Jokes, fun and comedy

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farouk

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McCain, was not healthy enough to be seated, and Palin was not in tune enough with the lower 48 IMO.

Gets sickening, IMO, who and how “Party” candidates are selected by a handful, AS IF, whoop, whoop, here’s your choice, this person...period.
@Taken I'm a Canadian citizen; I guess I perceive that in the US the matter of discerning regional accents and emphases - as discussed, above - is related to the idea of a balanced ticket during Presidential elections.

In the United States, you strive to have a head of state who represents a regional balance.

Up here, The Queen of Canada simply is................................

If Sarah Palin had been Governor of a state in the Lower 48, maybe she might have made a different impression? (But how do I know....?)
 

Taken

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@Taken I'm a Canadian citizen; I guess I perceive that in the US the matter of discerning regional accents and emphases - as discussed, above - is related to the idea of a balanced ticket during Presidential elections.

In the United States, you strive to have a head of state who represents a regional balance.

Up here, The Queen of Canada simply is................................

If Sarah Palin had been Governor of a state in the Lower 48, maybe she might have made a different impression? (But how do I know....?)

In the lower 48 Governors are more well known, how they do things in their States, as well as neighboring Governors. Virtually no one had heard of Palin. Backroom nonsense, “we gotta have one of these, those, race, genders”...seemingly doesn’t matter best for the job, regardless of race / gender.
Female and War hero are not qualifications for a US President, or VP., neither are persons who are not Natural Born Citizens, which Obama is not, and I suspend C. Harris is not.

Isn’t the Queen of Canada Justin Trudeau ?
 

farouk

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In the lower 48 Governors are more well known, how they do things in their States, as well as neighboring Governors. Virtually no one had heard of Palin. Backroom nonsense, “we gotta have one of these, those, race, genders”...seemingly doesn’t matter best for the job, regardless of race / gender.
Female and War hero are not qualifications for a US President, or VP., neither are persons who are not Natural Born Citizens, which Obama is not, and I suspend C. Harris is not.

Isn’t the Queen of Canada Justin Trudeau ?
There is a saying that there were two brothers: one emigrated to Canada and the other became Vice President of the United States...and neither or them was heard from again.
 

Sabertooth

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The mountains aren't just funny,
they're hill areas...!
full
 

Sabertooth

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Here is a "Mom" joke that my wife likes,...

Investigating a crime scene where a woman had shot a man because he walked across the kitchen floor that she'd just spent an hour sweeping, mopping, and waxing, a police officer radioed back to the police station to make his report.

"The woman in question is the man's wife, and she freaked out on him for stepping on the floor that she'd just thoroughly cleaned. The husband is still alive, but I haven't been able to get him to the ambulance outside."

"He's still inside the house?! Have you arrested her?" asks the surprised Police Chief.

"Oh, heck, no! The floor's still wet!"
 

Sabertooth

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A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone voice he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
 

Taken

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The adverts as well…..why do Americans have to shout in your face to get you to buy things !! Lol
Rita
Years ago when I watched TV…the local commercials were typical “shout in your face”. They were “typically” small road-side businesses, competing with “umpteen” other small road-side business. The “shouting”, was usually coupled with “gimmicks”.
The businesses, were often, one after the other of a row of “tents”, or “small crummy little buildings”, or “lots”, selling cars, furniture, mattresses, appliances.
The commercials, shouting, gimmicks were all about competing against the umpteen other businesses in the same vicinity.
 

Taken

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Remember the days when this was an infraction against school rule ? Now they have to have metal detectors to search for weapons !
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Remember the days when this was an infraction against school rule ? Now they have to have metal detectors to search for weapons !
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LOL…Yep I remember, and remember that is also when I learned to write with TWO pencils in hand and write within two separate lines…lol