and circuitry, continues to dissolve the plastic housing of the computer itself. The bad news is that if you want a computer of your own, you'll need to buy a new one. The good news is that you don't have to deal with the disposal of the old one. It literally dissolves without a trace.
To make this decision even more difficult, the following material is quite simply offensive to anyone who has the capacity to be offended.
An economic collapse is quickly descending upon us, and while we are in no short supply of advice on what to do to prepare for it, chances are that worthless money will still have some uses other than the government's ultimate purpose which is to literally burn it. Contrary to popular opinion, currency is not made of paper, but cotton. So burning it isn't the brightest idea, nor as a substitute for when you run out of toilet paper; that is what the yellow pages are for.
Tip: be sure to crumple each page repeatedly for added softness, absorbency and traction, otherwise it's just an exercise in spreading and smearing.
We do not suggest using the pages of Holy Writ as it is a not so well known fact that POW's, while cleaning latrines, have been known to clean and subsequently read them. Our lives are filled with so much that to read one entire page from the bible is an anomaly, and yet during times of conflict, one man's toilet paper is another's salvation. Not having anything to wipe one's rear end after consuming an extra helping of General Chang's spicy chicken at the Walmart deli looks disturbingly similar to some of the lower levels of Dante's Inferno.
Real inflation, contrary to the ridiculous propaganda being spread by mainstream news outlets; is now hovering just over 7%, and destined to climb which will drive the price of toilet paper(a non-perishable, fungible commodity)up, making even the individual squares worth more than a roll is today.
In the meantime...
Read your bible.
Stock up on toilet paper.
Question Science
Don't be superstitious.
If you can't decide what to do with this message; save it until you can.
