1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Am I cursed or just born to be miserable?

Discussion in 'Christianity & Science Forum' started by strawberryrain, Aug 23, 2020.

  1. strawberryrain

    strawberryrain New Member

    Likes Received:
    Macedonia, The Former Yugoslav Republic Of
    Hello. I am a girl in her 20's who feels completely alone, devastated, exhausted, and unwilling to fight anymore. Please, don't judge or insult me as this is the last thing I need since I try my best fight and heal my invisible wounds. I am a believer who lives neither in America, nor in England, nor in a country where there are Protestant churches. It's no secret where I live, but I just prefer not to go into such details.

    My first biggest devastation was when my only one dream to live abroad where there are such churches and life that I wanted, was completely broken due to many reasons and personal obstacles in my life, making it completely impossible no matter how much I tried. It's really difficult and I can't stand it, I don't find meaning in life.... I even start thinking that I'm cursed or born to be alone and unhappy - my only dream to live abroad was broken and impossible. And I ask God why did he let this happen when so many even non-believers successfully live my dream without even dreaming, working hard, and praying for it? People say that God knows your true desires and when you work hard and pray for them, He will let them happen. And no matter how much I tried, my dream was shattered and made impossible, but people that don't even care about that already live my dream.... Why?

    The second heartbreak that is so painful to me is the fact that after my only one dream was broken, I thought that God has a better plan for me here in my country. BUT I feel like my problems here are endless and I will never be truly happy. And I know that no one has a perfect life and everyone has problems. However, nothing in my life here is good, not to mention to get better.. my parents don't care about me, my friends are not real, despite all my hard work, I am treated badly in my work and it's an emotional abuse. And on the top of that - I am experiencing this hell all alone... Also, I am 26 years old and I'm horrified that I will never find the right person and true love. Boys always preferred someone else instead of me and they almost never been interested in me, although my friends say that I have a great character and I am beautiful. All my friends already have long and happy relationships, and so far, I've only had one. While looking in the profiles of Christians in social media, I often see how they define themselves ''blessed and happy people without big problems, to whom God often sends miracles'' They find the love of their lives in a unique way in their early 20s. They build big and happy religious families, which we often see in beautiful photo sessions. They have many amazing and loyal friends....

    And I am 26 years old and so far, I have only had one relationship. There is no prospect of meeting the right person anymore, because the places where people meet their loved ones, are impossible for me. I graduated from college, there are no men in my work, and I have 2 girlfriends who also don't go out in big companies. I don't think I've done anything so bad in my life, nor am I a bad person, and I really don't know why nothing good happens in my life. I also pray to meet the love of my life, to have a strong and happy family, but unlike believers in social media, miracles don't happen to me. On the contrary - I'm alone and I don't think I ever have a chance to meet the right person.

    Please, from the bottom of my heart, I go to therapy, but I would love for you to give me a piece of advice or just an opinion, because I really feel shattered, exhausted, and I can't anymore ...
  2. Hidden In Him

    Hidden In Him Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    United States

    Greetings, sister, and glad you joined the forum. Don't believe everyone who tells you how wonderful their life is. :) Half the Christian marriages in the United States end in divorce.
    Let me change your perspective. There is only one "right person," and His name is the Lord Jesus Christ. And He is right there. What you need to do is draw closer to Him. I am relatively happily married and have been for 13 years, and I have numerous friends, but I can tell you from experience that no human being will always be there for you. There are times when you could have every friend in the entire world and still feel alone. And did you know what the answer is? You draw closer to the ONE Person who will NEVER ever fail you.

    He is there just like He is here, so all you need to do is give your heart and attention to Him instead of others.

    God bless, and welcome to Christianity Board.
    Josho and GTW27 like this.
  3. Ronald Nolette

    Ronald Nolette Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    United States
    Hi Strawberry rain. Welcome here!

    I can understand your heartbreak at seeing desires dashed. Believe it or not it happens to all of us.

    I can only tell you that your joy and peace are not dependent on your geography! Jesus is Lord everywhere and is more than capable of making us Joyous in the lousiest situations. Remember the Story of Joseph with His brothers and Daniel in the lions den and fiery furnace!

    Remember this fact that jesus spoke:
    John 16:33
    These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

    If we have lost our joy and peace, it is not because jesus has abandoned us, it is because we have succumbed to the lies of the enemies of our soul (the world, the flesh and the devil) If you are in a fiery trial- God is there with you in the midst of the fire! He will work HIs plan in your life!

    As for a relationship? Try to be patient. I know this i shard. But God designed us to be married so He has the perfect mate for you out there. He may be working on you so that you can be that perfect mate for the one when He does arrive and sweeps you off your feet.

    Patience is hard when we are hurting and lonely but these deserts God puts us through reap uncountable riches if we cry out to God to have His way.

    Let me conclude with a poem that has touched my life numerous times.

    When God wants to drill a man,

    And thrill a man,

    And skill a man

    When God wants to mold a man

    To play the noblest part;

    When He yearns with all His heart

    To create so great and bold a man

    That all the world shall be amazed,

    Watch His methods, watch His ways!

    How He ruthlessly perfects

    Whom He royally elects!

    How He hammers him and hurts him,

    And with mighty blows converts him

    Into trial shapes of clay which

    Only God understands;

    While his tortured heart is crying

    And he lifts beseeching hands!

    How He bends but never breaks

    When his good He undertakes;

    How He uses whom He chooses,

    And which every purpose fuses him;

    By every act induces him

    To try His splendor out-

    God knows what He's about.

    This may not be the rosiest advice you ever will hear, but I believe it is the most important for your future Joy and peace.