Adultery and Divorce

[Scott Downey]

Why divorce? The Bible doesn't allow for remarriage unless the spouse has died.

Scripture allows separation, but remariage is a consistent no unless the spouse has died is true and comes from Christ.

1 Corinthians 7
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

 

[Scott Downey]

At church, I knew of an older woman who was married young, the marriage did not work out, and he left her.
In her 60's she remarried and told me she did not know for sure if her former husband was dead or not, but she believed in her mind, he was dead, no one was able to contact him to see if he was still alive. He disappeared and had no contact with his side of the family for decades.

 

[Wrangler]

Scripture allows separation, but remariage is a consistent no

Profound ignorance of Scripture. As divorce and remarriage was a consistent yes.

The Pharisees asked Jesus, "Why did Moses say a man could write out divorce papers and send his wife away?"

Jesus replied, "You are so heartless! That's why Moses allowed you to divorce your wife. But from the beginning God did not intend it to be that way.
Matthew 19:7-8

The NSRV Cultural Bible Study Note states:

"Ancient scribes (or teachers of the law) sometimes recognized that some of Moses laws were concessions to human weakness. Civil laws by their nature represent not God's ideals but merely limits on human sin."​

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The cross reference is to Deutoronomy 24:1-4. V 1-2 are particularly edifying. “Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. 2 When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man.​

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There is an extensive NSRV Cultural Bible Study Note regarding these verses. "The husband cuts the hem of his wife's clothing, thus separating them and making it possible for them to remarry. A husband could divorce his wife ... because he wanted to end a marriage and start a new one ... If the wife does not bear children within 7 years, a second wife may be taken."​

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It is sad that so-called Christ followers - living in the Age of Grace - are less grace-filled then even the giver of the law! Christianity is not a rigid set of rules. Yes, Jesus reminds us of the ideal, but the actual practice of living is never ideal. And we, being loving and grace-filled are bound to allow for people's weakness in sin, in not being able to live up to the ideal.

Having lived through it myself, I am disgusted at people's condemnation, head tilting as they ask 'did you try counseling' and looking at me like I did something wrong or it is my fault. I tried too hard to make my 1st marriage work. Way too hard. And it nearly killed me. Fortunately, I have mental agility and was able to adjust my survival strategies. Praise God!

 

[Wrangler]

And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

I don't know what translation you are citing but most say should. A husband SHOULD not divorce his wife. This is not the same thing as SHALL NOT.

 

[Jim B]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

You don't need to ask God whether it is appropriate for you to divorce someone who is so trapped by extreme sin. He is clearly harming you (and your children?) by his chronic cheating.

 

[Jack]

What law? The laws of 1st century Palestine do not apply to 21st century America.

The reason to divorce is not primarily to remarry. How did the women at the well have 5 husbands and was living with a man who was not her husband? Do you suppose they all died?

What else would it be?

My wife and I are both on our 2nd marriage. Her 1st husband was a frequent adulterer. My 1st wife was a frequent abandoner. I divorced her in recognition of the fact that the marriage was already dead. She had no desire or capacity to commit. She once asked me why keep a commitment if you don't feel like it? I angrily told her a commitment means doing what you committed to EVEN WHEN you don't feel like it. I was having severe health issues and was confident I was going to die if I did not make this change, jettison the biggest source of stress in my life. And no, she did not pause her abandonment during that time but doubled down on it.

I know foolish men who say we should "love" our wife like Christ loved the church, that is sacrifice our lives. No thank you. If that's what the expectation is, condemn me for not being 'marriage material.' I can live with such condemnation but sacrificing my life to a fool - or foolish ideas - is no kind of life.

My wife and I wanted a marital relationship, which is why we got married and remarried. We found ourselves with a spouse unable or unwilling to function in that role.

Regarding what the Bible allows, again the laws of 1st century Palestine do not apply to 21st century America. If I and @PerfectlyImperfect do not follow the Bible to your satisfaction, forgive us.

It doesn't sound like you believe God's promises.

 

[Wrangler]

What else would it be?

Divorce. Widows don't have a bad reputation for being a widow. Divorced people have bad reputations for being divorced.

It doesn't sound like you believe God's promises.

Forgive me. God said to knock, ask, seek - not sit around and wait on his promises.

 

[Naomanos]

Why not just separate?

In Florida there is no such things as a legal separation. In other words it doesn't recognize that people are separated and still keeps them married. There is no legal protection for either spouse. This includes financial protection.

So one spouse can run up huge bills on credit cards, etc and the other spouse is on the hook for it.

I simplified it, but there is more than what I stated above. At lease with a divorce, it protects both people.

I say this without knowing what state the OP lives in. I am just giving a reason why Divorce is really the better option, especially in states where they don't recognize a legal separation.

 

[strepho]

I'm not judging anyone. Adultery is serious sin. Christian people are not to fellowship with Reprobates

1 Corinthians chapter 6;9. Know ye not that the unrighteousness shall not inherit kingdom of God? Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolatry, nor adulterers, nor Effeminate, nor abusers of mankind.

Habitual sinners are reprobates. They wont repent and conform to God's standard.

Read 1 John chapter 3:6
3:7
3:8
3:9
3:10

Christian people are sinners, but they repent and try not to sin. No one has license to sin.

Habitual sinners are Reprobates. They follow satan.

You can't serve two masters at the same time.

Romans chapter 6:7. For he that is dead is free from sin
6:8. Now if we be dead with christ, we believe that we also live with Him
6:12. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts there of
6:13. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin;
6:14. For sin shall not have dominion over you; for you are not under the law, but grace.
Cross reference 1 Timothy 1:9.

Narcissist will never accept responsibility, and never admit to wrong doings. Again, we're talking about reprobates.

Those who are habitual sinners follow satan.
Christian people who repent and try not to sin, follow Jesus.

Romans 6:20. For when ye were the servant of sin, ye were free from righteousness.
6:21. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed?
6:22. But now being made free from sin, and become servants of God, Ye have your fruits unto holiness, and the end of everlasting life.

It should be repugnant what the wicked do. Right and wrong means nothing to them. The righteous try to please God, not offend Him.

2 Corinthians 6;14. 6:15. What concord hath christ with Belial?

There's no agreement between Christian people and reprobates. Separate your self from them. You don't want to be par takers of thier sins. You don't want reprobates dragging you down with them.

Divorce is painful. We as Christian people Repent sins to God and move on.

Those who are servants of sin, get away from them.

Documentation on divorce, applies to both genders, Matthew 19:8-9
Matthew 5:32
Ephesians 5:33
Jeremiah chapter 3:8. Adultery is grounds for divorce.
I hope this helps you.

 

[Rockerduck]

Unequally yoked is grounds.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 - Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

1 Corinthians 7:15 - But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

 

[Behold]

Christian people are sinners,

Christians are not sinners.
Unbelievers are sinners who will "die in your sins" Jesus said.

Christians are born again, as "the righteousness of God in Christ" and there is no sin found in Christ.

And regarding divorce and remarriage.

The born again, are not under the Law, at all, = but "under Grace", and Grace will never see anything but "made righteous" regarding the born again..

Now what i've observed, is that when a person is not born again, but they are very religious, or they are born again, but very Legalistic, and do not understand the Cross, the Blood Atonement, or Salvation.. then they find a Pet-peeve, "sin" and they obsess on it, as it feels good to them to finger point and lay blame and condemn others...

So, THAT is the THE worst CARNALITY of all, its much worse then an act of fornication, for example... as that FINGER Pointing person who is trying to judge everyone by Old Testament Law, is the one with the "heart" problem, and they need to repent of their FINGER Pointing, and go directly to the Cross and get that resolved.