I recently went to church for the first time in 13 years. I'd left previously over the abuse I'd received while attending a Celebrate Recovery group.
When I showed up at a new church a few months ago, I hadn't cut any hair on my body for awhile as I felt led not to...kinda like "sticking my toe in the water" to acclimatize myself to my recently discovered Hebrew ancestry, and I admit, I probably looked like I'd been living in the wilderness for some time. It was a sign of my consecration to the Lord.
I was asked if I'd been a biker, to which I said something like, "No, I've never ridden." Someone mentioned something about the church's 12-step group and I thought attending it may help get me off the last bit of my nicotine habit. And I wanted to hang out. So I went.
I addressed the group.
I briefly told my story, including my health issues and the life-saving support I've received over the years from my physician. After vilifying doctors, the leader responded by saying, "Yeah, I've used that story myself a few times." For the first time in a few years, I had to use my nitro-glycerin. For an angina attack.
After making it clear that I was there for my one addiction, that being nicotine, prayer was given for my addictions. I bought a book for $20. It said that if one had, in their past, abused a certain medication, it was impossible for them to ever use is properly again. It also said that if one did use it, they were indulging in sinful pleasure and needed to repent of it.
"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man `unclean. ' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. Matthew 15: 17,18,19
While at that meeting, I was instructed that using prostitutes was not a big deal. "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people." - Ephesians 5:3
I later noticed that "American Idol" was on a monitor.
Look, I'm not going to condemn anyone because I know that sanctification is a process of repentance (not excuses). But when my take-away from one night is that what one puts in their body makes one unclean but sexual lust coming from the heart is not a big deal, and that it's okay to be entertained, as I saw the leaders doing, by the world, well, I know it's time to move on.
"…24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. 25
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, so that the outside may become clean as well.…" Matthew 23:24-26