Who Belongs To Your Inner Circle?

[Angelina]

 

[bdavidc]

Good word here. There is wisdom in learning that everybody can be loved, but everybody cannot be trusted with the same level of access.

Even Jesus loved perfectly, yet John tells us, “Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men” ~John 2:24. That is not bitterness. That is discernment. Love keeps the heart right, but wisdom decides who gets close enough to handle what is sacred.

Some people belong at the table. Some people belong in the room. Some people belong outside the house, where you can still wave, still speak kindly, and still pray for them, but you do not hand them the keys to your heart.

The danger is going too far either way. Some people trust everybody and get wounded over and over. Others get wounded once and decide to trust nobody. Neither one is biblical. Proverbs says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” ~Proverbs 4:23. Guarding your heart does not mean hardening your heart. It means letting God teach you the difference between love and access.

I would only add this caution. Sometimes a broken relationship is not just a misplaced circle. Sometimes there is real sin, gossip, pride, deceit, or division that has to be dealt with plainly. Scripture says, “mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them” ~Romans 16:17. So we forgive, yes. We love, yes. But we do not pretend discernment is unloving.

The goal is simple: keep your heart soft before God, but do not leave it unlocked for everybody. Love people with grace. Trust people with wisdom. And let Scripture, not hurt, decide how close they get.

 

[PS95]

Good word here. There is wisdom in learning that everybody can be loved, but everybody cannot be trusted with the same level of access.

Even Jesus loved perfectly, yet John tells us, “Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men” ~John 2:24. That is not bitterness. That is discernment. Love keeps the heart right, but wisdom decides who gets close enough to handle what is sacred.

Some people belong at the table. Some people belong in the room. Some people belong outside the house, where you can still wave, still speak kindly, and still pray for them, but you do not hand them the keys to your heart.

The danger is going too far either way. Some people trust everybody and get wounded over and over. Others get wounded once and decide to trust nobody. Neither one is biblical. Proverbs says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” ~Proverbs 4:23. Guarding your heart does not mean hardening your heart. It means letting God teach you the difference between love and access.

I would only add this caution. Sometimes a broken relationship is not just a misplaced circle. Sometimes there is real sin, gossip, pride, deceit, or division that has to be dealt with plainly. Scripture says, “mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them” ~Romans 16:17. So we forgive, yes. We love, yes. But we do not pretend discernment is unloving.

The goal is simple: keep your heart soft before God, but do not leave it unlocked for everybody. Love people with grace. Trust people with wisdom. And let Scripture, not hurt, decide how close they get.

Thank you both for these. I've made this mistake so many times. This makes perfect sense- it will end a lot of unnecessary pain. Thank you. I think we tend do this without realizing it to some degree. But understanding it's purpose is enlightening.
@Angelina

 

[Kayla McCanny]

I didn't watch the video, but lord knows I need an inner circle. I have one good friend, but I can't be her best friend because her pastor whom she admires stold money from my mom. It made my mom cry. I can't tell her I'm schkiteffective disorder only that I have bipolar. She doesn't understand why I don't hang out with her. She isn't upset about it just thinks I'm busy.

 

[Debp]

She doesn't understand why I don't hang out with her. She isn't upset about it just thinks I'm busy.

Maybe you can just say you are having some health issues so currently can't hang out.

 

[quietthinker]

I like what this guy has to say about the various circles of 'trust' This is very helpful to understand.
After the end of his talk however, there is advertisement of promotion of his own show ie, how great his ministry is. This approach I find questionable.

 

[Angelina]

I'm afraid most on-line ministries tend to have this type of ad at the end of their videos @quietthinker

 

[quietthinker]

I'm afraid most on-line ministries tend to have this type of ad at the end of their videos @quietthinker

Yes, there is much of it. It does not sit comfortably with me.