Whats Your Testimony?

[RANDOR]

AMEN...YOU ALL KNOW HOW EXCITED I GET WHEN I HEAR A TESTIMONY....
Yep........................the gooooooooooooooooooooooseebumps were at their peak when I read all these...why you ask.....

I always explain it this way.....................when Jesus and John jumped in the womb....

They recognized each other.............as I recognize your spirit.....my spirit (same)

YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa JUMPS FOR JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shirley]

Thank-you Brothers and sisters for your testimonies! Perhaps I will give one as well. You have made my eyes drip with tears at God's goodness!!!!

 

[KingJ]

Thanks for testimonies, made for a great read!

Please share your testimony with us, what happened the day your life began??​

​

1. Living in heavy sexual sin.
2. Catholic nuns find out and say I am going to hell.
3. I said to them that I do believe in God...I did not make myself...but if desiring X and Y gets me into hell then God made me for hell and I am ready to explain that to Him.
4. All this ''I am going to hell'' talk plays on my mind and causes me to start thinking about God and Jesus.
5. An image of the cross would come to my mind every time I was about to sin. It caused me to not. I would walk into the fields wondering what this cross in my head was and what Jesus on it really meant.
6. My best friend gave his life to the Lord and was running to come tell me the one morning. When I saw him I noticed his aura was different. He gave me his testimony and played a Christian song.
7. That night I got on my knees and said 'Lord, 1. Thank you for making me. 2. Sorry I am hurting you. 3. I desire my sin but yet I also don't want to hurt you. You made me, so you clearly love me 4. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. 5. I approve of your teaching 'Turn the left cheek > eye for eye'.
8. After this prayer Jesus spoke to me. He said 'I must not stress and focus on my sins. I must look beyond them. I must look at how I am helping other people to hell / stumbling them. If the sin was me alone, it would be less severe''. I prayed in tongues and spoke to the Lord all night. Will never forget it!
9. After that encounter I could not return to sexual immorality. It disgusted me and I could see clearly how it hurt the Lord.
10. For the next week I would ask God what am I doing on earth. Can I not come visit? At the church I started attending the preacher answered my question. But when he spoke it was like God was speaking to me. My attention was so focused on what he said. He said, God keeps us here for two reasons. 1. To serve Him and 2. to grow closer to him / get rewards in heaven.

Since then I have understood I am here simply to serve Him. I will not get the ebola. I will not go hungry. Because that does not serve God's interests.

My thinking back then was so simple / black and white. I miss it .

 

[RANDOR]

How can you miss what you just spoke...........for you just spoke it.
God Bless!
Thanks for sharing.

 

[StanJ]

My testimony is that Jesus saved me when I was 17...way back in 1971. I was raised RC but was a typical juvenile delinquent. Into drugs and breaking as many laws as I could think of. My parents had been divorced since 1970, so I was really in a rage about that.
In any event I was in juvenile detention when I was provided an opportunity to get into a half way house called Teen Haven. It was run by a charitable foundation headed up by the pastor of a large Pentecostal church in Montreal. Two or three months after going there, I got saved and met my best friend for life. God has been faithful and true to me my whole life, now, MORE than ever. He continues to manifest Himself through this earthen vessel, am continually humbled by His faithfulness and my lack thereof.

 

[Madad21]

My testimony is that Jesus saved me when I was 17...way back in 1971. I was raised RC but was a typical juvenile delinquent. Into drugs and breaking as many laws as I could think of. My parents had been divorced since 1970, so I was really in a rage about that.
In any event I was in juvenile detention when I was provided an opportunity to get into a half way house called Teen Haven. It was run by a charitable foundation headed up by the pastor of a large Pentecostal church in Montreal. Two or three months after going there, I got saved and met my best friend for life. God has been faithful and true to me my whole life, now, MORE than ever. He continues to manifest Himself through this earthen vessel, am continually humbled by His faithfulness and my lack thereof.

Excellent Stanj short but powerful, thanks for sharing bud I know that probably wasn't easy for you, but its certainly appreciated.

 

[Suhar]

[SIZE=medium] I posted my story here before but for the life of me I cannot fid it now. Sorry, it is awfully long, even longer then last time but I cannot make it any shorter. It will not make any sense if I do.[/SIZE]



[SIZE=medium]This is a letter I wrote to a pastor years ago searching for somebody with answers.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Sorry to take your time. You probably have much better things to do than read this and rather busy schedule. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Anyway. I told you that it is a very long story so I will have to go back some ways to tell it all otherwise it will make little sense.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I grew up in Christian Pentecostal family back in USSR days. By the time 1980s came Christian churches were allowed under severe restrictions and constant watchful eye of KGB representative. Every service could only be conducted with one present to take notes. Every pastor and deacon did time or at least was arrested multiple times back in 60s and 70s. House services (without KGB agent present) were conducted but in the atmosphere of extreme secrecy and only long time trusted church members were invited. Some of those took place in our house.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] At the very early age, probably at twelve years of age if not younger I was baptized with the Holy Spirit. Signs of that did not last long and soon the whole episode was forgotten. I did not understand much about it anyway but later, years later I realized it literally saved my life.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Couple of years later, when I was 14 or so my father left Christianity and went into “spiritual search” all over broad spectrum of cults and religions which flooded USSR at that time. There is probably not a religion known to men that he did not belong to at one time or another. He left my mother with four of us kids and for next few years was in and out of our lives at will, basically coming and going as he pleased. For a while he was involved with yoga cult. Real yoga not the watered down, Westernized yoga known here in US. The real deal yoga with meditations, leaving body, calling spirits with mantras.... you name it. Real demonic stuff. By that time I was a teenager with no real beliefs or convictions and one day my father introduced me to the teacher of Kung-Fu who was also part of that yoga cult. He had his own little marshal arts school which I joined. He taught mix of Kung-Fu and yoga. 50/50. It was very attractive to me at that time. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Beside regular physical training and conditioning real focus was to introduce to the spiritual side of it all. Master himself was not trained by people. He was trained by spirit. (Now this is my story takes really weird turn. it is going a little deeper than most average people can bare.)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Master Michael was not your average marshal artist. He reached level, at which “spirit of Master” came to teach him things that no human ever would. Believe it or not but it is real. Master Michael could do things well beyond human capabilities. He taught us in the way that we could take a “shortcut” and instead of years of physical training we could go up straight to the spiritual level. I did just that. After couple of years of this Kung-Fu yoga mix training I started getting some results. I could leave my body and go fly around for a while, leave my body and go run around as an animal. Short “visions” that only lasted for a very short time but felt absolutely real. On one occasion I could see my opponent throwing a strike at me and I could see his fist coming in such a slow motion that I could strike him several times before his strike even reached me. Small stuff, seconds of it here in there but it got me exited and involved even more until some way as I practiced at home, alone “spirit of master” came to teach me. Now that was a new turn for me. Not every day you see a spirit in your room. Spirit that was absolutely real, looking like those classic Shaolin masters you see in movies. After two short sessions I got a little scared. I just was not ready for going that deep and that is when everything changed. The very nice spirit became really nasty fast. He told me that I cannot leave now. It is too late, I am too deep and there is a price to pay. Soon I realized what price is. The only price that has worth in spiritual world the soul. I had to make a decision and basically give myself over or else. That is when I got really scared. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] At this point I remembered about God and things I was told in my childhood in church and cried out to God. There was nobody to help me. No human would understand me. I knew what outcome would be without God. I would commit suicide or end up in mental institution for severely insane. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Things got worse fast. As soon as I cried out to God I came under an unbelievable attack. I saw demons, scary ones, beyond description scary, heard demonic voices and laughs that were just as terrifying. Basically I was told to die, commit suicide if I wanted it all to stop, I was told that it was the only way... except.... curse the Holy Spirit and it will all be gone. All of it, the demons, the visions, voices... just curse or die.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Imagine all of this going on in the head of 17 year old that had nobody to turn to. I barely held on to my sanity and kept crying on to God. There was even time when I heard somebody telling me something like “Yes, this is “god” go ahead...” What saved me is that deep inside I knew it was not God. Deep inside somebody was guiding me on the way out of this mess. I guess the Holy Spirit never really left me, He was there all along and his voice I suppressed with all that demonic stuff. Hard to imagine but He was still there.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I went to church, came to God. Denounced all the ties to everything I was previously involved in, things were looking up. In addition to that my family and me finally got permission from US embassy to come to US, something that we were waiting for more than three years. My father seemingly came back to Christ and to my family. Everything seemed to be better.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] There was on parallel story to this one. Kind of like an extra chapter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I met this girl on the bus. Love at first site and all... Her name was Lena (Helen). It was love as much as eighteen year old could understand. Beyond physical side I really did feel like she was my soul mate. After a while I noticed one odd thing about her. At times, at random she had these weird “mood swings” which were more serious than one can expect. She came out of those relatively fast and the love lived on. After a while it got more noticeable though. I kept trying to understand what is wrong, kept asking her about it. The only thing she told me was “you will not understand, I got it from my father”. Her father was a very violent man at times. I did not know him well but he treated me as a potential son in law and I did not see anything unusual about him.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Right around this time is when I had my spiritual transformation. I took her too church too and it seemed like she came to Christ as well. One Sunday I was sick with flu and did not come to church. This is when something happened to her. She got up in the middle of the service, threw a Bible at the pastor. Screamed in barely human voice..... and all that. The classic case of a serious possession. Pastor and deacons took her to pastors house and prayed over her for couple of days. She completely lost it. Demon completely took her over. I just heard from people that were there about some things she did. On the second day her parents found her and took her to the mental institution. This is a last I heard about her for a while and I could not dare to come to her parent’s house since her father and brother blamed the whole thing on me. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Then came the final paperwork from US embassy and permission to leave from our government and we left the country.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Year or so later I got the letter from her here in US. Apparently after months of being isolated and medicated she got “normal” again. She got my address from my grandmother and wrote to me that she still loves me. I had to write her back. It was a very hard letter to write. I realized that the demon possessing her was still there and she was not willing to do what is necessary to become free of it. I think this demon is what she got from her father. It was some kind of family inherited demon.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Also my father is now very possessed man. My great grandmother was most likely a witch, my grandmother (my father’s mother) was witching some too. She got her husband by casting spells on him to make him fall in love with her. (I know how ridiculous it may sound but it is true). In this kind of cases offspring is probably dedicated, promised to the demon. So my father was most likely promised to the evil side before he was even born. (and so am I).[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] He did become Christian and it seemed like normal Christian for a little while but then he started getting into all kinds of weird cults and religions and went astray. At that point he was most likely not exactly possessed but only dedicated to the spirit and he could have fought that and get free if he wanted to but he did not.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] People that go in and out of Christianity like that do not stay free for long. Probably somewhere along his “spiritual quests” he got to the point of real possession and now he is in no control of himself. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] My childhood was a continuous nightmare of dealing with my father’s spiritual searches. He was coming and going. When he was with my family levels of his sanity were always quite unpredictable.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Well, here I am sixteen years later. Over these years I had my spiritual “highs” and “lows”. I could not stay in one church for long. I left one because I saw a huge spirit of pride behind the pastor one day, I saw a demon sitting on top of guy next to me. Sounds insane, I know. I prayed to God that I stop seeing things like that. It is just way to hard to live in this world with eyes open into the spiritual world. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] On couple of occasions God spoke to me. Yes, I know it sounds about as crazy as everything else I said before but it really happened. Like a lightning strike in the middle of clear day with words burned into my mind before I could even realize that I was spoken to. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] After all this long reading and thank you very much if you got though all that I am sure you cant wait to ask me what my question is, what is the point of telling this whole life story?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]Thing is. My life experiences left me with extremely anti-social personality. I cannot relate to pretty much anybody. I told one pastor my story once and left him basically speechless. He is a good man, good pastor, he had his own very troublesome youth experiences but nothing that would lead him to understand my small problem.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium] I cannot relate to any Christians anywhere. It is like trying to relate to group of people blind from birth. People that never saw and try to communicate with them on the level of blind. The moment I mention anything about my experiences I get put into the corner for insane people and avoided from that time on. I am not saying that I am better than anybody or special in any way. Just different to the point of being too weird to be in the same room with. Should I just give up trying and spend the rest of my days more or less in spiritual isolation?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] My problem, also, it that I live with bulls eye on my back. I guess it is just very hard to be me, I get extremely tired of this at times. I get spiritual attacks that are vicious, clear and real in more ways than most can imagine. I know everybody comes under attacks but for me they are much harder since I am always absolutely alone and attacks are more real since I often see, or feel and hear the attackers. They are relentless after all, they never get tired. Sometimes I feel like I can just about loose it especially when on top of it all I get stressful day or two or more. Quiet times in my head are very rare occasions.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Anyway. I guess, in the way I just wanted to let you know who I am, where I come from and what kind of dangerous people wonder into your church. I do not expect definitive answers or miracles of any kind. Just hoping for advice of some sort that you may offer.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Sorry for my poor attempt to write in my poor English. It is my third language and I am not doing all that good.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Thank you very much for your time.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]Daniel [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]This is the letter I wrote to another pastor few years ago. He did not know what to say. Since then I had few more “visions”. Out of the blue. In the middle of busiest time of my life all over sudden presence of God came upon me so strong I could barely move. Absolutely overwhelming presence of indescribable holiness, love and absence of time. It was not just a feeling for felling sake it was like a state of being and it was for a reason. God would tell me what the meaning of life it, tell me what I should change in myself… like a lessons in the classroom of God himself![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I have seen it before. Absence of time that is. Once on the way to church back in USSR when I all over sudden stepped into an Eternity. I do not know how describe Eternity. It is just is. It has no color or smell to it but I stood on the tiny ledge barely big enough for my feet. I understood that that is my life. My whole life is nothing more then this tiny step and while on this step I need to choose where I will spend my eternity.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium]I stood on this step for few seconds and all over sudden I was back. Standing in the middle of the street in complete shock. I pulled myself together and just kept walking.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Many years later. I felt absence of time again. This time I was just hanging out on on-line gun forum where discussions were all about politics, guns and other totally non-religious topics. I was a generic Christian with no church to go to since I could not fit in anywhere. My spiritual experiences were still quite clear in my memory but I simply did not know what to do with them.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium] Anyway. Somebody posted a topic about one member whom I knew only by his sign in name – BrianCav. He committed suicide. All I knew about him is that he was young guy that is all. We clashed on many topics but I did not have anything personal for or against him. As I am reading this topic I felt very saddened by his decision to waste his life like that. All over sudden I am not at front of computer screen anymore. I am in some incredibly dark and horrible place. Place that has no time in it and no hope. Not just NO hope but not even a possibility of hope. I saw this pile of human beings climbing over each other as if they tried to climb high enough to reach one small opening of light way up above somewhere. I looked at that opening and I knew that it is an entrance, one-way entrance into Hell. For a moment on top of this heap of humans I saw this young guy. Pale white skin red hair and somewhat narrow face with pronounced, sharp face features. He was screaming into that light and had such an utterly desperate face expression that it hurt to see it. He was screaming to God to take him out of that horrible place he was in. As I looked at him I knew that once he is taken of this pile at the entrance and into the dark he will never get out. All over sudden he felt my presence, turned his face to me and just before our eyes met….. I was back in my house at front of computer. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I was still in shock trying to make sense of what I just saw when I automatically wend back to the topic about Brian’s suicide. Somebody just posted his picture. When I saw it I felt like I had goose bumps the size of golf balls on my back. It was the pale skinned, redhead guy I just saw in Hell![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] One day, completely out of the blue demon came to my room and woke me up. Just stood there. (I was kind of drunk though. All my experiences did not turn me into saint of any kind. Still have my “ups” and “downs”. Still live like a fail-able, tired and lonely human being.) Did not say anything but the presence of absolute evil was unmistakable. I prayed to God for protection and he left.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Few weeks before that I was leaving the store I was delivering to, opened back door… and stepped into another world. Light! Light not coming from some identifiable source like Sun or light bulb of any kind. Like the molecules of air were glowing. There were three barely visible beings there. Not clearly visible. They were like the shadows made of light and they looked at me with so much love and support that was unbelievable. It was like they were applauding without any applauds. Support, love and urge not to stop, to go on. I was in an utter shock. I just walked pass them, got into the truck and then came to my censes. Hit my head “what are you doing!?” Jumped out of the truck but they were gone![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] What were they so approving of, go on where? All I do is scream and cry out to God day in and day out. If I am not distracted by something else that is what I do. It has been several months, years, really and it is intensifying continuously. Before they came to cheer me on like that I was giving up. I just said: “I quit”. No more creaming to God, no more seeking Him on personal level, just try to be “normal”, like most every other Christian.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I seek God as much as I can. At times I seek solitude and total devotion for many days in most remote places I could find and I get NOTHING. But then in the middle of my life absolutely out of the blue I get hit with these “visions” that I do not always understand.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] There was a time about four years ago when demonic attacks go quite intense. I have seen demons in possessed people just walking pass me. I heard demons in them asking me “you want to see me…. huh.. huh…? At times. It got pretty bad. I took vacation to my favorite place in the world, Big Island Hawaii. While hiking in one of the more remote places of the island presence of God came upon me. The most amazing state of being there is. God told me “it will change” and it did. I did not see one demon for more then two years. I did not see anything unusual until I walked out the back of that store few months ago. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] There are few more things I have seen over the years.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I do not know. I do not understand why I need to see what I have seen and why I need to know what I know? It is almost like “What is wrong with me?”, “Why me?” I am such a “bucket case”. Few people I told my stories to are either speechless or they tell me to go seek professional help and get medicated. “Christians” by the way. It is like I live in the different world from pretty much everybody![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] My biggest question is WHY? What is the point? I have been asking God this question for a long time and this is the question I do not get an answer to.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Anyway, like before, I am not asking for any miracles. Maybe an advise and an opinion.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] (This is an end of a letter sent to another pastor. He had pretty much the same reaction as the first. For years I sought answers from human pastors instead of seeking The Pastor!)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Well. I do not ask “why” anymore. After last experience I, finally, understand that “why” is in the mind of God. I am on the “need to know” bases and I do not need to know. I did not mention the most important experience of my life that happened to me recently. Just a few seconds in the presence of God himself! Few seconds in Heaven. Not much I can say about that. Just stood before His Unapproachable Light (1 Timothy 6:16). Had questions answered that needed to be answered, saw people that I had to see, experienced total absence of time and state of being one with God and His light! [/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium] There is no Sun in Heaven. Only His light that is brighter then bright can be yet it does not blind, does not burn and it is more awesome then I can describe.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium]For quite a while after few seconds in heaven I just totally fell apart. I mean, I literally screamed inside and cried often when nobody could see me. I did not want anybody see big, burly guy cry like a baby and I mean like a baby! Nobody could understand that, almost nobody. Same as almost nobody can understand the unbelievable, unimaginable state of being while in God’s presence, while I was one with God Himself! Everything in this world and whole world just totally lost any kind of meaning! Every waking moment my only thought, my only wish, my only desire was to go back into His presence! I screamed to God “now what?”, “how am I to live with what I know?” I was given no mission to go onto, no messages to deliver or preach… nothing. It took another profound experience from God to understand the answer to that.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Recently I had an experience (I do not call it a vision. I did not just see it. I was there to experience it.) Out of the blue long forgotten memories of events in my life started coming back. It was very unusual to say the least. All over sudden I remember something that happened to me that I forgot all about and then… flash… I see a “record” of it. I do not know how to describe it without drawing pictures but, anyway, memories kept coming back and “records” of them started forming this “thing”, kind of like a sphere, small star comprised of those “records”. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I asked God what it is. It was me! My record in the Book of Life, record of my character and everything that formed it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Then I saw one spot on it, like a gap, otherwise that “thing” was all completed. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I asked God “what is that hole?” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] God said: “it is you remaining character flaw that you have to fix” and He told me what it is.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] It was my alcohol abuse and tendency to hide from God in the bottle.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=medium] Recently thirst for God, for direct connection to God, which was there but somewhere way in the back of my mind, became just downright overwhelming. Fool that I am I was just trying to drown that thirst out. Instead of embracing the thirst I tried to hide from God in the bottle. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Once I comprehended that and made a decision to fix that hole God told me what my job is going to be in Millennial Kingdom. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] A what! A job? What job? Before that moment I did not think much of anything about Millennial Kingdom. I heard about it but never even bothered to think about that subject and I most definitely had not a slightest concept about jobs in it or even need for any kind of jobs. Whole thing was totally, entirely out of the blue. Teaching about Millenial Kingdom is almost entirely absent from Christian churches. Before that moment I heard exactly one sermon about it on the Christian radio station and it went right over my head. I did not comprehend it at all. It took direct revelation from God Himself to get my attention![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Now, I am not allowed to say what that job is but it was a biggest revelation for my life! Everything makes sense now! Everything that happened in my life, everything that did not happen in my life, everything was to form my character into one that can handle that job! [/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Meaning of our life is to choose God, choose to love God, learn everything we can about God (and other things when we have time) and develop our character into one that can handle "job" that God created us for! He cannot just give us knowledge of him since that would violate our right to be ignorant of Him.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] We are to arrive there, in Millenial Kingdom with our character fully formed to exactly fit our "job", something that we were created for by God from the very beginning! Our whole world that we know is just one large training ground for our characters! Death is not the end! It is the beginning of life everlasting. This life is just a first step (I am not talking re-incarnation) and as with all journeys the most difficult one at that![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] I used to think that if I was to go back in time I would tell my younger self to do something or not do something, to avoid mistakes, to prevent sufferings…. Not anymore! If I were to go back in time I would tell my younger self NOTHING! Everything that happened, happened for a reason! Even chronic loneliness makes cense now! If I had company of men I would not seek company of GOD![/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] It did not work out with Adam and Eve because they had no character. It will work this time. I am not saying that God does not know how to do things right the first time it was just part of the plan all along.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] PS of some sort. I am not trying to portray myself as somehow “special”, “chosen”, or “different”. The reason why God had to teach me that much is because I needed this much! Much better people then me listen to a preacher, read Word of God and put His law into their hearts to obey. Me on the other hand…. Being as stubborn and disobedient as I am I needed “special treatment”. Kind of like God’s slap in the back of my head to get my attention and show it to my face. Kind of like “Here, look. You can’t read and understand so here is a pictogram for illiterate, stubborn you!”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] Years ago back in my teenage years and days of coming back to God He put on my heart to make a lasting commitment. I said to God that He is free to do whatever He lakes, whatever it takes to deliver me to Heaven. “Please reach out to my heart but if I do not listen make me listen by any means necessary. If I ignore you slap me in the way I cannot ignore”. Years later He never forgot me, never gave up on me, never got tired of me.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=medium] God is an awesome God! All praises to Him![/SIZE]

 

[Angelina]

An awesome testimony Suhar!

God is doing a one-on-one with you...He is so good!!!

Bless you!

 

[Suhar]

An awesome testimony Suhar!

God is doing a one-on-one with you...He is so good!!!

Bless you!

[SIZE=large]That is an utterly stunning realization I came to while ago. God can do one-on-one with me or anybody else! He is outside of time so He has time for EVERYBODY who seeks Him![/SIZE]

[SIZE=16pt] To realize that God Himself The Creator of the universe and everything in it can come over to one specific person, me of all people and literally have a conversation with! It is so mind-boggling it cannot be described![/SIZE]

[SIZE=16pt] Every time I think that I know how awesome God is I later realize that I did not know first thing about that! He makes it so easy to chose Him and give myself over to Him because why would you want to do anything else other then turn yourself over to God THAT AWESOME![/SIZE]

 

[Angelina]

It can be a lonely road sometimes but I think that God has his reasons for everything that we have ever experienced in this life. The outworking of his sanctifying work in you is producing fruit that will bare in season that his name may be glorified in mighty and dunamis ways. Bless you

 

[Bronzesnake]

I'm 52, and married. I had a daughter before I met my wife. We have three adult sons. My daughter is 30 and has three children.
My life is peaceful and God has been amazing in our lives!
But...

I was born and grew up in Toronto. When I was 15 I quit school, and left home. I had a fantastic home, great parents. I had no legitimate reason to be rebellious, but rebellious I was!
I got together with A Cheyenne girl, Vicky, and she lived in the projects, so I moved into the projects to be with her.

It was a dangerous complex, with a 21 or 22 story apartment building complex. I lived across the drive in a run down, filthy townhouse with a family of miscreants like myself.
I hung around bikers, but never wanted to "strike" or join them. I didn't like stealing, and I never started a fight in my life, although I was in lots and lots of them.

I went to jail at 15 years for assault police. The cop struck me, and I returned the favor.
I drank my face off and have done every kind of illegal drug you can think of, although I never did needles. I took heroin in capsules, and loved it. I took acid ten and a time. I could drink a 40 ounce bottle of whiskey straight over the course of one night's partying. I started to throw up pure blood at fifteen also. but that did not slow me down at all. I loved being drunk and I loved being high.

I had a 1971 Mercury Cougar XR7 with a 351 Windsor engine, and that car was a rocket! It would burn rubber as long as you kept the peddle down.
I was driving illegally at fifteen, and obviously had no insurance. There were a few times when I would have to out run the police, because if I had pulled over, I wo0uld have lost my car, and been fined and most likely done jail time, because police and me back then was not a good mix. I could never keep my big yap shut, and if I was shoved, or hit by the police, I just went mental, and would be back in jail again.

I never had a job for very long, and I can't figure out why I was never booted out because I never paid for rent food nothing. All my money, when I had some, went to the "cause" cause I wanted to get wasted!

I'll slip in a short story here...
Vicky, and I went to see Super Tramp with two of our friends, George and Anne. George always had hash oil, and that was my favorite.
So we were standing right up against the stage, and the concert was amazing! Breakfast In America had just come out, and they also played a lot from Crime Of the Century, and amazing, great concert.
George pulls out a baggie with chunks of hash in it, and tears a piece off to roll a joint. Some guy from the crowd sees this and asks George if he could buy a chunk. George say hell ya, and proceeds to rip a chunk off to sell the guy. Well the next thing we know, there's two cops with their badges out, and they grab the baggie, and are in the process of arresting George.
They didn't know we were with George, and so the cop who had the baggie of hash in his hand, sort of backed up into me. Well, I just couldn't resist, so I very quickly snatched that baggie right out of his hand, and took off into the huge ocean of stoned concert folk! both cops took right after me, but they didn't have a chance of finding me in a crowd of about thirty? forty thousand?

Before we even went through the entrance, we made a plan to meet in a specific location in the stands if we were separated. so that's where we all met up, and laughed our stupid faces off. We saw the two cops walking around looking for us in general admission, and laughed even harder. Just an example of what a complete idiot I was.

I broke up with Vicky, and actually got myself together and got my own apartment, I was 17. A close buddy and I shared the bills. One night we decided to have a few people over, and so we were having some drinks and smoking weed, when I noticed there was more people than I had invited...people I didn't know started showing up.
Next thing I know there's about thirty people in our small apartment. instead of tossing them all out, my girlfriend, my buddy and I split, and went for a walk in the forest behind my building.
We ended up going to a friends and spent the night there.
When we got home the next day. My cockatiel was dead, and there was enough beer bottles on the floor to fill a dumpster! Well, not quite that many, but lots!
Some goof put whiskey in my bird's water dish. that caused me more anguish than you can imagine. I had that bird for years, and if I had found out who did that...well...anyway.

I ended up back in jail because a friend had stolen my album collection from my apartment, and I was a huge Beatles fan, and I had every album they put out, plus some very rare boot legs albums. I had all the Alice Cooper, and a lot of Wings and yes Kiss... Just a lot of albums.
I saw them in the back of his van one night, and I waited for him to show up. He eventually did, and it wasn`t good. Anyway, I went to jail, and was being held until my court date.
I had not contacted my parents for a couple of years. I am still ashamed about that. I was too self involved with myself.
Someone told my dad I was in jail again, and he bailed me out.
A condition of my bail, was I had to live with my parents. I was actually ready to simmer down, so that was good by me.
My parents sold their house, and had bought a couple of buildings and business in a town called Tottenham, and so I moved out of the city. I was 19 when I got a job in Tottenham, and started putting my life in some kind of order.
I started singing for a rock band, and we did pretty good. A couple of years into that band, and a well established, and very successful metal band came one of our concerts.
After the show, these two guys show up back stage, and want to talk to me outside.
I knew who they were because the guitar player had come to a party at a buddy`s house one time, and we were jamming that night, and he joined in. He was an awesome guitar player, and so when they asked if I would sing in their band, I accepted.

I spent the next few years in that band, and the drugs, the booze and the women were insane.
We were in negotiations with a well known label, and another label was starting to show up at our concerts, so we were having success.
I met my wife around the time the labels were coming around.
She met me at a concert, and told her two friends and her sister that she was going to marry me!! This was before we even actually were introduced!!

I had a year old daughter when I met my wife. I had been single for several months, so there was no naughty business going on...then.
We were married for a year when our first son was born.
It was around this time that my wife was really getting tired of her ``rock star`` husband.
I was doing a concert at a pretty big venue, which held over two thousand people.
My wife didn't`t get her back stage pass for some reason. I was sitting on a couch back stage talking with a good friend, who I used to work for.
I was really focused on the conversation, and it was difficult to hear because there was at least fifty people back there all mulling about. Taking advantage of the free booze and finger foods the venue provided, and attempting to seduce us...sigh no really, that crap got old very fast with me. I hated seeing people degrade themselves, almost begging to be abused. The guys were on the same page as I was, we had all seen enough of that garbage. We watched other groups take full advantage of some really pathetic young women, who were after a fake reality..anyway...

So I began to wonder why my wife wasn`t back stage. She always came back stage, and I loved that...then, as I was talking to my buddy, I hear my wife`s voice above all the noise, screaming obscenities at me!
There were two young women standing close to my buddy and I, and I was oblivious of their presence. They had very, very short, very, very tight leather skini mini skirts on, and my wife walked in just in time to see them, and she freaked! She had forced her way past the security, because they wouldn't` believe she was my wife, and so she was steaming mad about that, the mini twins put her over the top.

On the way home, we had a serious discussion, and to be honest, I was pretty sick and tired of the band, and I was ready to quit, and so I did.
My wife and our new baby boy meant way more to me than some metal band.
The guys were really mad at me, and especially since I wrote all the lyrics, so they wouldn't`t get royalties for any of them. truth is, I had planned on working out a fair percentage with them once we got to the lawyer, but we didn't`t get that far when I had quit, so they were really upset.
they couldn't`t find a suitable replacement, and so the band fell apart.
It took several years but the guitar player and I are brothers today. He actually got married last night!

After I left the band, I fell in with some serious criminals. One in particular took a shine on me and when he got his 2 keys of cocaine, I got a huge pile for free...so I very quickly became addicted to that. Snorting it wasn`t good enough so we free based it and smoked it...even worse.
I lost my job, and pretty soon we had our second boy. We lost our home, and ended up moving in with her parents, who were violent alcoholics. The house was an absolute pig hole, it would have been condemned had any
inspector came around.

I`m going on pretty long in the tooth here, so I`ll cut to the chase.
One night, my wife was working nights, and I was at home with our two baby boys.
I had run out of cocaine about two hours ago, and I began to withdraw...ya, just a couple of hours without and I started getting really sick.
I was sitting on the edge of our bed. My two year old boy was sleeping in a single bed against a wall, my infant son was sleeping against the other wall in his crib.
I sat there and started breaking up. I just looked at my two beautiful miracle boys, and started thinking about what a complete looser I was. What a complete failure of a father I was...a complete failure of a husband. My wife didn't do drugs, and she didn't drink, so I was a real piece of...well... anyway..
so I started to tear up...and I hated crying...my dad was a WWII vet, he served aboard the aircraft carrier Illustrious, and men do not cry!
But there I was...crying I knew the withdrawal was only gonna get sicker and sicker by the hour...but that wasn`t the worst, it was the realization that I was failing my boys.
That was the very lowest point in my life...I couldn't`t kill myself, that would be selfish, my wife and kids needed me, even if I was a looser.
I sank lower and lower and lower then I heard a strong, loud voice call my name from behind me...what! I knew I heard it, there was zero doubt. It was not a hallucination, because I had plenty of those, and I knew the difference, no, this was real...I just sat there...then again `John, don`t worry, everything is going to be alright` Wow! I wasn`t a Christian then, but there was no doubt that God just spoke to me!!

I won`t even attempt to describe how my entire soul was strengthened there`s no words...I sat there waiting, but He didn't`t speak again...it was about an hour later, when I noticed an astonishing thing...
I wasn`t withdrawing any more! What! I was totally, and instantly healed of my addiction to cocaine!! I had no more desire for it, no craving for it, no sickness without it!
this was miraculous!! God is real He spoke to me!! He freekin spoke...to me!!

two weeks later we got a phone call, and the man on the line tells me the apartment I applied for somehow became available! Ya, there was a two year waiting list, but everyone ahead of me got other accommodations!!
WHAT!! I never applied for any apartment!! This was subsidized, but in a town where my parents were then living in, Keswick...I didn't`t apply for the apartment and my wife knew nothing about it.
Turns out my mother applied for us, but when she was told there was a two year waiting list, she didn't`t tell us about it.
We moved in to a new building in a fantastic town right beside Lake Simcoe! This was miraculous!
I ended up with a kidney disease and chronic pancreatitis, and so I got on disability.
Brand new townhouses were built across the street and some were subsidized and so we applied, but get this...there was a two year waiting list!
two weeks later we got a call, and yes, we got a townhouse!
We lived there for thirteen years, had another son, and then tragedy.
My brother was struck with pancreatic cancer...he didn't`t know Jesus. He was given two months...I started telling him about Jesus but he wasn't buying it, He was angry at any god who would do this to him with four young daughters. My brother refused to hear anything about any God...his time was almost up what could I do but pray!

Two months...three years later, I was at my brothers house for New Years eve, as we always had. He asked to speak to me privately...he says John, I did it - I said what...I asked Jesus into my life... we hugged and cried.
Feb 4 my niece called us because my brother had fallen.
So my wife and I went to his house about three minutes drive.
We walked in his house and saw him laying on the kitchen floor with his head in his eldest girls lap...he was gone... I had to tell his girls and they all started howling and moaning and sobbing...terrible
I was so angry at God...I wanted nothing to do with Him anymore...I believed in my heart that if I prayed real hard, God was going to heal my brother...I believed it! and he died.
for months I was seething...then I had a dream...God showed me that He actually did heal my brother,,,actually He did even better, He SAVED my brother. I realized that knowing my brother as I did, if he had have been healed, he would very quickly forget about God, then, if he had have died suddenly, say from a heart attack, or accident, he may not have been saved, so God had patience and showed me the truth. My brother is with Jesus, I know he is.

I struggled with drinking and smoking weed for a couple of more years, but eventually God got me right off of them.

Today. we live in a home we built ten years ago, on a huge lot, in the old part of town, surrounded by huge pine trees, huge maple tree, just like living right in an old forest...a stones throw away from the lake. Its great!

Today, I am a strong, faithful Bible believing Christian, and my wife and I are the very best of buddies, all our boys are doing great, they all love Jesus. My daughter is doing very good, with her own growing business...life it fantastic!!

Thanks for inviting us to share...this is a LOOOONG one!! Thats because Im so old!!

 

[judd]

i love this topic. true life stories rock. Just to know that you are not alone in it.

 

[Bronzesnake]

i love this topic. true life stories rock. Just to know that you are not alone in it.

Great post brother. I was also a catholic until I realized what was going on!

John