A Fist Full of Doubt's
- Thread starter I.O.U
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Ziggy
Well-Known Member
I'm sure there are a few.
McDonald
the Burger King
Wendy
Carl Jr.
Sbarro
you can make a donation to the Waffle House or the International House of Pancakes.
You better eat like a maniac while you can because a lot of these fastfood businesses are going out of business.
Eventually you will eat whatever the government decides to put on your plate.
You will eat whatever they give you and like it.
World has gone lunatic..
I have to kick this stupid forum like a bad habit.I'm sure there are a few.
McDonald
the Burger King
Wendy
Carl Jr.
Sbarro
you can make a donation to the Waffle House or the International House of Pancakes.
You better eat like a maniac while you can because a lot of these fastfood businesses are going out of business.
Eventually you will eat whatever the government decides to put on your plate.
You will eat whatever they give you and like it.
World has gone lunatic..
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
amigo de christo
Well-Known Member
Yes indeed dear sister . Most think they actually do Gods will . Some of the nicest people they can be . Very sensual .I hear you Brother,
But not everyone is arrogant and deliberately defiant.
There are many that are still lost and confused and misunderstood.
Sometimes it takes a hug or two to unshackle the chains.
HUGS
Mar 5:2 And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
Mar 5:3 Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:
Mar 5:4 Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.
Mar 5:5 And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.
Mar 5:15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
Mar 5:16 And they that saw it told them how it befell to him that was possessed with the devil, and also concerning the swine.
Mar 5:18 And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.
Mar 5:19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.
Psa 86:15 But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.
I believe there is a difference between those who profess to know him, and those who are looking for him.
There is a time for fire and a time for rain.
The man made churches of today do not know God even though they profess that they do. They need the fear of fire under their feet.
When the children of Israel approached Mt.Sinai, they saw the thunder and the lightenings and the fire and they were afraid and they wouldn't come near.
When the children of Israel approached Jesus, they found mercy and compassion and healing, and they would come to hear him.
I believe that fire and rain compliment each other.
Hugs
Very welcoming . But deep down the truth in scripture bothers them and they will make it known .
Watch what most people focus on . THIS will show you where the heart truly is .........
Examine ourselves and one another . Just watch . are folks hungry for bible truth , or are they worldly and talk about
the things of this world . Just watch . Remember the First faith , the first love . WHEN the heart hungered
after truth and nothing less would satisfy it . MANY and i do mean many must return to this first love .
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
You ever get sick and tired of being sick and tired?
And a feeling of no matter how much you try, it's never good enough?
I'm having one of those days.
There is only one person in my life at this time. I understand the limitations and I try to be patient.
It would be nice once in awhile to be shown the same courtesy.
This is a self-pity post. I get accused of doing things and accused of not doing enough.
And I get blamed for responsibilities that are not mine to be responsible for.
Maybe it's just easier to blame me for the lack of other people keeping up with their own responsibilities.
I'm just tired of being made to feel guilty when I didn't do anything wrong.
A shop filled with fabric and furniture and crap
you open the door and you feel like your trapped
your not to touch things because they are not yours
then told to make room to insulate the doors.
Over the years it's got moldy and weak
the ceiling it's seems has developed a leak
You try to move boxes that are watered down
because his girl's son is coming to town
He patches the ceiling and takes a few pictures
then drives on back home and shows all the fixtures
Why didn't you tell me the roof had a leak?
You knew he was coming in less than a week
5am this morning I put on my coat
I opened the door and moved a few totes
But the boxes were broken and the fabric was wet
So I left them alone until help I could get
And then came the phone call made every night
Why didn't you tell me it was such a sight?
You know that I told you to not touch a thing
but you could have done better and kept an eye on everything.
And a feeling of no matter how much you try, it's never good enough?
I'm having one of those days.
There is only one person in my life at this time. I understand the limitations and I try to be patient.
It would be nice once in awhile to be shown the same courtesy.
This is a self-pity post. I get accused of doing things and accused of not doing enough.
And I get blamed for responsibilities that are not mine to be responsible for.
Maybe it's just easier to blame me for the lack of other people keeping up with their own responsibilities.
I'm just tired of being made to feel guilty when I didn't do anything wrong.
A shop filled with fabric and furniture and crap
you open the door and you feel like your trapped
your not to touch things because they are not yours
then told to make room to insulate the doors.
Over the years it's got moldy and weak
the ceiling it's seems has developed a leak
You try to move boxes that are watered down
because his girl's son is coming to town
He patches the ceiling and takes a few pictures
then drives on back home and shows all the fixtures
Why didn't you tell me the roof had a leak?
You knew he was coming in less than a week
5am this morning I put on my coat
I opened the door and moved a few totes
But the boxes were broken and the fabric was wet
So I left them alone until help I could get
And then came the phone call made every night
Why didn't you tell me it was such a sight?
You know that I told you to not touch a thing
but you could have done better and kept an eye on everything.
Your father has his personal beliefs about how to treat you, and you have yours about him. Because of that you'll never be able to find common ground. He doesn't understand you if he only believes thing's about you, and you can not understand him because of the same thing. If you dropped the beliefs you have about him, it wouldn't cause him to treat you any better. If he did the same for you, you wouldn't treat him any better. Both sides have to demolish those walls of beliefs before anything can make sense.
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
Waiting on him
Well-Known Member
Waiting on him
Well-Known Member
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
Nothing is going to change.
I wrote a post about as long as a seven year olds christmas wish list, then deleted it.
Nothing is going to change.
I'm greatful for what I have in this moment in time.
A roof over my head, food to eat and clothes on my back, and a place to enjoy my cats.
When he goes, they go, then I go.
And where I end up, only God knows.
It's hard to explain what I walked back into when I asked my dad if I could come back home to the cottage.
My mom used to keep everything in it's place and a place for everything. I'm not the cleanest bug on the planet, but I do my best to make things livable and company friendly.
But when my dad met his new girl, I don't think he knew what he was getting into either.
On this property I live on is a 3 bedroom mobile home which I live in, a 2 bedroom cottage, a 2 car garage with an attic. A craft shop attached to the garage, 3 small sheds. She has her own house with an attached garage and a storage building.
This is how my dad lives. When I came here I was able to make a path for him to walk from one end of the mobile to the other.
It took me almost 2 years and I'm still working at it.
(Remember, I'm not supposed to move anything or throw anything away, and yet be responsible for everything regardless. )
Not being able to move around myself this has been a daunting task.
Now in this shed there was a leak in the back of the room....
Nothing is going to change
example:
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Oh, he's a hoarder...nothing's going to change, not impossible if he turned to God. But short of that...
Ziggy
Well-Known Member
It's his girl that is the hoarder. And they lived here on this property for a few years. In between his place and her place, this place became the storage place for everything that wouldn't fit in her place.
And they abandoned the property for some 20 years, not living in it, but adding to it all the time.
The cottage roof is caving in and the floor is really soft.
I had to call a guy with a saw to cut the bottom of the front door to open it because the floor had swelled so much it was blocking it from behind. There is only one entrance in. Once inside it looks like the video, filled with fabric and tools and boxes and furniture. Floor to ceiling and wall to wall.
I need to remove a refrigerator and a freezer from the cottage to the garage. I have a guy who is willing for a $100. to support the roof and move the appliances. My dad almost hit the roof saying that was way too expensive. (I'M PAYING FOR IT btw)
Now in the garage is all old furniture from dressers to shelving, which are also loaded with fabric and boxes and more boxes. So much so, I can't get from the door to the stairs that lead to the attic. Covered in cobwebs and grime, it gives me the creeps just walking in there, or trying to.
But I need to make room in there for the refrigerator and the freezer.
And he keeps reminding me that winter is near.
He won't tell her to move it, he won't ask her sons to move it. But if I don't get it done then it's my fault if the roof falls in and they get damaged.
And now he wants the plywood on the walls removed and replaced because the leaking made everything moldy in the shop adjoined to the garage, which itself is another hoarders paradise. His girlsfriend's son is a carpenter, but we won't talk about that, we don't want to impose on her family.
My dad came to visit me the other day so I could wash his hair, give him a shave.. because he don't like the way her water smells. It smells like sewer water. Somebody must of used the wrong piping when they redid the plumbing.
So he don't take showers there. And I don't have a problem washing him from the waist up and his knees down.
My grandma used to say, "You wash everything up as far as possible and down as far as possible, and I'll wash possible"
Tha's my motto too, so long as he is still able.
I'm not a nurse or had any training other than washing a babies bottom. But damn it, if you need me to I will.
She won't wash his hair or shave him because it makes her feel uncomfortable. That's ok, I can do it.
So I took him home and she had food boxes all over the floor, bags in his chair, he barely got by the boxes and had nowhere to sit down.
He gets frustrated and tells me he's moving in with me, then tells me I better get ready to move.
I know why he gets grumpy with me. It's not coming from him, it's coming from her.
So he'll keep things smooth with her and take his fratrations out on me.
It's always been this way. If he had a bad day at work, he would come home and take it out on my mom.
I gave a lot of thought to coming here. I chose to forgive and forget the past and maybe start new.
But he enjoys holding grudges and using them against you.
The only reason I am here now is because he doesn't have much time left. Or maybe I never really spent much time with him and I'm trying to make up for it. Maybe it's just because my cats need a home and I'm willing to eat crow to keep them.
Maybe it's a little of all of the above.
My shoulder hurts, I got a cold I don't know where from, and I won't be going near a doctor to find out.
In the meantime I'm looking for someone to replace the plywood. I may end up paying for that too.
It's like investing money into a landlord's property knowing your being evicted at the end of the month.
Except the landlord is my dad and I know he can't do it either. His hands can hardly handle the phone to make calls.
But his girlsfriend could. She a mighty fine craftess and spends hours and hours making potholders for the country craftfairs.
Her hands work fine. She's in better shape at 78 then I am at 56.
But she's just too busy and we wouldn't want to impose on other people, even when it's their things that are causing the problems.
But we won't talk about that....
Reeeeeeeeeee
This too shall pass..
I'm just ranting because I'm not feeling good right now. And winter is coming and I'm heading towards those moody blues.
Wondering if I will still be here come spring.
I got the shovel and the ice pick ready. Have to keep the gutter clear, the deck deiced, and make sure the driveway is passable.
Incase he gets a bout of frustration at a moments notice and says he's moving in for a few weeks.
When my dad called me last night he told me a lot of that stuff cluttering the shop will need to go.
I would of liked to seen the look on his girl's face when he said that.
No doubt she'll hate me more now.
Because everything is my fault.
LOL
Reeeeeeeeee
Hahaha
Hugs
(sorry for the rant, just grumpy)
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