Clean Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Mancunian
- Start date
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home.
Chuck Norris doesnt do push ups he pushes the earth down
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun
Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding
Chuck Norris doesnt do push ups he pushes the earth down
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun
Chuck Norris is the reason waldo is hiding
Well, @Riven take care of yourself and don't take your brain out for anybody....
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's green and goes up and down?
A frog in a lift.
What time is it when there's a pie on Wigan's clock tower?
Summat to eight.
I'm going to the dentist.
I've got an appointment at 2.30
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's green and goes up and down?
A frog in a lift.
What time is it when there's a pie on Wigan's clock tower?
Summat to eight.
I'm going to the dentist.
I've got an appointment at 2.30
Stumpmaster
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I just found out I’m dating a Communist. Guess I should’ve noticed the red flags earlier.
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
Stumpmaster
Well-Known Member
- Apr 5, 2009
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- Faith
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Young man gets invited to join a Joke Club by a friend. There's a good turnout at the first meeting he attends. He soon learns that to save time all jokes are submitted in advance and numbered. Everyone gets a copy of the list at the start of the meeting. It is explained to new member that a joke is told by calling out a number from the list.Yeah, that's what she said.
Very soon the venue is filled with laughter as one by one Joke Club members take turns calling out joke numbers.
The first number called was 17. Chuckles and belly laughs.
Then 28. Mirth and giggles.
Numbers followed thick and fast, each one followed by more and more laughter.
Finally new member plucks up courage and calls out 11. Dead silence. Awkward.
The meeting moves on with a few more numbers called, all followed by laughs, and then closes.
New member, very puzzled, asks his friend, "What was wrong with my joke number 11? Why didn't it get a laugh?"
The friend replied, "Sorry your joke didn't get a laugh, . . . but it was the way you told it".
Two flies are sitting on a dog turd, one of them belched, the other said "That's disgusting, can't you see that I'm eating?'
What's the best thing about teamwork? Someone else to blame.
Why do I drink coffee? I like to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
Now the following ones made me LOL...
To make an error is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
Lately, coworkers have been writing names on the food in the office fridge. I'm currently eating a sandwich named Kevin.
People always say that hard work never killed anybody. But really, have you ever heard of anybody resting themselves to death?
Why do I drink coffee? I like to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
Now the following ones made me LOL...
To make an error is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
Lately, coworkers have been writing names on the food in the office fridge. I'm currently eating a sandwich named Kevin.
People always say that hard work never killed anybody. But really, have you ever heard of anybody resting themselves to death?
A husband conceded to his wife's nagging demand to clean his house and so he cleaned his house and after a few months he noted that he had then begun experiencing a newfound level of peace and quiet, with no nagging.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink here, anyway?" The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
