Is Marriage Worth It?

TitusTwoWife said:

Married last November, right? God bless you

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This February, actually.

I was married before, that was a truly toxic relationship. This marriage is nothing like my last one.

TitusTwoWife said:

I have yet to see a truly egalitarian relationship. If the man is not in charge, the woman usually is.

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I've seen marriages between two type-A personalities. Some of them worked. Some of them crashed and burned in a constant battle for control.

The stories about marriage I get from the Medium newsfeed portray traditional marriage as favoring the man, not the woman. In a traditional marriage, the man gets a domestic servant to do the cooking, cleaning, and childcare, and oh, a sex worker. The woman gets ... what? Protection? Part of the man's paycheck? Is it worth it for the woman? Back in the 60s and 70s, women started saying, "No, it isn't worth it".

In one of St. SteVen's threads (on divorce), I noted that of Christianity Board's primary female voices, I could only think of three that identify themselves as happily married. (@TitusTwoWife, you're one of them.) Quite a few are divorced and not looking to remarry; several have been single all their lives and are satisfied with their situation; I've heard from one who is in a bad (or at least unsatisfactory) marriage, a few have said they are single and still looking, and one was sadly recently widowed.

I also notice that all the respondents to this thread have been male. Where are the women?

Lambano said:

Is it worth it for the woman? Back in the 60s and 70s, women started saying, "No, it isn't worth it".

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It's more accurate to say that women back then were promised the grass is greener in a different pasture where she "can have it all," in the man's world of business, that she is a slave to work for her children and husband who love her but is not a slave to work for a boss who doesn't care about her.

Wynona said:

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Above is a debate on whether marriage is worth it in modern times by Andrew Wilson and Coach Greg Adam's.

Men have been reporting that marriage is no longer worth getting into because of the perverse incentive for women to divorce from the legal system, and the modern cultural values that push women to simply leave if unhappy.

The three hour time is a lot but it's really interesting.

If you don't watch it, you can still comment on marriage and whether its worth it or not.

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Marriage is the norm for men and women designed by God. Marriage is wonderful when we do it Gods way as spelled out in scripture. The problem lies is that when one or both of the spouses start looking for their own needs, things can and do break down.

TitusTwoWife said:

"A stronger foundation is built when a wife shifts her focus away from what she can extract from marriage and toward what she can faithfully bring into it. That shift changes everything. It softens her spirit. It steadies her emotions. It teaches her to stop keeping score. It frees her from the exhausting habit of watching her husband to see whether he is measuring up, and instead leads her into the much more fruitful question: how can I support him well, serve him faithfully, and help build a home where he feels respected, strengthened, and at peace?

This is not weakness. It is not passivity. It is not the erasure of womanhood. It is the beginning of maturity."

From How To Be a Submissive Wife on Substack

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Many say marriage is a fifty/fifty covenant. It is not! It is a 100/100 covenant. A husband can truly be free to love his wife as christ loves the church when he knows she is busy respecting him and loving him in return. It does not excuse us from our obligation in marriage if our partner abdicates their responsigbility, but when both partners are more concerned about the other, marriage is a source of enormous joy.

Marriages are God's plan to complete each other. Actually, opposites attract is where that comes from. Each person completes the other. I'm good at making money, my wife is good at spending it. The beauty is togetherness on vacations and share in experiences that enhance the memories for life and know how to take care of each other in sickness. Christ is the center of a good marriage to work out to God's plan.
Marriage is a mystery to mankind and the Apostle Paul cannot explain it.
Ephesians 5:31-32 - For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

The beauty of God's plan, that I saw, is that when you get old. You are together and are grateful of the years together. That is hard to see when growing together through the years, but the payoff is great in health and well being. Married couples live longer than single people.

WOW! WOW! One of the best and honest and courageous discussions I have ever seen on this form. I am impressed. God bless you all.
This is a deep topic. But to answer the question; Is marriage worth it? YES!

But for something that is so important, people are generally not prepared for it and enter the marriage with incorrect preconceived notions.
It is like sending brain surgeons with no education into the operating rooms with first aid kits.

This is something that every Church should discuss and teach.

• The importance of marriage.
• How to pick a spouse.
• How to date.
• The importance of God in your marriage.
• The importance of Church and Christian community in your marriage.
• The construct of relationships.
• The importance of intimacy in marriage.
• The importance of communication in a marriage…..
• The importance of children in your marriage.
• What to expect.

Why is marriage important and worth it.

• It is important to God.
• For individuals, it completes and fulfills a person.
• Living in love is a wonderful experience.
• Raising children is a wonderful and fulfilling experience. And marriage, the unit is important to the lives of children.
• The family unit in youth, in middle age, and old age is wonderful.
• Without families Christianity would not be the same.
• Without families society would become unstable.

But there are somethings that people need to know. Some one here said that 50% marriages fail. It is actually closer to 70% of marriages fail and that does not count the people that do not get divorced but are unhappy.

This is mainly because people do not consider what I stated above. Take a survey on your own, how many people do you know have had a divorce. Each divorce counts as a failed marriage. They remarry but the things that caused their last marriage(s) to fail will follow them and it is generally not the other person’s fault.

Some people say that it is normal to fall out of love in a marriage. If you believe that, you have cursed your own marriage and the clock is ticking until divorce occurs.

A Church wedding with friends and family is important.
Understanding the vows are important.

Going to Church and Church activities are important for the couple and the children. Keeping God in the family is vital.

Love and intimacy and communication and all that goes with it. The desire to be close, to touch, to see, recreational activities. Play, eat, talk, and touch....and pray together. To talk with, to share thoughts and feelings. (Female communications is something men need to understand. The chit chat for females is foreplay.) When your wife stops sitting in your lap….it is a warning sign. When you sit....the need and desire to sit next to each other. Closeness and the desire to touch is important.

Marriage is not all about sex, but a brick building without mortar will not stand. Love and all its aspects is the mortar that holds it together. You depend on it, your marriage depends on it and your children depend on it. Kiss her butt every night and her feet every morning.

But know the odds are stacked against your marriage so it is important to know what it takes to keep it together. And God and love is the biggest part of that equation.

Wynona said:

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

Above is a debate on whether marriage is worth it in modern times by Andrew Wilson and Coach Greg Adam's.

Men have been reporting that marriage is no longer worth getting into because of the perverse incentive for women to divorce from the legal system, and the modern cultural values that push women to simply leave if unhappy.

The three hour time is a lot but it's really interesting.

If you don't watch it, you can still comment on marriage and whether its worth it or not.

Click to expand...

God made "roles" for men and women. Only the rebellious don't acknowledge His wisdom in those roles. It's what works best. It's for our own good. Instead many women view it as bossiness or chauvinist - and people don't want to be told what to do.
Nope- it's what's best for us.
I liken it to telling your child not to touch the hot stove - but he thinks you're taking something away from him, so he touches it and gets burned. He doesn't know that you are wiser, and want what's best for him. He just wanted what he wanted.. It's called foolishness.

Pop culture has turned traditional roles into something to be looked down upon. So now we have women/ career first just like a man and no body wants to be home to properly raise little johnny. They would rather pay a daycare.. The biggest house is bought and the trappings of the world won out over love where true riches are found. It wasn't meant to be this way and the marriages and the kids suffer.

it's pretty simple really. Men- love your wives like Christ loves the church-
Women- love and respect your husband as head of the house- raise your children in the Lord- keep the home a place for your husband to want to come home to.
Love one another. Do unto others..
If we would just follow what God said- there would be no divorces.

Been married 37 years -Can't imagine life without him. My best friend on earth.

Grailhunter said:

WOW! WOW! One of the best and honest and courageous discussions I have ever seen on this form. I am impressed. God bless you all.
This is a deep topic. But to answer the question; Is marriage worth it? YES!

But for something that is so important, people are generally not prepared for it and enter the marriage with incorrect preconceived notions.
It is like sending brain surgeons with no education into the operating rooms with first aid kits.

This is something that every Church should discuss and teach.

• The importance of marriage.
• How to pick a spouse.
• How to date.
• The importance of God in your marriage.
• The importance of Church and Christian community in your marriage.
• The construct of relationships.
• The importance of intimacy in marriage.
• The importance of communication in a marriage…..
• The importance of children in your marriage.
• What to expect.

Why is marriage important and worth it.

• It is important to God.
• For individuals, it completes and fulfills a person.
• Living in love is a wonderful experience.
• Raising children is a wonderful and fulfilling experience. And marriage, the unit is important to the lives of children.
• The family unit in youth, in middle age, and old age is wonderful.
• Without families Christianity would not be the same.
• Without families society would become unstable.

But there are somethings that people need to know. Some one here said that 50% marriages fail. It is actually closer to 70% of marriages fail and that does not count the people that do not get divorced but are unhappy.

This is mainly because people do not consider what I stated above. Take a survey on your own, how many people do you know have had a divorce. Each divorce counts as a failed marriage. They remarry but the things that caused their last marriage(s) to fail will follow them and it is generally not the other person’s fault.

Some people say that it is normal to fall out of love in a marriage. If you believe that, you have cursed your own marriage and the clock is ticking until divorce occurs.

A Church wedding with friends and family is important.
Understanding the vows are important.

Going to Church and Church activities are important for the couple and the children. Keeping God in the family is vital.

Love and intimacy and communication and all that goes with it. The desire to be close, to touch, to see, recreational activities. Play, eat, talk, and touch....and pray together. To talk with, to share thoughts and feelings. (Female communications is something men need to understand. The chit chat for females is foreplay.) When your wife stops sitting in your lap….it is a warning sign. When you sit....the need and desire to sit next to each other. Closeness and the desire to touch is important.

Marriage is not all about sex, but a brick building without mortar will not stand. Love and all its aspects is the mortar that holds it together. You depend on it, your marriage depends on it and your children depend on it. Kiss her butt every night and her feet every morning.

But know the odds are stacked against your marriage so it is important to know what it takes to keep it together. And God and love is the biggest part of that equation.

Click to expand...

You know the devil is against marriage, because it is declared from the book of Genesis, to be ordained of God. Notice income taxes put a penalty on marriages too. So the devil attacks the marriage institution from all sides.

Rockerduck said:

You know the devil is against marriage, because it is declared from the book of Genesis, to be ordained of God. Notice income taxes put a penalty on marriages too. So the devil attacks the marriage institution from all sides.

Click to expand...

You are right.
Married couples when they both work can raise the household income to a point that they fall in a higher tax bracket. Not so much for single income families.
The whole household tax is wrong, it is more or less a scam.

"Is Marriage Worth It?"

It sure is if your spouse is your best friend!