I've thought alot about forgiveness.
I looked the word up in the dictionary. The definition is simply,,, "To give up the will to punish".
Simple enough. You can't help your feelings and emotions when events happen. If someone harms your family, that doesn't mean you have to hang out or invite them over for dinner. You pray for them, and do nothing to harm them.
There was a radio show on a few months ago talking about forgiveness, and I think I might've read something somewhere about the physcological effects of forgiving.
This is the way it goes,,,,
Forgiving someone isn't letting them off the hook. Everyone is accountable for their actions good or bad. Forgiving is for YOU. Letting the weight lift off of your shoulders. All these pains and demons we carry around with us about some past wrong doing does us far more harm. We're hurt more by the grudge than the offender would be if we retaliated. It all sinks deep down into our hearts and minds. It makes us bitter, resentful, and depressed.
If any of us harbor resentment and refuse to forgive, we carry that around with us and we ultimately become defeatists. We end up seeing the world through sarcastic eyes. We can't see the point of doing something good because we fully expect that everyone sucks and they'll only turn around and hurt someone else. On top of all of that we end up doing bad to others who didn't deserve it and feel vendicated.
So seems to me, that forgiving isn't just for the other person, but for our own health and our own mental clarity and emotional stability. It's a way for us to keep driving on and not getting destroyed by what others do. It's about being free.