What is true forgiveness?

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Randy Kluth

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Is true forgiveness when you don't have anger anymore, or is it just that you have peace when interacting with the other person, thanks for the feedback

For me, I've given up my right to judge on my own. So it's really a matter of how God views a person. If they are unrepentant, then they aren't forgiven. Those who personally offend me certainly make me angry, but I know that vengeance isn't mine. I can say, however, that if they offend me in the same way they offend God, then it won't be good for them.

That being said, God is in a hurry to forgive those who are truly full of remorse for their wrong doing. It's just that the more wrong they do, the more God knows they will have to be disciplined, to sort of burn the rebellion out of them. And I'm sure God doesn't like having to do that.

When people do offend me, it may indeed take me awhile to feel like I've forgiven them. But the truth is, I don't judge them--I just feel the effects of their sinning against me. We all take a lot of abuse to show the love and forgiveness of God for those who are so abusive.
 

justbyfaith

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I think that the Lord can bring you to a place where you don't have any more anger towards that person; and that you shouldn't be satisfied until he has brought you to that place.

I remember the story of Corrie Ten Boom.

One of the Nazis that had had charge in the concentration camp where her sister was killed, and who had a part in her sister's death, came up to her after she gave a message about forgiveness to the church. He asked her to forgive him.

At first, all she felt was anger and an unwillingness to do so.

But she took a step of faith and reached out her hand to the man and shook it and said, "I forgive you".

When she did that, it was like there was an electrical charge that went through her body into her arm and was released into the man (he did not feel it; but she did: it was the reality of forgiveness in her heart that went towards the man).

She did not have the power to forgive the man; but she trusted that God forgave him and that He wanted her also to do so. By faith and as an act of her will, she forgave him: and the power to forgive him came from the Holy Spirit in her and completed what had begun with an act of her will.

She felt no more anger towards the man, also.
 
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thelord's_pearl

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I think that understanding that everyone comes from somewhere where they sin in one way or another helps to dissolve the anger but it's still understandable to have quite a lot of resentment in certain things but as long as you're peaceful about it and don't take it out as if it's the whole person it's ok
 

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I think that understanding that everyone comes from somewhere where they sin in one way or another helps to dissolve the anger but it's still understandable to have quite a lot of resentment in certain things but as long as you're peaceful about it and don't take it out as if it's the whole person it's ok
I would call that coping, not true forgiveness. For me, true forgiveness is when you feel exactly the same as if the person had never offended you.
 

marks

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I think that understanding that everyone comes from somewhere where they sin in one way or another helps to dissolve the anger but it's still understandable to have quite a lot of resentment in certain things but as long as you're peaceful about it and don't take it out as if it's the whole person it's ok
Real forgiveness is when in my estimation, you've not done anything against me, and I have nothing against you. Though you may have wronged me, yet I count it as if you did not.

For one thing, I don't make Law, or define right and wrong, God does, and it's His place to hold people accountable to Him, not mine. Only God can forgive sins, because sin is violation of HIS standard, not mine.

So to recognize that you and I are exactly the same in this respect, there is no basis or grounds upon which to condemn one another. So, any perceived wrong is to be ignored as, "that's the way flesh defines things".

Love hopes all things, and my hope is that you are doing your best, I'm sure you are! So any lapse, it's just what we do as people.

I speak of you and I solely for an example.

To me, the best way to help you get past some difficulty is to offer an upward path into grace, not condemning you.

"The wrath of man works not the righteousness of God." Resentment is a fleshy feeling. We can reject it. We are dead to our flesh. So we can recognize that's a dead feeling from a dead flesh, and choose to live unto God - we ARE alive unto God in Christ - and look for His Spirit in you to give you a different response to what's happening. He can fill you with forgiveness, and wisdom for how best to deal with the person.

Much love!
 
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marks

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I would call that coping, not true forgiveness. For me, true forgiveness is when you feel exactly the same as if the person had never offended you.
If I had just read one more post, I could have saved myself a lot of typing!

Much love!
 
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thelord's_pearl

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I see! Thanks guys! So as I said it's true, that you see it from another perspective, if you were that person you probably would've or could've done the same thing, that everyone comes from somewhere where they sin in one way or another so we're equal in a sense and should therefore not condemn one another, if I were brought up badly I'd probably think or act a certain way. I now have better forgiveness in me, thanks a lot everyone.
 

thelord's_pearl

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What about when Jesus said, 'Forgive them for they know not what they do'. it's like they're adults but they don't comprehend what evil they're really doing. Does the Lord forgive in this way? Can we delve into this topic more? thanks
 

thelord's_pearl

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So what I got is that it says in the Bible that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness so we're expected to confess our sins to God for our sins to be forgiven so when Jesus was on the cross he was the Lord but in the flesh so he as Lord and savior told God the Father to forgive them for they know not what they do. Furthermore, to forgive doesn't mean there's no punishment
 

TLHKAJ

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Is true forgiveness when you don't have anger anymore, or is it just that you have peace when interacting with the other person, thanks for the feedback
I wouldn't place a requirement that you would have to interact with the person you forgive. For instance, what if you experienced abuse by your father, and you came to forgive him. Would you take your children around him and possibly place your children in danger...or even place yourself back in danger?

Forgiveness and restoration are two different things.

I believe that the test of forgiveness would be how your heart feels about praying for that person. When you speak to them, are your words seasoned with grace?
 
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quietthinker

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Is true forgiveness when you don't have anger anymore, or is it just that you have peace when interacting with the other person, thanks for the feedback
Forgiveness is the manifestation of the character of God. Forgiveness is not something acquired when one is good enough. Forgiveness is a gift which we can use and abuse. Our response to forgiveness is manifested in how we behave.
 

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Furthermore, to forgive doesn't mean there's no punishment
I would say consequence rather than punishment. God is love, he never punishes but, if one puts their hand in fire, they will get burnt. That's the way things work.

I wouldn't place a requirement that you would have to interact with the person you forgive. For instance, what if you experienced abuse by your father, and you came to forgive him. Would you take your children around him and possibly place your children in danger...or even place yourself back in danger
+1
 

ChristisGod

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I would call that coping, not true forgiveness. For me, true forgiveness is when you feel exactly the same as if the person had never offended you.
Exactly it’s when you no longer hold ones sin against them in any way, shape or form. It’s as though it never happened.
 

thelord's_pearl

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Exactly it’s when you no longer hold ones sin against them in any way, shape or form. It’s as though it never happened.
I don't think in a majority of cases people can forgive others as though it never happened; they can't help but feel the effects but they don't judge them or they hold the peace. I think that's all there is to it; let's be realistic
 

Jane_Doe22

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Is true forgiveness when you don't have anger anymore, or is it just that you have peace when interacting with the other person, thanks for the feedback
Neither: forgiveness is when you hand a person's judgement over to the Lord, and allow Him to fill that hurting wound with His healing.

It doesn't mean you pretend nothing happened -- forgetting is not forgiving. But you allow Christ to heal your wounds. For serious wounds especially it can take time and come in phases (just like any other healing).
 

thelord's_pearl

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Neither: forgiveness is when you hand a person's judgement over to the Lord, and allow Him to fill that hurting wound with His healing.

It doesn't mean you pretend nothing happened -- forgetting is not forgiving. But you allow Christ to heal your wounds. For serious wounds especially it can take time and come in phases (just like any other healing).
thanks JaneDoe22, for your take in this. I like it :) Anyone else?