Jokes, fun and comedy

[Josho]

So new thread, jokes, fun and comedy, keep it clean.

 

[Heart2Soul]

So new thread, jokes, fun and comedy, keep it clean.

Funny haha!

 

[marksman]

So many jokes today are pointless like the one about the pencil.

 

[Sabertooth]

I Never Saw a U-Haul Behind a Hearse...​

A dying man gathered his pastor, doctor and attorney at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $1M in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.

A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Pastor, Doctor and Attorney, each brought their money to the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell.

With a tear in his eye, the pastor said,
"This could have taken the Word to unreached peoples, but a promise is a promise. Here is your money." And he placed the envelope in the coffin.

Also sad, the doctor said,
"This could have funded a medical outreach to many third-world countries, but yes, a promise is a promise." He, too, placed his envelope in the coffin.

Noticeably less sad, the attorney said,
"Here is your money, just as promised," placing the final envelope in the coffin.

After the service was over, the pastor and the doctor asked the attorney why he wasn't so bothered to part with the money.

"How could you so easily part with that much money, with all of the good it could have done in this life...?"

With a smile, the attorney responded, "I wrote him a check."

 

[Josho]

This poor woman she is so cluless!

We spell it m-u-m = mum in Australia.

FYI I usually call my mum, mummy, and yes I do sometimes call her mummeeee with the extra E's lolz, I also call her mumma.

 

[Nancy]

So new thread, jokes, fun and comedy, keep it clean.

Lol!

 

[Prayer Warrior]

So new thread, jokes, fun and comedy, keep it clean.

Social distancing does have its advantages!

 

[Nancy]

This poor woman she is so cluless!

Oh wow, I feel smart after watching that!! Ahaha...my guesses for the other two would be Mum or Mamie...wished they showed the answers after all of that, lol!

 

[Brakelite]

Social distancing does have its advantages!

Some old dude was arrested recently somewhere in Europe for farting. Serious.

 

[Nancy]

Some old dude was arrested recently somewhere in Europe for farting. Serious.

You gotta be kidding me! Lol. That's nuts.

 

[Nancy]

So many jokes today are pointless like the one about the pencil.

lol

 

[Josho]

Some old dude was arrested recently somewhere in Europe for farting. Serious.

Flatulence in public is against the law in Malawi.

 

[Candidus]

Flatulence in public is against the law in Malawi.

Chinese proverb: "Man who fart in Church, sit in own pew."

 

[Candidus]

 

[Candidus]

 

[Heart2Soul]

Oh wow, I feel smart after watching that!! Ahaha...my guesses for the other two would be Mum or Mamie...wished they showed the answers after all of that, lol!

I would say ma...as in ma and pa

 

[Nancy]

I would say ma...as in ma and pa

Yes, my niece thought that one...silly that we couldn't see the answers after all of that! lol.

 

[Candidus]

https://twitter.com/i/status/1274117524167299072

 

[Candidus]

https://twitter.com/i/status/1273799790350884864

 

[historyb]

A Priest, Pastor, and Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says "Is this some kind of joke"