Clean Jokes Thread

[Mancunian]

I met the inventor of shelves....

What a ledge.

 

[Mancunian]

My electrician is hopeless, he wired my house incorrectly.

Shocking!

 

[Mancunian]

I met the South Korean table tennis champion recently.

His name?

Du Sum Ping.

 

[Matthias]

 

[Mancunian]

View attachment 90223

What are your thoughts on Monty Python's The Life Of Brian?

 

[Matthias]

What are your thoughts on Monty Python's The Life Of Brian?

Not suitable for mature audiences.

 

[Mancunian]

Not suitable for mature audiences.

Yeah, I don't like it either.

 

[Mancunian]

Two vicar's are driving along a country lane when suddenly a vampire jumps out in front of their vehicle....
One says to the other "Show him your cross" so the other vicar winds down his window and shouts "I'm very angry with you!"

 

[Mancunian]

Pelicans penguins and the tax man can all stick their bills up their backsides.

 

[Mancunian]

I asked my wife to go into town to get me something for my bad breath.

She came back with some garlic and 20 cigarettes.

 

[Mancunian]

I wondered why the baseball was getting closer, and then it hit me.