2 Christian couples living under the same roof....

[layhoma]

Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

 

[Angelina]

None at all...but why not pray for a healing? :unsure: God can and does heal you know??? :huh: Better still, why not just marry her. I am sure that you would not care being called a widower if you married the only person in the world that you actually care about...even if it were only for a moment in time...

IMHO Marry her and pray for a healing [get others to pray also]

Bless you!

 

[Selene]

I agree with Angelina. Since you have already made the decision to live together (despite that there is no sex), you can enjoy a married life together and pray together for healing. Marriage is a beautiful thing in which two souls share and become one body.

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

Am I the only one left to say that shacking up is wrong no matter what the situation? And I think the reason for not getting married is just absurd. I think there is a danger of becoming like the Pharisees, looking for legal loopholes instead of being obedient to God, such as when they found a way for a son not to honor his parents. Unless these hypothetical people marry, there is no justification for co-habituating.

 

[aspen]

get married

 

[biggandyy]

The admonitions in the Bible are there for a reason. Even if nothing ever happens remember the lessons from Proverbs 7:


6 At the window of my house
I looked down through the lattice.
7 I saw among the simple,
I noticed among the young men,
a youth who had no sense.
8 He was going down the street near her corner,
walking along in the direction of her house
9 at twilight, as the day was fading,
as the dark of night set in.

While I am not accusing anyone of adultery, the larger picture of this quote is the young man is tempting his inner passions by walking down the road towards temptation in the first place! It is always best to avoid the situation completely rather than strenuously exercise good judgement in the face of self imposed peril and then claim how pious and faithful you were.

 

[marksman]

You might like to consider that when God created a helpmeet for Adam, he went on to say that a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

First, a man leaves his mother and father. Second he cleaves to his wife and that is important as I feel that excludes all other situations, and third, they shall become one flesh which means not remain celibate.

I can't see your situation complying with this instruction from God so that should tell you whether it is right or not.

To comply with his word, you leave mum and dad to get married to live with your wife so that you can become one flesh. You leave everything else up to God. By his grace you might still be married in 20 years time and have little ankle biters around you.

 

[JB_Reformed Baptist]

It sounds like it went from pure theoretical to actually taking place. So, what's it? You do understand that any sexual contact with the woman or desire is considered either sexually immoral or fornication, right. I say this because some think that it's ok. Well it's not!

Putting aside your current circumstance with the young woman, it has to be considered as how that will be received by those who may stumble at what you're proposing. This of course is strictly forbidden. As it's been adequately said above by so many, you really know what you both should be doing. The Lord has commandments and they're to be obeyed.

Situation ethics won't pass muster.

Remember, the JUST shall live by FAITH. i.e the Word of God. :mellow:

 

[aspen]

um remember kids read this - pms might be a better choice

 

[KingJ]

Hi layhoma

Sorry to hear about her disease. We will be praying for her here!

I propose you get married immediately by your pastor with only both sides parents present to witness and approve.

Even if she had a week left, living together outside of marriage is a sin. Saying you will be with her in her apartment everyday and not sin is madness. Then you are not human, rather some alien with no feeling.

Get married, take her to hospital and don't stop praying for healing!!

 

[layhoma]

Thank you everyone for sharing your point of view in your Christian walks of life. Again, this is a hypothetical situation I made up. Please do not pray for the fictitious characters portrayed in here. This post wasn't meant to be deceptive because I have clearly stated in the beginning. Instead of me asking what would Jesus do I ask the public what would they do.

As I have gathered stats from this and the other forum I posted on a different site, the majority would say "Get Married" and I can see the merits in this hypothetical case. Just for argumentative purpose, let's say the girl with the disease knew that getting married with her boyfriend would make their union complete, as two flesh becomes one, so do their spirits. When a spouse dies, a part of the one living dies along. The grief from such union would exponentially increase. In such unfathomable grief, not everyone is strong enough to live through it even with constant consolation of the Holy Spirit. If such action proceeds, the widower may recover in 2 years, 10 years or even maybe 20. Some may fall so deep into a depression and withdrawn from reality, they would never make it for another marriage. Though people make vows in churches "till death do we part", many couldn't deal with the lost , the part of parting and lived a very miserable life thereafter.

My point being, the girl refused to get married because she doesn't want the other half to suffer more than he should.

 

[This Vale Of Tears]

Thank you everyone for sharing your point of view in your Christian walks of life. Again, this is a hypothetical situation I made up. Please do not pray for the fictitious characters portrayed in here. This post wasn't meant to be deceptive because I have clearly stated in the beginning. Instead of me asking what would Jesus do I ask the public what would they do.

As I have gathered stats from this and the other forum I posted on a different site, the majority would say "Get Married" and I can see the merits in this hypothetical case. Just for argumentative purpose, let's say the girl with the disease knew that getting married with her boyfriend would make their union complete, as two flesh becomes one, so do their spirits. When a spouse dies, a part of the one living dies along. The grief from such union would exponentially increase. In such unfathomable grief, not everyone is strong enough to live through it even with constant consolation of the Holy Spirit. If such action proceeds, the widower may recover in 2 years, 10 years or even maybe 20. Some may fall so deep into a depression and withdrawn from reality, they would never make it for another marriage. Though people make vows in churches "till death do we part", many couldn't deal with the lost , the part of parting and lived a very miserable life thereafter.

My point being, the girl refused to get married because she doesn't want the other half to suffer more than he should.

I think it's rather short sighted to focus on the quantity of grief. Great grief correlates from great love. And great love is worth experiencing even if it ends in great grief.

 

[KingJ]

Thank you everyone for sharing your point of view in your Christian walks of life. Again, this is a hypothetical situation I made up.

:huh: Rofl, I missed the first line of your OP.

My point being, the girl refused to get married because she doesn't want the other half to suffer more than he should.

You are missing the point of marriage. Would you say Adam and Eve needed to be married? Marriage is a public declaration to others before God, similar to being baptised in water. Marriage does not suddenly change feelings for each other or create soul ties. It is merely a respectful thing to do as good Christians should take their ambassadorial duties seriously. Avoiding all appearance of evil. Appearance of fornication being the clear evil. A Christian will be faithful / have true love before and after marriage.

The simple math is this: Fornication before marriage = love for yourself > love for your partner > love for God. Marriage first despite the circumstances!!!!!! = Love and respect for God > all.

 

[Selene]

My point being, the girl refused to get married because she doesn't want the other half to suffer more than he should.

Is there a reason you would think that he would suffer less being single?

 

[KingJ]

Is there a reason you would think that he would suffer less being single?

Definitely! No intimacy with the love of his life when she only has a year to live = suffering plus stupidity.

 

[layhoma]

I think it's rather short sighted to focus on the quantity of grief. Great grief correlates from great love. And great love is worth experiencing even if it ends in great grief.

Well said and I agree. Perhaps Jesus would be the ultimate example in your assertion. But how many of us can actually 100 % walk by the Spirit when we are in this tent (flesh) ?

Is there a reason you would think that he would suffer less being single?

Well there is one important one. Soul and Spirit ties in a marriage. Nope not just the formality of signing a paper or exchanging vows.

A soul-tie and or Sprit-tie is a real bond that holds is in an enduring relationship with another person

(Acts 4:32 NIV) All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.
(Phil 2:2 KJV) Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
(Phil 2:20 KJV) For I have no man like-minded, who will naturally care for your state.
I have but a crude metaphor. Imagine you lost a limb. There is a donor who is happy to offer you his arm. You underwent surgery and in a few weeks you have a new arm. Then the donor sues you to have his arm back and you lost the court case. You must sever the new arm. Now think of this metaphor in a spiritual way. How would you feel ?
Do you know why Jesus said the words "Abba....why have you forsaken me " before he drew his last breath on the cross? Is because Jesus has burdened the sin of the whole world and at that moment even God turned his face away from His Son.
Well this is just my opinion.

:huh: Rofl, I missed the first line of your OP.


You are missing the point of marriage. Would you say Adam and Eve needed to be married? Marriage is a public declaration to others before God, similar to being baptised in water. Marriage does not suddenly change feelings for each other or create soul ties. It is merely a respectful thing to do as good Christians should take their ambassadorial duties seriously. Avoiding all appearance of evil. Appearance of fornication being the clear evil. A Christian will be faithful / have true love before and after marriage.

The simple math is this: Fornication before marriage = love for yourself > love for your partner > love for God. Marriage first despite the circumstances!!!!!! = Love and respect for God > all.

Thanks for sharing. I agree everything you say but I must agree to disagree with the part about not creating soul ties in a marriage. As I have made a few comments above perhaps you would want to read.

 

[Angelina]

Hypothetically, I would move on and find someone else. She is not doing you any favors if you are living together. If she loved you, she would let you go or marry you. She would hypothetically trust in God regarding a healing and marry you trusting in God for the best outcome. :huh: JMHO

 

[KingJ]

Thanks for sharing. I agree everything you say but I must agree to disagree with the part about not creating soul ties in a marriage. As I have made a few comments above perhaps you would want to read.

I can only agree that when we have mutual love and respect for God it enables our love and dedication to each other to sink to a depth that no carnal relationship can be at. Our relationship with God is very special and at the depth of our hearts desire, our spouse enters that special place.

 

[Selene]

Thank you everyone for sharing your point of view in your Christian walks of life. Again, this is a hypothetical situation I made up. Please do not pray for the fictitious characters portrayed in here. This post wasn't meant to be deceptive because I have clearly stated in the beginning. Instead of me asking what would Jesus do I ask the public what would they do.

As I have gathered stats from this and the other forum I posted on a different site, the majority would say "Get Married" and I can see the merits in this hypothetical case. Just for argumentative purpose, let's say the girl with the disease knew that getting married with her boyfriend would make their union complete, as two flesh becomes one, so do their spirits. When a spouse dies, a part of the one living dies along. The grief from such union would exponentially increase. In such unfathomable grief, not everyone is strong enough to live through it even with constant consolation of the Holy Spirit. If such action proceeds, the widower may recover in 2 years, 10 years or even maybe 20. Some may fall so deep into a depression and withdrawn from reality, they would never make it for another marriage. Though people make vows in churches "till death do we part", many couldn't deal with the lost , the part of parting and lived a very miserable life thereafter.

My point being, the girl refused to get married because she doesn't want the other half to suffer more than he should.

When a person hurts, it is because they have true love. Love usually hurts. Christ loved us so much that He came down to become one with us. He became truly one with us when He took on a human body and soul, knowing that He would experience death in that body. But death did not stop His love for us because love is stronger than death. In marriage, the spouses give their bodies as a gift to the other. They no longer belong to themselves, but to their spouses. In the same way, Christ gave Himself to us. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son.

In your hypothetical story, you say that this girl does not want to be one with the boyfriend in body through marriage. Yet, on the other hand, it appears that she also does not want to be one with him in spirit or soul. This makes me wonder if she actually loves him. The incarnation of Christ shows Christ's love for us was so great that He came down to be one with us in our humanity - body and soul, and Christ wants us to share in His divine nature (See 2 Peter 1:4).

In Christianity, death is not the end. Death has already been conquered by Christ, so why would she fear the grief of her boyfriend? As Christians, both couples should be aware that they will meet again in Heaven so Death is not good-bye. Even if one spouse passes away, the other spouse has the consolation of the Holy Spirit, and that is really all he needs. In marriage, both man and woman is supposed to love God more than their spouse. God should always come first, not a husband or a wife.

You say that the girl refuse to marry the man because she fears that he will suffer more when they are married. It sounds to me like she believes her boyfriend worships and loves her more than God, which is the reason why she feels that even the consolation of the Holy Spirit is not good enough. Also, a woman who does not want to give herself - body and soul - is a person who does not know love.

 

[Brother Brian]

sorry to burst any bubbles here , but the biblicaly speaking two becoming one is the consummation ( sex/ making love)then the marriage is sealed.

layhoma
marriage certificates only came into play when populations in towns became so large they required a register.
so if you are both committed Christians and have declared your love and Christ is at the centre of everything you do commit yourselfs in an oath to Christ become one and let Christ himself declare you married
I wish the was more commitment preached rather than this married before sex.
who do you think blessed adam and eve?
now for the backlash
your brother in Christ brian



if you meet me and forget me you have lost nothing
if you meet Christ and forget him you have lost everything