Having Grace with ourselves?

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Ernie

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I hear this often, especially when listening to those trying to help others like myself with there mental health. I would love to think that is accurate, and that God would like us to have grace with ourselves when we struggle, even with sin...I find myself concerned the Lord gets upset at myself, however in the back of my mind I am hoping for his mercy. To me having Grace on ourselves could become a copout so to speak, but would also be a relief to realize we can. What do you think?
 

Lambano

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I'll start with saying, make sure you offer the same grace to others that you would offer to yourself (and that you hope God will offer to you).

(I'll probably get accused of promoting licentiousness with that remark.)
 
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quietthinker

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I hear this often, especially when listening to those trying to help others like myself with there mental health. I would love to think that is accurate, and that God would like us to have grace with ourselves when we struggle, even with sin...I find myself concerned the Lord gets upset at myself, however in the back of my mind I am hoping for his mercy. To me having Grace on ourselves could become a copout so to speak, but would also be a relief to realize we can. What do you think?
We can only be graceful to others as we have become aware in our experience of the extent of grace towards us.
 
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Lambano

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Having Grace with ourselves?​

Normally, I would agree with Wesley on this. Ernie, in your case, I don't think I do.

quote-we-should-be-rigorous-in-judging-ourselves-and-gracious-in-judging-others-john-wesley-48-49-05.jpg
 

MatthewG

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I don’t understand why people say something that is like out of line then say hopefully the Lord forgives me…

Talk about just being authentic. You meant what you said yet you want God to forgive you for saying it?

Makes no sense to me. If anything you should want to apologize to the person you just downed right?

Or at least get your mind in agreement with the spirit of Christ just not down someone instead.

Not just cry forgive me… He done did that at the cross with Jesus giving up his life for you… and raising him up again.

Here is something else interesting:

It’s not vain to think good of yourself. Scripture actually assumes a healthy, grounded self‑regard. The problem is when self‑regard turns into superiority.

Short answer:
It becomes vain when thinking well of yourself leads you to look down on others, exalt yourself, or treat people as lesser.

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What Scripture Shows

• Healthy self‑regard is normal.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)
Jesus assumes you already have a basic sense of worth.
• Pride enters when comparison enters.
“For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Galatians 6:3)

The Pharisee’s mistake wasn’t confidence — it was comparison

Jesus’ parable in Luke 18 shows this clearly:

• The Pharisee thanked God, but his prayer was built on comparing himself to others.
• The tax collector, meanwhile, was humble and honest about his need.


The issue wasn’t that the Pharisee thought he was doing well. The issue was that he used his “goodness” as a platform to elevate himself above others.

That’s the heart of vanity.

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So what’s the difference?

1. Healthy self‑respect

This is when you:

• Recognize your worth
• Acknowledge your strengths
• Thank God for what He’s doing in you
• Don’t pretend to be less than you are


This is not vanity. It’s actually necessary for spiritual and emotional health.

2. Prideful self‑exaltation

This is when you:

• Think your value is higher than someone else’s
• Use your strengths to judge others
• Believe you’re “better” instead of simply “blessed”
• Need others to be “less” so you can feel “more”


This is where vanity lives.
 
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