Adultery and Divorce

[Scott Downey]

There is no remarriage authorization while the spouse still lives after they separate.
For reason of peace, let them separate, but then they also are not to marry again, Paul says let them if possible be reconciled.

1 Corinthians 7 is very clear on the idea.

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.
==========================
This part is often used to justify remarriage while the former spouse lives, but that is out of context.
----------------------------------------------
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
----------------------------------------
You are NOT under bondage to be forced to remain with the spouse, you can separate

 

[Rockerduck]

Jesus's word (the Word of God) has authority over the Apostles. So you don't believe what Jesus says?

 

[Scott Downey]

Jesus's word (the Word of God) has authority over the Apostles. So you don't believe what Jesus says?

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Paul here is saying this was Christ's command not his own

 

[Rockerduck]

Matthew 5:32 - Youngs Literal Translation: but I -- I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife(or husband), save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her(or him) to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her( or him) who hath been put away doth commit adultery.

Jesus is against sexual misconduct within a marriage and cements that by giving that exception.

 

[Scott Downey]

Matthew 5:32 - Youngs Literal Translation: but I -- I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife(or husband), save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her(or him) to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her( or him) who hath been put away doth commit adultery.

Jesus is against sexual misconduct within a marriage and cements that by giving that exception.

Paul the apostle specially chosen by Christ understands that verse differently from you.

 

[Scott Downey]

Marriage Is Sacred and Binding​

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’

32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except [l]sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

NKJV , see that semicolon after the word adultery

 

[Rockerduck]

Of course The Apostle Paul is the Apostle to the Gentiles. We are under Grace not the Law.

 

[Scott Downey]

In many versions, I read of no remarriage being authorized by Christ

KJ21
But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery; and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
ASV
but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.
AMP
but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on grounds of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.
AMPC
But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.
BRG
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
CSB
But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
CEB
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife except for sexual unfaithfulness forces her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
CJB
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, makes her an adulteress; and that anyone who marries a divorcee commits adultery.
CEV
But I tell you not to divorce your wife unless she has committed some terrible sexual sin. If you divorce her, you will cause her to be unfaithful, just as any man who marries her is guilty of taking another man's wife.
DARBY
But *I* say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except for cause of fornication, makes her commit adultery, and whosoever marries one that is put away commits adultery.
DLNT
But I say to you that everyone sending-away his wife except for a matter of sexual-immorality is causing her to commit-adultery. And whoever marries a woman having been sent-away [from her husband] is committing-adultery.
DRA
But I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, excepting for the cause of fornication, maketh her to commit adultery: and he that shall marry her that is put away, committeth adultery.
ERV
But I tell you that any man who divorces his wife, except for the problem of sexual sin, is causing his wife to be guilty of adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman is guilty of adultery.
EHV
But I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to be regarded as an adulteress. And whoever marries the divorced woman is regarded as an adulterer.

VOICE
But I tell you this: unless your wife cheats on you, you must not divorce her, period. Nor are you to marry someone who has been married and divorces, for a divorced person who remarries commits adultery.
WEB
but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.
WE
But I tell you, no man may send away his wife unless she has committed adultery. If he does send her away, he is making her commit adultery. And if a man marries a woman who has been sent away from her husband, he commits adultery.'
WYC
But I say to you, that every man that leaveth his wife [that every man that shall leave his wife], except (for) [the] cause of fornication, maketh her to do lechery, and he that weddeth the forsaken wife, doeth adultery.
YLT
but I -- I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife, save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her who hath been put away doth commit adultery.

 

[Scott Downey]

I used to go to a church where the elders got rid of a pastor as he was refusing to allow people to marry again. The new pastor married whoever whenever regardless of anything. I learned that from a long term friend who is now on his 3rd marriage. People were getting angry that they could not remarry in their own church. The church was a fundamentalist type independent bible church.

Years ago I considered the remarry thing possibly ok, but that is not the scriptures. There was a woman who was divorced, and older and an older man wanted to marry her. She said she did not know what happened to the first husband, that he might be dead, and they had separated after less than a year of being married.

 

[Taken]

He has done it his entire adult life. While he claims to be a changed man, godly man and that had has changed him…he is on multiple dating sites such as tinder etc.

I don’t know about tinder, but suspect there are many such ways, including online to cheat. EVIDENCE, screen shot, hard copy photo it. Again, if you have evidence make copy’s for yourself hidden away and a set to use for him see, TO NOT allow him to USE Gods name for his defense. Let him have his say, and observe, and prepare yourself if you should have to leave....THEN do it without warning.
Part of preparing is to get advice from an attorney, if you should leave, without him being able to claim “abandonment” should a divorce follow. If you leave, Have no expectation to return and gather personal things, without a court order, ie divorce.
Sorry for your grief.

 

[Pearl]

I did leave with the clothes on my back. He wouldn’t allow me to get anything of mine for nearly 4 months. After that I was able to get some things. I’ve had to live from bed post to bed post. A divorce allows me to get everything I need to live like any other human does. I’m dealing with a very mean man. As far as remarrying…I haven’t even thought about another relationship much less marriage.

The sooner you are shut of him the better, what you are going through can't be good for your emotional or mental health.

 

[Pearl]

I was divorced but before I became a Christian. I thought God would never want anything to do with me but now I know better. Ina way it was due to the fear that I have been born again for many years.

 

[Biblem]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

.
God always wants the best for His children. Read the ending part of this piece, if you are not satisfied, write me an email

 

[Biblem]

I was divorced but before I became a Christian. I thought God would never want anything to do with me but now I know better. Ina way it was due to the fear that I have been born again for many years.

Divorce is not always the better option,but a last resort. All the mistake we made before accepting Jesus Christ, God

 

[Wrangler]

Statements like "You're a Christian and you must forgive me!" are emotional manipulation, and just a means of avoiding the issues of sin and repentance.

I used to think that until I learned to differentiate forgiveness with reconciliation.

It takes 1 to forgive and 2 to reconcile.

My wife is fond of saying forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

 

[Wrangler]

I thought adultery was the only reason God permitted divorce.

It is.

If your husband confessed and heartfelt begged for your forgiveness, willing to do anything to make it right, would you still throw away your marriage?

Said differently, what would have to happen for you to stay married?

 

[Jack]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

Why not just separate?

 

[Jay Ross]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

I am not going to offer you any advice that is with regards to you divorcing your husband.

However, I would suggest that you offer up a prayer to God that requests that God will include your husband among those whom He is drawing to Himself. After that Prayer, every time you pray include in your prayers, a prayer of thanksgiving and praise that God has heard your prayer to include your husband among those whom He is drawing to Himself, being thankful that God is acting on your prayer for your husband even though you do not know when or what the outcome will be.

Keep a journal of your pray times and your continuing relationship interactions with God and your husband.

At all times seek God's face and direction for your relationship with Him. As you hear from God, follow His direction as to what you should do. Forgiveness of your husband for what He has done, which has impacted your relationship with him, is important for you. This forgiveness does not mean that, after you have forgiven him, you should restore your marriage to him, or that you cannot still divorce him. These decisions are above my pay grade to provide advice on.

The advice I will give you is for you to establish a working friendship with your husband so that you can both work harmoniously towards a resolution so that you both benefit from the outcome that is decided upon that will be a blessing for you and for him.

In times of trouble within your soul, turn your mind to worshipping God because in all things He is faithful and loving to all who love Him and keep His commandments.

May you also be drawn to God and experience His loving embrace and inward peace in your life as you allow God to take your hand as together you walk with Him through all of your life until such time as you take your last breath in this present life.

May the Lord Bless you and Keep you and Guide you in His pathways so that you will receive His inheritance in due time.

Shalom

PS: - Your forgiveness of your husband is for your well-being. Unforgiveness on your part has consequences for you if you do not forgive someone who has wronged you.​

 

[Jack]

Why divorce? The Bible doesn't allow for remarriage unless the spouse has died.

 

[Wrangler]

39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives;

What law? The laws of 1st century Palestine do not apply to 21st century America.

Why divorce? The Bible doesn't allow for remarriage unless the spouse has died.

The reason to divorce is not primarily to remarry. How did the women at the well have 5 husbands and was living with a man who was not her husband? Do you suppose they all died?

My wife and I are both on our 2nd marriage. Her 1st husband was a frequent adulterer. My 1st wife was a frequent abandoner. I divorced her in recognition of the fact that the marriage was already dead. She had no desire or capacity to commit. She once asked me why keep a commitment if you don't feel like it? I angrily told her a commitment means doing what you committed to EVEN WHEN you don't feel like it. I was having severe health issues and was confident I was going to die if I did not make this change, jettison the biggest source of stress in my life. And no, she did not pause her abandonment during that time but doubled down on it.

I know foolish men who say we should "love" our wife like Christ loved the church, that is sacrifice our lives. No thank you. If that's what the expectation is, condemn me for not being 'marriage material.' I can live with such condemnation but sacrificing my life to a fool - or foolish ideas - is no kind of life.

My wife and I wanted a marital relationship, which is why we got married and remarried. We found ourselves with a spouse unable or unwilling to function in that role.

Regarding what the Bible allows, again the laws of 1st century Palestine do not apply to 21st century America. If I and @PerfectlyImperfect do not follow the Bible to your satisfaction, forgive us.