I know the reality of being saved, of the reality of struggling with temptation, of the reality of sinning.
I know this on a daily bases.
It is interesting that those who God has used greatly in the past and the present all acknowledge that they are the chief of sinners.
None proclaim that they do not sin.
So how do you councel someone like me who knows the reality of being a sinner saved by grace.
Who like Paul can cry about the evil I don't want to do I do while the good I want to do I don't do.
He is Jesus the Christ. And the scriptures you are quoting have been twisted to have Paul contradicting himself. It is not your fault. That quoting scriptures out of context has been around for centuries.
1 Timothy 1:
12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting
me into the ministry, 13 although I was
formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did
it ignorantly in unbelief. 14
And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 15 This
is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.
Of all the apostles, Paul when he was called Saul actually persecuted Christians to the death. He still felt that shame, but had gratitude that Jesus made him dead to sin, as in Romans 6:2.
The other scripture is Romans 7 where Saul, before becoming Paul, was under the law of sin and death. But if you were to read further just a few verses to Romans 8:2 you would see that the law of the Spirit of life in Christ has freed me from the law of sin and death.
Therefore, don't try to be like Saul when he was a insolent sinner, but Paul who was filled with the grace of God, the power of the divine nature.
You see Windy, you want Jesus as Savior, but don't know Him as the Christ. You must know Christ to have Him as Savior.
Here is the Christ:
Daniel 9:24
To finish the transgression,
To make an end of sins,
To make reconciliation for iniquity,
To bring in everlasting righteousness,
1 John 3:5-6
5 And you know that He was manifested to
take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. 6 Whoever
abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him.
If you really want to be free of sin and being so easily tempted, read Psalms 51 over and over until it becomes your prayer. You already see yourself as a weak sinner, and that is half the battle. When you truly want to be empowered with God's grace, His power, to be able to truly live a life pleasing to God, He will give you His Holy Spirit.
2 Peter 1:
Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that
pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption
that is in the world through lust.
I pray you will also escape.