How can i be really free of resentment in my heart Quote

I agree with the experts, whoever they are. It's wisdom to know that bitterness/resentment will destroy you. They are addictive emotions. They are dark-sided emotions.

yet, being vulnerable is necessary to love and receive love.....

jonadutch said:

How can i Know i really have forgive anyone in my life, i Want really forgive anyone who hurts me.
Bitterness and resentment can make you sick, experts warn

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Let those who offend or hurt you know about it, reprimand them. If they persist, your not obligated to forgive them. Stand up for what is right, use tough love to help them see the error of their ways. Don't take vengeance, but flee from those who want to abuse you (John 8:59). Christians aren't instructed to willfully suffer harm, pray for those who seek to hurt you, and forgive those who repent, forgive those who unknowingly hurt you or offend you in ignorance, but don't make yourself sick over trying to forgive those who don't want to be forgiven. JMO "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him." (Luke 17:3)

jonadutch said:

How can i Know i really have forgive anyone in my life, i Want really forgive anyone who hurts me.
Bitterness and resentment can make you sick, experts warn

Click to expand...

Bitterness and resentment are the result of us lying to ourselves and now allowing ourselves to feel appropriate rage. Mostly lost in any discussion of forgiveness is the fact that it's ok to cry out to God for vengeance. The parable of the woman seeking justice from an unjust judge ended with a truth about God's character that we should not ignore, that he will "speedily avenge those who cry out to him night and day." Then in Revelation we see the martyrs before the throne of God saying, "How long, O Lord, before you avenge our blood upon the inhabitants of the earth?"

And yet somehow many Christians have convinced themselves that forgiveness means having no anger, asking for no reciprocity, and wishing good things upon those who hurt us. So when the natural feelings of rage arise in us, we tell ourselves we are "harboring unforgiveness" and that it's wrong to have those feelings. Suppression of righteous indignation results in bitterness and resentment because we don't allow ourselves to feel the anger that by all rights we should.

Forgiveness is a complicated topic because sometimes it really does result in reconciliation with the offender and a resolution of all anger. But more often, an offense readily dismissed was not a deep offense to begin with. Often the closest we can get to forgiveness for egregious offenses is taking them off our hook and putting them on God's. I can tell you on a personal level that there is somebody who I will testify against before the throne of God, pleading that this person be sent to hell forever; and I know my desire will be granted. I'm not wrong to feel this way because forgiveness to me is being resolved to let God be my avenger.

So did this person kill a family member of yours? Molest you as a child? Beat you until you were hospitalized? Frame you for a crime you didn't commit? Don't ever expect to get over it because there are some crimes that shouldn't be gotten over. Instead find peace by letting God be your avenger.

Dan57 said:

Let those who offend or hurt you know about it, reprimand them. If they persist, your not obligated to forgive them. Stand up for what is right, use tough love to help them see the error of their ways. Don't take vengeance, but flee from those who want to abuse you (John 8:59). Christians aren't instructed to willfully suffer harm, pray for those who seek to hurt you, and forgive those who repent, forgive those who unknowingly hurt you or offend you in ignorance, but don't make yourself sick over trying to forgive those who don't want to be forgiven. JMO "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him." (Luke 17:3)

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This is an important lesson about forgiveness, it requires a penitent offender "and if he repent". This too is often ignored.

I can come from a transparent and personal point of view. I held in a lot of hurt and bitterness even hatred to a point for people that hurt me (family, friends, etc.) and also for people I hurt. The Lord began to reveal to me that the root of the issues was that I hated and despised myself and thus what characteristics of myself I saw in other people I began to despise because they were in me. Jesus had to work in me by showing me myself and revealing that I have hurt Him and other people but He has forgiven me and forgives me and why should I hold on to that hurt when I can have His peace? And then God revealed that pride was also a stronghold in it because who am I to think so highly of myself to take offense by things someone says or does to me? Did not Christ take the low and humble rout even though He had every right to take offense? It did not take a short season but a while before the law of love began to work in me. Love is the centrality of the gospel and one of the most difficult things to do for it is a choice and after a while the Holy Spirit will soften your heart and your feelings will match that choice!
"Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:5)