BarneyFife
Well-Known Member
Praying for you, Sister!Thank you Marks,
Sure needed to hear that today, yesterday, day before...etc It's exactly how it works with me and it ALWAYS starts in the mind, and always a negative self defeating thought, thoughts of God not really loving me, He cares in material ways with the just and the unjust but it is the Spiritual that we all should be wanting to be blessed with. Funny how we (some) have no issues with trusting Him with our needs like, food, shelter...BUT...what I see missing in my life is Spiritual "sight", so as not to stumble. I stumble daily brother, and it is the most horrible thing as it's always the same thing, leaves me very weak in spirit.
Learning to walk in The Spirit WHILE being led by Him is ALL this gal desires yet, still eludes. Money and material things never meant anything to me, even in my B.C. days yet, He has made sure I can take care of my self alone, monetarily.
Sometimes it seems as though I'm going insane, for real...alone almost 100% of the time now...do not watch tv. One can only read the word for so long, be on this site for so long, play stupid mindless golf and bowling games on the phone for so long.
There is no Church around me that I will go to, or return to as, waste of time to myself as just cannot get close with folks and that hurts. So, choosing to stay home on Sunday makes me no difference. We can get our teaching, worship, and prayer done just fine at home but, it is the fellowship that is sorely missing here...never thought it would be so difficult to find Christian friends...in the flesh (You know what I mean, "IRL")
It's not healthy for mind, body or spirit to be so alone for the lions share of time but, what to do? Prayers for this very thing have gone unanswered for years so, what is one to think about that? I have much to give! Edification, empathy, rides for those too old or infirm to drive to church, Dr.'s visits, shopping, pray with, study with on and on.
I have to wonder why this prayer has not been answered? Unless I'm just fooling my own self and He has NOT "chosen" me? Yeah, INSANITY right now bro. Thanks for the post.
This man has helped me greatly:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1dq4FBSWyKpVtEU53uHXHy_rMwxZ3HU8