After Seperation but before Divorce

[Born_Again]

I have a question for everyone out there. Through recent trials and tribulations I have had questions in my mind. If a marriage has ended, they have separated and divorce is the outcome but it hasn't happened yet, are you able to have another relationship before the divorce is final? I only ask this out of curiosity. My general feeling is that it is wrong and you shouldn't pursue another relationship until after the divorce is final but I wanted everyone to weigh in on this one and tell me what they think.

 

[truthquest]

If I was married and separated from my husband then it would be very wrong for me to pursue another relationship till after the divorce is final, for several reasons one of which is that I would still be married no matter where I lived. I think instead of pursuing another relationship I would want to try to still make my marriage work. And even if that couldn't be done, I would hope that I would not pursue another relationship during a separation especially after a failed marriage. I think I would need some time to consider this carefully and prayerfully. I think that pursuing another relationship during this time should not even enter my mind.

 

[Born_Again]

That's what I was thinking. Even in my own current situation, its not over for me until the ink hits the paper. And any relationship I had near that same timeframe would be meaningless and I'm pretty sure I got past those types in high school.

 

[clark thompson]

I have never understood why there is a time between separation and divorce but while marriage is still they should not be with someone else.

 

[Born_Again]

I have never understood why there is a time between separation and divorce but while marriage is still they should not be with someone else.

Well, lets use my situation as an example, I still love her, I want us to work out, but as it stands, I need some time with her not there so I can address what I need to address with myself, as she needs to do the same. It's any mans guess how it may turn out.

 

[Axehead]

I have a question for everyone out there. Through recent trials and tribulations I have had questions in my mind. If a marriage has ended, they have separated and divorce is the outcome but it hasn't happened yet, are you able to have another relationship before the divorce is final? I only ask this out of curiosity. My general feeling is that it is wrong and you shouldn't pursue another relationship until after the divorce is final but I wanted everyone to weigh in on this one and tell me what they think.

I'm just curious what the Lord is telling you? Since we don't walk by a moral code of dos and don'ts but by His life and a word revealed from His heart to ours, daily and even moment by moment. God wants us to walk in honesty and truthfulness before Him and everyone else and not to do anything that would defraud another individual. Please don't take this negatively or think it is an attack, but I am always surprised that Christians ask others what they should do in a certain situation (as if they know your life with God) since we have the Holy Spirit who leads us into ALL truth.

Axehead

 

[Born_Again]

I personally wouldnt do it. I'm a bit more concerned about the other half of the equation. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still married and thats pretty much all there is to it. Not all parties concerned are on the same page. Like truthquest said, I personally would like to use the time to try to recover the relationship. This was out of curiousity more or less. I believe lust is adultry. It just sucks when the other half doesnt share the same walk.

 

[pom2014]

What does Our King say about divorce?

He says we can ONLY have it because of adultery.

What does The King say about remarriage?

We can ONLY have it if the spouse dies.

So, as a servant of The King, what should we do?

 

[Axehead]

True Christians should not get divorced. At least one of them should be a "Stander" and stand for their marriage in fasting and prayer. Do we not serve the God of reconciliation who can change our hearts? What is our message to the lost? Seems like the Church is adhering more to the world's gospel, as the world is having more success evangelizing the church than the church is having evangelizing the world. Stand for your marriage no matter how long it takes. This is the will of God. This is a testimony of God's grace and love in the lives of Christians who are married.

Matt_5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

[pom2014]

Followers can divorce for adultery.

But I agree they should try all they can to reconcile.

Separation is a good thing, especially in cases of violence. But that with that separation should also come civil charges for the violence met out against the spouse or the children.

But there is NO righteous way to remarry unless the spouse has died.

 

[BARNEY BRIGHT]

If I was married and separated from my husband then it would be very wrong for me to pursue another relationship till after the divorce is final, for several reasons one of which is that I would still be married no matter where I lived. I think instead of pursuing another relationship I would want to try to still make my marriage work. And even if that couldn't be done, I would hope that I would not pursue another relationship during a separation especially after a failed marriage. I think I would need some time to consider this carefully and prayerfully. I think that pursuing another relationship during this time should not even enter my mind.

I agree with what you have said here. None of us should even be thinking about such an intimate relationship at this time. Like you said we need time really to set things straight in our own minds before pursuing such a relationship.

 

[BARNEY BRIGHT]

Well, lets use my situation as an example, I still love her, I want us to work out, but as it stands, I need some time with her not there so I can address what I need to address with myself, as she needs to do the same. It's any mans guess how it may turn out.

I understand the situation you're in and you need time apart to set things straight in your mind but understand that separation shouldn't be too long because you both are imperfect people and one of you or both could be tempted with someone else. So if you think your marriage can be saved, don't be separated too long, figure things out. One of the basic things people look over while in that separation state is that this couple has been together for awhile sexually, and no matter what someone may say having had sex regularly then be deprived of it will cause someone to be tempted. I see this happening a lot even with those who are Christian.(1 Corinthians 7:4-5)The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time, so that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, in order that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-control.

 

[Armadillo]

If there is abuse within the marriage, divorce and move on. Compassion and empathy cannot be taught and behavior modification does not transform.

Marriage and divorce are used as a metaphor for freedom from the Law and Romans 7 lets us know what happens after belief in Jesus Christ and with the marriage of salvation, Ephesians 5:31, you are not bound by the Law, a new husband, and a new spirit are given, Romans 7:6.

Most of Romans 7 deals with working out, coming to terms with and dealing with the spooks of a past marriage and the more you go back to the old marriage, first husband, Law, in order to live your life, it's considered adultery and sin takes over, Romans 6:14, Romans 5:20.

I have a question for everyone out there. Through recent trials and tribulations I have had questions in my mind. If a marriage has ended, they have separated and divorce is the outcome but it hasn't happened yet, are you able to have another relationship before the divorce is final? I only ask this out of curiosity. My general feeling is that it is wrong and you shouldn't pursue another relationship until after the divorce is final but I wanted everyone to weigh in on this one and tell me what they think.

It is your choice to live by a moral code or by the Law of the Spirit. Would moving onto a new relationship before the "ink is dry" bring you peace or confusion?

Romans 8:2, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Romans 14:17, For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, PEACE and joy in the Holy Spirit,