Phileo and Agape Love

[Berean]

DUTY-LOVE (PHILEO) ILLUSTRATED.​

"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." – Matt. 10:37.

Duty-love to our family relatives is right, but it must not equal our duty-love toward the Lord, else we can never follow him as "overcomers."

"He that loveth his life shall lose it." – John 12:25.

It is our duty to love life, in the sense of appreciating it and being unwilling to destroy it or waste it foolishly; but he who has become Christ's disciple and who is pledged to walk in his footsteps even unto death is to remember that he has already surrendered his life as a man, exchanging it for the hope of life as a "new creature," a spiritual being. He is no longer to be controlled by phileo or duty-love toward earthly life, but, moved by agape love, he is to willingly lay down his natural life in the service of God – "for the brethren."

"For the Father himself loveth you, BECAUSE ye have loved me." – John 16:27.

In both of these cases phileo signifies duty-love. This was the highest form of love the disciples as a whole could as yet appreciate, as Peter testified. And the Father's love for them was the same duty-love: the disciples had not yet received the holy spirit and its agape or higher disinterested love and its character, and hence the Father could not love them for themselves but exercised a duty-love toward them merely because they had attained a duty-love toward Christ and had become his friends and disciples.

"If ye were of the world, the world would love his own." – John 15:19.

Phileo or duty-love is exercised by the worldly parent and child and neighbor on the selfish basis – "his own."

"If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ let him be Anathema Maranatha [ – he shall be accursed or condemned to the Second Death when the Lord comes]." – 1 Cor. 16:22.

An appreciation of the work of Christ will be expected of all when brought to a knowledge of the salvation which God has provided in him: and whoever refuses to respond in phileo or duty-love will be cut off from life early in the Millennial reign. But those who exercise the phileo or duty-love will be expected to press forward and to attain the "mark" of agape love, true, disinterested character love, – if they would attain life everlasting. Thank God that the present life does not close the door of opportunity to any that have never known phileo or duty-love, nor to many who have known this, but have not yet attained agapee.

"Love of money," "lovers of their own selves," "loveth to have preeminence," "lovers of pleasure," "lover of hospitality," and friend, are from phileo, duty-love or a love which has a cause or demand upon it. Peter exhorts that we add to brotherly kindness (phileo) the next and higher grade of disinterested love – agape. – 2 Pet. 1:7.

DISINTERESTED LOVE (AGAPEE) ILLUSTRATED.​

"God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son." – John 3:16.

The love prompting man's redemption was not phileo or duty-love, for God had not wronged his creature in the sentence of death; nor had man ever done anything for his Creator which could put the latter under obligation or duty-love in return. God's love prompting to our redemption was agape, or disinterested charity, benevolence, love.

"God commandeth his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for the ungodly." – Rom. 5:8.

This love (agape) which God exemplified is the kind he sets before us as the highest standard or "mark" toward which we must run if we would gain the prize; – a mark which is impossible to our fallen flesh, but which is attainable by our renewed minds, wills, hearts. This standard is expressed in the words: –

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy soul, mind, strength; and thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." – Luke 10:27; Rom. 3:9.

"The end of the commandment is love." – 1 Tim. 1:5.

That is to say, the object of all instruction and discipline on God's part is to bring us to this character likeness to himself represented in this word agape – love; for "God is love [agape], and he that dwelleth in love [agape] dwelleth in God and God in him." – 1 John 4:16.

We are to recognize as "brethren" those who have only the phileo degree of duty-love, as Paul did when he wrote, "Greet [for me] all that love [phileo] us in the faith" (Titus 3:15); but we are to see to it that we "love the brotherhood" (1 Pet. 2:17) with agape or higher love, which counts not present life precious and to be saved, but gladly lays down life for the brethren – in daily and hourly sacrifices of time and money and all earthly interests on their behalf. – 1 John 3:16.

Peter contrasts the two loves in one verse, saying, "Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the spirit unto [the extent of] unfeigned love [phileo] of the brethren, see that ye [go on to] love [agape] one another with a pure heart, fervently." – 1 Pet. 1:22.

"Love [agape] worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love [agape] is the fulfilling of the Law." – Rom. 13:10.

It is agape that is mistranslated "charity" in 1 Cor. 8:1 – "Knowledge puffeth up, but agape buildeth up."

It is agape that is misrendered "charity" in the Apostle's great discourse on love in 1 Cor. 13:1,2,3,4,8,13; 14:1. Here he styles agape love the principal thing of Christian character, the crown of all Christian graces, telling us that without it all sacrifices and self-denials would be valueless in God's esteem, while with it as the inspiring motive our feeblest efforts are acceptable through Christ.

 

[Lambano]

In both of these cases phileo signifies duty-love

Looking at Strong's definition of "phileo", I think it refers to affectionate love. "Agape" would be "duty-love".

φιλέω philéō, fil-eh'-o; from G5384; to be a friend to (fond of (an individual or an object)), i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while G25 ("Agape") is wider, embracing especially the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety: the two thus stand related very much as G2309 and G1014, or as G2372 and G3563 respectively; the former being chiefly of the heart and the latter of the head); specially, to kiss (as a mark of tenderness):—kiss, love.

 

[Ritajanice]

Short commentary.

What did Jesus mean by agape?
The term agape refers to unconditional love. Christianity teaches that this is the highest type of love, and it is the love that Jesus has for humans. Agape involves feeling so much love for someone that you put them before yourself. The most famous teaching of Christ on this is from the Last Supper in John's Gospel.

 

[Berean]

Looking at Strong's definition of "phileo", I think it refers to affectionate love. "Agape" would be "duty-love".

We have a duty to love God and a duty to love one another

 

[Lambano]

We have a duty to love God and a duty to love one another

This is true. And the word "love" used in Mark 12:30-31 ("Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and mind and soul and strength, and thy neighbor as thyself") and synoptic parallels is ἀγαπάω "agapao".

So, I think you have phileo and agapao reversed. But since this site allows unlimited editing, you can go back to your OP and flip them around. Then I'll delete my posts and no one will be the wiser.

 

[KUWN]

One of the most famous events in ancient history was the assassination of Gaius Julius Caesar on the Ides of

March in 44 BC. Some 200 years later, a Roman historian named Dion Cassius, described the funeral that

followed. Of particular interest was this sentence he penned:

“You loved him as a father, and you loved him as a benevolent leader.”

These words, according to Dion, were spoken by Marc Antony to the mass of Roman citizens who had assembled

for Caesar’s funeral. So far, nothing seems unusual, right?

Well, let’s look at this sentence a little closer. I want to call your attention to the word “love” which appears twice.

You have probably heard of several Greek words for love, one being Agape.


You likely associate Agape love with God’s love. In the famous John 3:16 passage, we read:

“For God so loved (Agape) the world…”

In 1 John 4:8, we are told: “God is love (Agape).”

So, you are on pretty safe ground when you identify Agape as God’s love. That is, it’s the love that is a part of

God’s very nature. In fact, the Apostle John describes this love as being “alien” to humans. There is no human

parallel.

There is another word for love (a synonym) in the Greek: Phileo.

This word is often associated with a friendship kind of love. Of the two words, Agape is generally considered the

higher, more virtuous love, while Phileo has been considered, to some extent, lower on the totem pole. This is what

a first and second year Greek student will tell you.


With this distinction in mind, let’s return to that sentence uttered by Marc. I will tell you now that when Dion wrote

this he used both Greek words, Agape and Phileo. Here is that sentence again with Greek words added:

“You loved (Phileo) him as a father, and you loved (Agape) him as a benevolent leader.”

Isn’t that a bit odd? You would think the Dion would use the highest kind of love (Agape) in the context of one’s

love for his or her father. Further, I would have expected the friendship kind of love (Phileo) to be used when

describing the Roman citizens’ affection toward Caesar as a benevolent

leader, since Phileo is considered the “lesser” love. But is it?

Once again, this use of synonyms caught Dr. Trench’s eye. This one sentence

is not the only time this distinction is made between these two words. There

are other writings that use Agape and Phileo as Dion used them.


After reviewing most of these uses of Agape and Phileo, Trench makes these

observations: Agape is love which is bestowed, upon reflection, on that

which is worthy of regard; there seems to be associated with Agape the idea

of choice. Additionally, this Agape love is not an unreasonable

love. In other words, one loves for this or that reason.

Phileo, Dr. Trench contends, is more instinctive. It issues forth from one’s

natural affections and passions. This is the love that is often displayed by

one's heightened emotions.

Again, with these distinctions in mind, one could make the case that Phileo

can attain heights that Agape can not. For example, you may recall in the

movie Love Story, when Ali MacGraw became very ill. Ryan O’Neal very

passionately did all he could to help her. That passion which consumed him I

would describe with Phileo, not Agape. That kind of love was extremely

intense and emotional. Agape just can not create that image. But Phileo sure

can. But it should also be noted here that in this example, Ryan also Agape

loved Ali. But the scenes that showed Ryan in that desperate, emotional

state is the picture I get when I think of Phileo in all its splendor.



If we concede that Phileo better describes this instinctive and very

passionate love, then a section in the Gospel of John will transform before

our eyes.

Let’s briefly examine the famous scene in which Christ asks Peter three times if he loves Him:


Then when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,

“Simon, son of John, do you love (Agape) me more than these do?”

He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love (Phileo) you!”

Jesus told him, “Feed my lambs.”


Jesus said a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love (Agape) me?”

He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love (Phileo) you!”

Jesus told him, “Shepherd my sheep.”

Jesus said a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love (Phileo) me?”

Peter was distressed that Jesus asked him a third time, “Do you love me?”

and said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love (Phileo) you.”



The first two times Christ questioned Peter concerning his love for Him, He

used the word Agape. But on both occasions Peter replied by saying that he

Phileo loved Him. On the third, and final, occasion Christ then asked Peter

if he indeed did Phileo love Him. These relentless questions, seemingly

insinuating something not to Peter’s liking, to some extent distressed him.

He was noticeably upset. But Peter did not give in. He never wavered in this

conversation. On the third reply, Peter again demanded that he Phileo loved

the Lord.

Here are some of Dr. Trench’s notes regarding this passionate scene:

“In that threefold “Lovest thou me?” which the risen Lord addresses to

Peter, He asks him first, Agape me? At this moment, when all the pulses in

the heart of the now penitent Apostle is beating with a passionate

affection toward his Lord, this word (Agape) on the Lord’s lips sounds too

cold to very imperfectly express the warmth of his affection toward Him.”

Trench then adds, “And now at length he has triumphed; for when his Lord

puts the question to him a third time, it is not Agape any more, but

Phileo.”



The main reason I have addressed this passage on Peter’s love is primarily

because I have not come across any commentary that seems to capture this

clearly emotional and impetuous moment of Peter as Trench has so skillfully

done. Contextually and lexically, Trench has handled this passage well. I

believe his insights warrant a closer look into this marvelous conclusion to

John’s Gospel!

We must always guard against sensationalizing any biblical passage beyond

its intent. But I feel that this encounter of Peter with the Lord was filled

with raw emotion. I just don’t see Peter replying to the Lord as if to

say, “Yes Lord, I do love you, albeit with a diminutive love.” That’s simply

not Peter. Nor does it capture the miraculous impact that a “risen” Savior

had on him (or anyone for that matter). We believe in the resurrected Lord,

but Peter saw Him! This we know: Peter was never the same.

Reread John 21. Feel the crescendo that climaxes as John opens this window

into Peter’s heart. I do not doubt for a second that Peter’s love for the

Lord never retreated.

 

[TitusTwoWife]

Great post. Thank you