B
brakelite
Guest
I don't understand God's love for me. I don't understand why, and the older I get, the less I understand. A momentary time of insanity may envelop me, and I think I have it all sussed, then my eyes are opened, sanity prevails, and I realise my recognition and acceptance of my mortality and ignorance is in fact an expression of clarity.
Sure, I know He created me, and therefore He loves me. However, to be honest, I am a long way from the image of God I am intended to be. I thank God however that I have come a long way from where I was...a warped, selfish, perverted, hopeless, helpless, rebellious, evilly inclined moral virus. And yet God loved me even then! I don't understand that.
If I come to a point in my life wherein is perplexity and uncertainty, I tend to think about what God's will would be for me in that situation, and then pray that such and such should happen, please, and the sooner the better. After having suggested to God the best way He ought to be handling this particular difficulty, and pointing out to HIm that His best laid plans don't seem to be working out, I wonder how it was that the devil got the better of HIm. Yet despite such stupid reasoning on my part, He still loves me. I don't understand that.
Why does God love me? I have no idea. Calvary proves He does, but doesn't tell me why. It certainly isn't because I've earned it. The Bible informs me that my own heart can at times deceive me into believing that when I pray for something, I can expect to receive it because I deserve it. I because I have some inherent right to expect favours. But no, I have no rights. What I do have are promises. But not rights. And the most outrageous promise is the one God is most determined to keep. That promise is to recreate me in His own image! After 6000 years of hereditary failure, slandering of His reputation, desecrating all that He has called holy, abusing all the people He loans us to cherish and love, poisoning myself and others through my addictions, lusts, and pride, corrupting the very place He has given me for a home, and He still wants to recreate me in His image? Why not throw me away and start again? What manner of love is this? I don't understand it.
What am I that God is mindful of me? What is this man that God would ever give any consideration to? I do not have any more light on that than did David when He wrote it 3000 odd years ago. So why? Honestly, I don't think it matters. All He asks of us is that we believe it. Maybe it will always be a mystery, just to make eternity all the more interesting. So, where do I go from here?
I have discovered that God loves me regardless of circumstance, regardless of my behaviour, regardless of motives, habitat, purpose, past, present, or future. God's love is constant, infinite, complete, self-sacrificial, all-encompassing, immovable. In the words of Paul, love bears all things,believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. God does not decide or choose to love. Love is who He is. He can't help Himself. He IS love. Everything He does is motivated ny love. Even the destruction of the wicked is for their own good!
So when I read that all things work together for good for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose, I believe it. When I read that He so loved me that He gave His only begotten Son to die for me, I believe it. When I read that along with Jesus, He will freely give me all things, I believe it.
Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. The whys...I will leave that for later. Much later. It is enough that He does. Thank you Lord.
Sure, I know He created me, and therefore He loves me. However, to be honest, I am a long way from the image of God I am intended to be. I thank God however that I have come a long way from where I was...a warped, selfish, perverted, hopeless, helpless, rebellious, evilly inclined moral virus. And yet God loved me even then! I don't understand that.
If I come to a point in my life wherein is perplexity and uncertainty, I tend to think about what God's will would be for me in that situation, and then pray that such and such should happen, please, and the sooner the better. After having suggested to God the best way He ought to be handling this particular difficulty, and pointing out to HIm that His best laid plans don't seem to be working out, I wonder how it was that the devil got the better of HIm. Yet despite such stupid reasoning on my part, He still loves me. I don't understand that.
Why does God love me? I have no idea. Calvary proves He does, but doesn't tell me why. It certainly isn't because I've earned it. The Bible informs me that my own heart can at times deceive me into believing that when I pray for something, I can expect to receive it because I deserve it. I because I have some inherent right to expect favours. But no, I have no rights. What I do have are promises. But not rights. And the most outrageous promise is the one God is most determined to keep. That promise is to recreate me in His own image! After 6000 years of hereditary failure, slandering of His reputation, desecrating all that He has called holy, abusing all the people He loans us to cherish and love, poisoning myself and others through my addictions, lusts, and pride, corrupting the very place He has given me for a home, and He still wants to recreate me in His image? Why not throw me away and start again? What manner of love is this? I don't understand it.
What am I that God is mindful of me? What is this man that God would ever give any consideration to? I do not have any more light on that than did David when He wrote it 3000 odd years ago. So why? Honestly, I don't think it matters. All He asks of us is that we believe it. Maybe it will always be a mystery, just to make eternity all the more interesting. So, where do I go from here?
I have discovered that God loves me regardless of circumstance, regardless of my behaviour, regardless of motives, habitat, purpose, past, present, or future. God's love is constant, infinite, complete, self-sacrificial, all-encompassing, immovable. In the words of Paul, love bears all things,believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. God does not decide or choose to love. Love is who He is. He can't help Himself. He IS love. Everything He does is motivated ny love. Even the destruction of the wicked is for their own good!
So when I read that all things work together for good for those that love Him and are called according to His purpose, I believe it. When I read that He so loved me that He gave His only begotten Son to die for me, I believe it. When I read that along with Jesus, He will freely give me all things, I believe it.
Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. The whys...I will leave that for later. Much later. It is enough that He does. Thank you Lord.